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Wednesday, October 10, 2012 Dancing with the Stars or a terrorist incident? Dave gets a monologue surprise.
Salma Hayek Pinault, Nick Offerman, and KISS.
PLUS: a dancer; a Nobel Prize; the debate on Telemundo; a Top Ten list; and why Mitt won't be on the show.

" . . . . and now, waiting for a call from the Nobel people . . . . David Letterman."

ACT 1:
I came in Wednesday morning to write up last night's program. I found a comedy piece that would take a lot of "looking up and finding." The info would be needed early. Doing this would cut into my Wahoo time. I'll write up just a bit more than a list of the elements of the show

MONOLOGUE
-"The Baltimore Orioles and the New York Yankees are battling it out in the playoffs. The mayors have made a bet. If the Yankees win, Baltimore will send us some Maryland crabs. If the Orioles win, we will send an illegal 32-ounce soda."

Dave's opening remarks are interrupted by an exotic dancer. She dances around Dave, then exits. What was that all about? It was for Dave's "Dancing With The Stars" audition tape.

Some very impressive work being recognized by the Nobel committee this year. We take a look at the announcement for the Physics prize.
ANNOUNCE: "The Nobel committee is pleased to award this year's Physics prize to Serge Haroche and David Wineland. The pair used quantum mechanics and Einstein's relativity to solve the paradox of Red Lobster's Endless Shrimp promotion, only existing for a limited time. The Nobel Foundation: When you're here, you're family."

Jim? Jim Lehrer says, "Thank you and good night."

Who won the debate last week? Well, if you watched Telemundo you would say that Obama won. We take a look why.
We see President Obama speaking. The translator's voice is deep and rich.
We see Mitt Romney speaking. His voice is tinny and cartoonish . . . . or just like Tony Mendez.

ACT 2:
Mitt, Mitt, Mitt . . . will you come on? It looks like it is a no. We've tried everything but we've been rebuffed. It's bad enough to be buffed, but to be rebuffed is hard to accept. Dave sadly confesses to the audience, "I have failed you." But this failure has brought introspection to Dave. Perhaps . . . perhaps Mitt Romney's refusal to appear is Dave's fault. We take a look at why it may be Dave's fault.
-We see Mitt singing the "Mormon" National Anthem"
-We see Mitt being a bully - he has a graduating college senior in a headlock.
-We see Mitt in a soap opera on "The Young and the Restless"
-We see Mitt as Chuck Woolery on the "Love Connection"
-We see Mitt plus a moustache equaling Wayne Newton.
-We see Mitt doing the Magic Mitt, stripping while giving a speech.
-Mitt's dancing horse
-And Mitt's dog on the roof of the car

OK, OK, so maybe Mitt has a point.

ACT 3:
TOP TEN: THINGS KIDS WOULD LIKE TO ASK MITT ROMNEY
- not only is Mitt declining an invitation to appear here on the show, he's also refusing to meet with the kids on Nickelodeon.

THINGS KIDS WOULD LIKE TO ASK MITT ROMNEY
7. "If elected, will you please overturn healthy school lunches?"
4. "Should I keep my allowance money in the Cayman Islands?"

Some of the ones I threw in to the Top Ten basket.
-"Why doesn't your hair move?"
-"Can you spell 'potato'?"
-"Why did you pick a Vice President who is my age?"
-If you lived under the sea in high school, would you have teased 'Sponge Bob's' Patrick?
-My great grandfather wants to know why you won't go on Letterman.

SALMA HAYEK PINAULT: Va-va-va-voom! She's in the new film, "Here Comes the Boom." It opens Friday.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Tomorrow it's another rodeo, with Lucy Liu, Rob Corddry, and Daughter. Visit cbs.com/lateshow to watch KISS Live on Letterman. KISS' exclusive online concert from the Ed Sullivan Theater can be streamed on demand. I don't have to justify myself to you people.

ACT 6:
NICK OFFERMAN
: Not everybody on the crew knew who he was until they saw him. Then they all said the same, 'Oh, I like this guy! He's funny." Yeah, he's a favorite around here. Very dry, very funny. And he has interests outside of acting. In fact, it seems like he's an actor just to allow him to do his woodworking.
You can see him on "Parks and Recreation" - NBC - Thursdays at 9:30 PM

ACT 7:
KISS
: From their new album, "Monster," KISS performed "Hell of Hallelujah." Now THAT was fun. Not quite my cup of tea, but yeah! That was fun!!

And that was our show for Wednesday, October, 10, 2012.

Yes, I know . . . I know . . . it's not fair. To be a New York Giant and Yankee fan isn't really being fair to the rest of the country. Too many riches for one lifetime. But in my defense, all I can say is I came on board to these two teams in my early years of the mid-1960s to mid-70s. From when I was 8 to 16, the Yankees and Giants were dreadful. Just awful. Those impressionable years as a fan a youth can never get over. But I know . . . you don't want to hear it now and I don't blame you. For Yankee and Giant fans now it's like being asked, "More dessert?" and you have room in the belly for more and more. Can't get enough.

For those not in the know, the Yankees pulled out a playoff stunner Wednesday night when Raul Ibanez pinch hit for one of the greatest home run hitters of all time in a one-run game in the 9th. With Alex Rodriguez told to sit, Raul hit a game-tying home run. Three innings later in the 12th, he hit another home run to win the game. And my favorite part was watching Raul circle the bases without theatrics. Head down, workman-like, job well done. Not until he approached his celebrating teammates at home plate did he display any emotion. For some reason, I like no emotion.

It was a gutsy decision by Yankee manager Joe Girardi. How could he pinch hit for the great Alex Rodriguez? Commentators after the game said if Raul Ibanez made an out in the situation and the Yankees went on to lose, Girardi would be second-guessed forever. WRONG! Every Yankee fan I know applauded the move and would make it 100 times again. A-Rod was 1-for-12 in these playoffs with 7 strike outs. Outside of 2009, he's been horrendous for the October Yankees. Girardi pinch-hitting for A-Rod there made all the sense in the world. Oddly enough, I would start and bat Alex 3rd again in Thursday night's game. But if Jeter can't go, then I might move him because the entire lineup would have to be changed.

Are you still reading this?

After the game, commentators mentioned how happy Alex Rodriguez was for his pinch-hitter Raul Ibanez. Of course he was! If Raul made an out, no one would be mad at Raul; they'd be mad at Alex for going 0-for3 and striking out two times in the game. Raul saved Alex a lot of grief.

But an even better story than the Yankees is what's going on in Oakland with the Oakland Athletics. But since I'm not an Oakland fan, I don't have much to say about them.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Yankee fan forever, from Slate Hill, New York, it's Johnny DelRegno.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

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Tuesday, September 9
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Monday, September 8
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