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Thursday, November 27, 2014 How well does Dave know his giblets?

Show #4127

Jake Gyllenhaal, Dr. John Holdren, and Niko & Vinz.  
PLUS: Know Your Giblets; pardoning the turkey; Medal of Freedom recipients.
 
“ . . . and now, your antidote to Tryptophan . . . . . . . . .  David Letterman!”
 
ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE
-“Last year at the Thanksgiving Day Parade here in the City, the Snoopy balloon sprang a leak and a million people ended up sounding like Robin Thicke.”
 
With Thanksgiving just around the corner, we always think of the Butterball turkey hotline.   But this year they’ve got something new.  We take a look.
ANNOUNCE: “During the Thanksgiving season, we all need to be extra vigilant.  If you observe turkey-related wrongdoing, call the Butterball Anonymous Tip Hotline.”
CALLER ON PHONE #1: “There’s a shifty-looking guy selling gravy out of a van.”
CALLER ON PHONE #2: “Some teenagers are fooling around with a baster.”
HOTLINE HOST: “We’re on it.”
ANNOUNCE: “The Butterball Anonymous Tip Hotline --- it’s the right thing to do.”
 
“Thanksgiving is tomorrow.   After Mom’s had a couple glasses of wine, she looks down at the turkey and starts saying, “Here kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty.   Here kitty kitty kitty.   Meow.  Meow.   Here kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty.”
Yup, it goes into my Odd Dave file.
 
Dave is interrupted by an exciting announce: “It’s time to play ‘Know Your Giblets!’    30 seconds on the clock.  Ready?  And  . . . . go!”
Images of various giblets appear.  Dave shouts out the names of the giblets as they appear.
DAVE: “”Gizzard!”  (DING)   “Heart”  (DING)   “Kidney” (DING)   “Neck!”  (DING)   “Liver”  (DING)
ANNOUNCE: “Thanks for playing Know Your Giblets!  A Mark Goodson television production.”
 
Every Thanksgiving at the White House, the President pardons a turkey.   Dave saw a fascinating news report on the tradition earlier today.   We take a look.
ANNOUNCE: “In a long-standing White House tradition, the President will pardon a turkey for Thanksgiving, allowing one lucky bird to go free and enjoy its life for a couple of months until its deliberately over-fattened body prematurely breaks down due to heart failure.”
Cut to an animation of a turkey.  The turkey lifts a wing to its chest and moans, ala Redd Foxx, “This is the big one, Elizabeth!”   The turkey then clunks over dead.
ANNOUNCE: “Daryl Cronkite, CNN, Washington.”
 
Yesterday, President Obama awarded 18 individuals with the Medal of Freedom.   Seems like a lot.   We take a look at the official announcement.
ANNOUNCE: “The White House proudly congratulates the eighteen recipients of the nation’s highest civilian honor, the 2014 Medal of Freedom:
Meryl Streep, Tom Brokaw, Stevie Wonder, Johnny Galecki, Mario Lopes, Kevin Sorbo, Dan Dierdorf, Rhea Pearlman, Papa John, Rutger Hauer, injury attorneys Cellino and Barnes, ‘Hacksaw’ Jim Duggan, Carmelo Anthony’s wife, Burt Young, Ice-T and Coco, and the lady from ‘My Strange Addiction’ who eats sand.”
ANNOUNCE 2: “We make your dreams come true, at the White House!”
 
ACT 2:
JAKE GYLLENHAAL
Pulling double duty, Jake is currently starring in the film, “Nightcrawler,” and making his Broadway debut in “Constellations.”  The play consists of just two actors, he and Ruth Wilson, in a love story about life, love, and the many choices we make.   Jake says it’s a relationship that happens in different universes.  Yeah, I think most of us have been in one of those.   Jakes says that working on Broadway is exciting, nerve-wracking, and an incredible honor.   “Constellations” has a limited run through March.
“Nightcrawler” – Dave first thought it was about bass fishing.  Not quite.   It’s about guys who run around the city with video cameras hoping to catch the next big news story, and then selling the footage to the local news.   The little-known free-lance career is available to anyone who has a camera and a police scanner.   And how does the news video camera Union think of this?   Dave goes to our cameraman, Al Cialino, who offers an opinion.    It sounds like these “stingers” as they are called, are non-Unionized and could pose a problem among the videographers and the network.   Dave eyes Jake suspiciously, who defends himself by saying he’s only playing a “stringer” and that he offers no real opinion on the Union issue.   Dave adds that Jake’s character in the film seems a bit oily and weaselly.    Jake doesn’t disagree too much.   Dave refers to stringers as a bit of a bottom feeder . . . a salmon.    Dave mentioning “salmon” excites Jake because he’s been doing a “salmon” thing a lot lately and it’s one of his favorite things to do.  He demonstrates.   He has Dave stand on stage as if doing the monologue.   Jake approaches from behind and yells, “Salmon!”   He then slaps the inside of Dave’s thighs back and forth, sounding I guess like a salmon.   Wow!  I never knew salmon sounded like that.
Jake Gyllenhaal – see him in the movies in “Nightcrawler” now in theaters, or see him LIVE on stage in “Constellations” at the Samuel J. Friedman Theater on 47th Street.   Previews begin December 16th.   
 
ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: “Catch tomorrow’s Late Show as Dave welcomes Ted Danson, comedian Andrew Norelli and Stupid Human Tricks.    If you think it’s ‘cool’ to make cupcakes in a muffin tin, you and I are done.”
 
ACT 6:
DR. JOHN HOLDREN
He’s the Assistant to the President for Science and Technology, and the Director of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy.   Dave is curious about the recent agreement between the United States and China.  Dr. Holdren is extremely pleased that these two great powers have come to terms with the severe importance in reducing our carbon gas emissions.    They’ve agreed to emit 26-28% less carbon in 2025 than it did in 2005.    This is significant since we are the two biggest polluters and the two biggest powers in the world.  This will make us leaders to others in our journey to a cleaner world. Enforcement of their agreement?  Oh, there is none, except embarrassment in front of the rest of the world, and the fear of some “Nyah nyah nyah” by the more successful country.
Dave is forever the pessimist when it comes to Global Warming and Climate Change and wonders what Glacier Park in Montana will be called when the glaciers are gone.  I was waiting for a snarky, “Glacier Lake” from the Doctor but he wisely left it alone.  
Is there any good news out there?   Dr. Holdren says that since the Obama Administration has come into power, the United States has tripled their use of wind energy and increased our use of sun power ten-fold.  And China has made great strides in living cleaner.
Dave repeats something he heard a while ago, that if the world stopped producing carbon emission 100% today . . .  100% . . .  that the world would continue to heat up for another 60 years.  Dave then says he heard that from Dr. Holdren himself during his last visit.   Holdren admits that he used to be an Apocalpytic Doctor, but now that he works for the government, he’s inherently hopeful.
So it looks like we are finally facing the inevitable and making changes.  Of course, the real change will come when it becomes easy money to do so.
 
ACT 7:
NIKO & VINZ
From their CD, “Black Star Elephant,” the duo from Oslo, Norway performed “In Your Arms.”
 
And that was our show for Tuesday, November 25, 20014.
 
Tomorrow is the annual Turkey Trot around Rockland Lake and for the 20th consecutive year I’ll be saying “Next year.”  And then there’s an Alumni Run at Bear Mountain on Saturday morning.   My saying “Next year” there is now at 25 years.   The last time I ran I was in a dead sprint for the last 150 yards against another runner.   There were many more who had already finished ahead of us than were behind us.    We battled shoulder to shoulder . . . he had the lead . . . then I had the lead . . . then he, then me.   The last 20 yards I pulled ahead and stayed ahead.  I won my own little victory.   Afterwards over drinks at the Inn, I learned that he went to Clarkstown North High School, the next high school over from mine.   I asked what event he ran in high school.   “Half mile?  The quarter?  220?”    He told me he was the shot putter.  Ouch.  My little victory had just got a little littler. 
 
The worst thing about the NY Giants being 3-8 and the NY Jets being 2-9 . . . . we still have another 5 weeks of this.  Really, the only thing Giant fans have left to look forward to is the game against the Eagles.  If we can win that one, at least we can feel we achieved something.    Unfortunately, that would also mean the Dallas Cowboys would benefit.   I’ve forgotten how dreadful a dreadful football season can be.  Oy.
 
It’s snowing here in New York Wednesday noon.  Can’t imagine the supermarkets right now.    One, there’s a snowstorm so there is panic in the streets, and two, tomorrow’s Thanksgiving!  Talk about the perfect storm!   I’m thinking of going to the local ShopRite just to watch.
 
My pie is done.   I spent the morning making Martha Stewart’s Triple-Chocolate Pumpkin Pie.  Considering the time and effort and money on ingredients, I think it would have been cheaper to buy a pre-made.   What are you making “special” for the day?
 
 
Next week’s previously viewed programs:
THURSDAY: From 9/26/14 #4090 – Stupid Human Tricks, Ted Danson, and Andrew Norelli.
FRIDAY: From 10/14//14 #4102 – Michael Keaton, Foo Fighters with Ann and Nancy Wilson, and a Top Ten List by Governor Andrew Cuomo.  Plus: a new announcer
MONDAY: From 10/29/14 #4108 – Jim Carrey, and David Tennant
TUESDAY: From 11/12/14 #4117 – Jennifer Lawrence, and London Mayor Boris Johnson. Plus: Dave gets served papers
WEDNESDAY: From 10/28/14 #4107 – Taylor Swift, and Tom Mison.
THURSDAY: From 10/15/14 #4103 – Bill Murray, and Foo Fighters with Tony Joe White.
FRIDAY: From 10/16/14 #4104 – Tom Selleck, Jenny Slate, and Foo Fighters with Rick Nielsen
 
Check the Wahoo Archives and make your plans accordingly
 
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Denise McIntee, Danielle McIntee, and Dominique McIntee --- now there’s something to be thankful for.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike
 

Tonight's Guests

Michael Keaton
Top Ten with Gov. Cuomo
Foo Fighters with Ann & Nancy Wilson

Wahoo Gazette Archive

Thursday, November 27
How well does Dave know his giblets?
Monday, November 24
Todd the cue card guy sings for a safe Thanksgiving.
Friday, November 21
I'm not a tailor and I didn't play one on TV.
Thursday, November 20
Dave approves a family of actors to attend Thanksgiving in his stead.
Wednesday, November 19
Dave and Regis turn to their friend Peter Lassally for conversation.