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(I)n college, I had not yet come to terms with my lack of dancing skills or with my utter lack of physical dexterity of any kind. In my head, I was a gazelle, lithe and graceful, gliding across campus like a wayward angel fallen to earth, strewing fragrant blossoms and opals in her path.
In reality, I was a massive, galumphing klutz. Towering, awkward, and completely oblivious to anything happening around me. I was insanely accident-prone. I had the unique ability to find the one sharp item in a room full of down pillows and dandelion fluff, then impale myself on it violently and repeatedly, perhaps nicking a few bystanders in the process. I was the human equivalent of Mechagodzilla, crushing all in my path to dust in an orgy of carnage.Read More