Redo You: Relationships with Dr. Ian Smith
In "The Truth About Men," Dr. Ian Smith doesn't set out to claim whether men or women are right or wrong. Instead, he provides ladies with honest and provocative insight into what is going through the minds of men. Dr. Ian says that by understanding what it is that men want you to know but won't tell you, women can take action to improve their relationships.
- Your man wants you to tell him how to sexually satisfy you. A lot of men won't tell a woman that they're wondering what to do. They are afraid their woman will think they're no good in bed, and they don't want to admit that they're asking for advice. Asking for help or instructions makes a man feel inadequate. Instead, he wants YOU to help him and tell him what makes you feel good. He won't necessarily ask, but he definitely wants to know.
- Your man wants you to know that he has sexual needs, even at that time of the month. We know that sometimes you don't feel sexy. This is not us trying to be insensitive. It's just that men's sexual appetite does not get turned off at certain times of the month. Men want you to know this but they don't want to tell you because they don't want to be branded as selfish and not caring. If you don't want to have sex, there are things you can do other than intercourse that will go a long way for your guy. And rest assured, he will gratefully remember that you were willing to take care of him although you couldn't be taken care of yourself.
- Morning sex always delivers. What's the big deal about morning sex? Biologically, men have testosterone spikes in the morning. It's not about being romantic or looking your best; is about satisfying the libido. Your hair and makeup don't have to be done! We're not interested in that. In fact, one of the worst things you can do in the morning is to complicate things. The morning allows both of you to be comfortable with not having to be at the top of your game.
- Your man expects you to invest some time and energy in your appearance. Men are physical and visual creatures. Women often take their appearance seriously in the beginning of the relationship, but it's even more important when you've been together for a while. We've all had that feeling where you become so relaxed and don't feel like you need to impress anyone. You can let your guard down, but what you look like means a lot to your man. If you put even a little effort into your presentation, you are primed to collect significant male dividends.
- He wants you to be a little naughty. A survey polled both men and women about whether they thought their partner was as sexually adventurous as they would like. Sixty-seven percent of men said no, while only thirty percent of women said no. There's clearly a difference of opinion here! It's about spice and keeping the sizzle in the relationship. Sometimes it's not the sexual act itself that is "naughty," it's the packaging. It's the when, where and how you do it. We always focus on the act itself, but it's all the stuff leading up to it and surrounding it that keeps him interested.
- Your man definitely wants you to know this: you should initiate sex, too! Guys want you to initiate sex and mean it at least some of the time. We don't mind initiating most of the time, but guys have sensitive egos. They want to know that they're physically appealing to their mate. If the guy has to always make the first move, he'll start to have doubts about himself.
For more of Dr. Ian's tips, and for information on how to get his book "The Truth About Men," click here.