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Redo You: Relationships with Paul Carrick Brunson
Paul Carrick Brunson (https://twitter.com/paulcbrunson ) is a professional matchmaker and relationship coach who stars in OWN's new reality series "Lovetown, USA.” (http://www.oprah.com/own-lovetown-usa/lovetown-usa.html)
Here is his list of “The Biggest Dating Mistakes That Women Make And How To Prevent Them.”
Showing Up Late Without A Call Or Text = Lack of Importance In The Date
If you’re going to be later than 5 minutes and don’t call or text, it’s a fail! Showing up late starts the date off terribly. It conveys a lack of importance. We prioritize what’s important in our life by how much time (and money) we dedicate to it.
Corrective Step: Show up on time or call the moment you realize you’re going to be late.
Poor Eye Contact + Fake Smile = Not Confident and/or Stalker Alert!
The saying goes, “Eyes are the windows to our souls.” If you limit eye contact because you’re looking away, you simply don’t look confident. Also, fake smiles are fairly easy to spot. Too many inauthentic smiles and you enter the “looks like a stalker” category.
Corrective Step: Eye contact should be focused on the person with whom you’re talking. Be sure to mix in a few nods and eye blinks, otherwise you look like a stalker. The rule of thumb is that short single nods are most effective – it shows that you’re listening. Double or triple nods make it seem as if you’re trying to speed the person up.
Using Your Cell Phone (or leaving it on table) = Disinterest
One the biggest mistakes made on a date is using your cell phone or placing it on the table (and glancing at it every time you get a message).
Corrective Step: When you’re on a date, please keep your cell phone in your bag. Your date deserves your full attention.
Not Using the B.B.R. (Belly Button Rule) = Disinterest
This is my favorite rule and one I talk about in-depth at my coaching sessions – the B.B.R. otherwise known as the Belly Button Rule is the MOST TELLING and COMPELLING of all body language tactics. The direction our belly button faces reflects our attitude and our emotional state. When we face our navel towards someone, we’re subconsciously saying we’re interested in the person or the conversation. Face your navel away, and you’re saying “get me the hell out of this.”
Corrective Step: Most people do not know this rule, so learn it, master it, and you’ll be able to better read and control your interactions.
Underdressed, Overdressed, or Inappropriately Dressed = Pretentious, Not fun, or Easy
On a date, especially right after work, many women often forget to dress sexy. Your business causal outfit is not hot! Conversely, don’t wear close to nothing. Just because he’s salivating doesn’t mean he “likes” your attire. It might be just the thought of you later in his bed that is causing the drool. Lastly, if the date is an activity like a hike, forego the heels and mini-dress.
Corrective Step: Dress for the occasion.
Make Frequent Mentions Of Past Relationships = Not Over The Ex
Living in the past is extremely dangerous. If you can’t stop talking about how great the old flame was or how you enjoyed the things you both did, chances are you still wish you were in that moment.
Corrective Step: Do yourself (and your date) a favor by admitting you’re not ready for a new relationship, yet.
If You’re Rude To Others = Poor Social Skills & Not Nice
Nothing makes a man want to run away like a rude and impolite woman. Being “nice” is often the most requested ask from my male clients. If you’re on your date and the waiter forgot the extra lemon wedges… and before the waiter is out of earshot, you shout “Stupid (BLEEP)…” Hmmm…that ain’t nice!
Corrective Step: Treat everyone the way you would want to be treated.
Telling the World How Smart or Great You Are = Insecure
The person that feels the need to show people they’re smarter than everyone thinks they are, typically is not. Another issue about insecurity is that predators feed off of it.
Corrective Steps: Realize you may not be ready to date!
Links: https://twitter.com/paulcbrunson
http://www.oprah.com/own-lovetown-usa/lovetown-usa.html
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