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Joe's Blog Meet Joe McAlister

Posted on May 30, 2013 09:00am

World, meet Chester's Mill.

Chester's Mill, meet World.

This is the first installment of my new blog. Why am I doing this? Because there are two things you need to know before you are really living:

1) Me. Joe McAlister.

2) The thriving, vibrant metropolis that is my hometown.

JK. I'm actually doing this because I'm bored. Because I live in Chester's Mill, where 25 people stood around last weekend watching some dudes cut up the dead oak tree in Mrs. Moore's yard. Because the highlight of everyone's summer is climbing up to the top of the water tower, and then being ordered down by somebody's dad.

And, full disclosure: I'm also doing this because I am a proud member of the Nerd Herd. The Dork Side of the Force. Because I like technology and technical stuff, not to mention physics and math proofs. Because this is the kind of thing that makes me laugh: 1f u c4n r34d th1s u n33d t0 g37 l41d.

So - I'm going to show you around town, and show you my world.

The truth is, Chester's Mill is an okay place to grow up. One of the window panes on my front door was missing for about two years before my dad bothered replacing it. To get inside, we'd just reach through the hole and turn the knob.We've got good fireworks on July 4. We got a new firetruck last year. There's a cool lake. (With a legendary fish who supposedly has a full beard made out of old fishing lures.)

And a bit more about me:

Joseph Ernest McAlister. Born the same year as the Harry Potter series. Son of a truck driver and a stay-at-home mom. One sister – Angie, who used to put her used socks inside my pillow case and once fed me fried slugs and told me it was chicken. Angie would go on to become one of the town's more successful babysitters. Says a lot about Chester's Mill.

I am 6-foot-4, 190 pounds. Abs of steel. Wait, sorry – that's someone else.

Likes include: Potato chips dipped in whipped cream; 20-game winners; Science fiction; Astronomy; Reggae and ska; The difference between irony and coincidence. Dislikes: Lima beans; Designated hitters; Alternate history; Astrology; Dubstep; "Thx" and other stupid shortcuts.

Thx for reading! Hahahaha - tune in next week for Joe 2.0!