posted February 15, 2013

Go the spoils. And the firm of Lockhart-Gardner is just that – spoiled. For a firm that was in a financial pit of quicksand a month ago, LG has now found itself diving through a mountain range of gold coins. With a firm whose past four years have reflected the business acumen of a 21-year-old pro athlete, we can only imagine what the riches will lead to for LG – an old fashioned shopping spree! And our sources got their hands on LG’s shopping list:

• 1 extra floor of office space
• 2 executive washrooms for Lockhart and Gardner equipped with “His and Her” Egyptian cotton towels.
• 1 Boca Raton partner retreat for “morale building” purposes
• 5 new partners
• 10 paralegals – incl. 1 minority, 1 female, and 1 minority female
• 1 Bengal tiger (David Lee insisted)
• 1 Topiary garden – marsupials only
• 45 Best Boss Ever mugs
• 45 Swingline staplers (red) – so every partner can have their own
• 1 color printer
• 2 guard dogs – 1 Rottweiler, 1 Bichon Frisé
• 1 box Sharpies
• 1 Sharpei
• 12 Wireless Bluetooth speakers
• 1 Banksy print
• 1 Roomba
• 15 sets of Gordon Gecko suspenders
• 1 underground Zombie apocalypse bunker
• 3 champagne fountains
• 1 pool boy (I mean, how can you not?)
• 5 boxes paper clips