Season 23: Episode 3 - King Arthur Style
Posted on Oct 13, 2013 11:00pm


As the Race moved to Lisbon, Chester & Ephraim’s biggest challenge was simply getting there. Married ER doctors Nicole & Travis won the leg while the former NFL teammates were eliminated hours and hours later at the airport.


Departing the Pit Stop in first place at 6:27pm, former NFL teammates Chester & Ephraim ripped open their clue instructing them to fly to Lisbon, Portugal. When they landed, they had to make their way to Martim Moniz Square and ride a tram to the top of the hill. Usually accustomed to someone else booking travel arrangements in their lives, Chester & Ephraim felt up to the task of finding the best flight on their own. Walking into the travel agency, the former NFL teammates employed the services of a woman who could book them on a flight landing in Lisbon at 7:00am, the earliest possible. When childhood friends Adam & Brandon and married ER doctors Nicole & Travis arrived, Chester & Ephraim still waited for the woman to complete their transaction, but they felt confident knowing they now secured the last seats on the 7:00am flight. However, when Travis announced he and Nicole also booked the 7:00am flight, looks of confusion and concern crossed Chester & Ephraim’s faces. Their worst fears were confirmed when the agent told the former NFL teammates that the seats were no longer available because she entered the wrong travel date into her computer. Now, the best option for Chester & Ephraim (and Adam & Brandon) would get them to Lisbon at 12:00pm, five hours later.


Meanwhile, instead of battling other teams at the travel agency for limited seats, cousins Leo & Jamal gambled by heading straight for the airport where they found a flight through London that would land in Lisbon at 11:00am. When NHL ice crew members Ally & Ashley arrived at the airport, the Afghanimals decided to share this information with their alliance partners and friends who excitedly joined them on the flight. Not wanting to compete directly against Ally & Ashley in case something went wrong on the flight, Leo & Jamal also invited Oklahoman best friends Tim & Danny on board. Although he and Tim initially agreed, soon doubts popped into Danny’s head about Leo & Jamal’s intentions. Correctly guessing that the Afghanimals wanted Tim & Danny on the flight as an insurance policy, Danny said, “They’re just trying to bring us into their little game.” After some more thought, Tim & Danny decided against traveling with Leo & Jamal and now considered the Afghanimals their prime U-Turn target. After breaking away from the Afghanimals, Tim & Danny caught a huge break by finding a flight through Madrid that would get the Oklahomans into Lisbon at 10:00am, an hour ahead of Leo & Jamal and Ally & Ashley.


As teams gathered and mingled near a ticket counter at the airport, suddenly a phone rang with someone calling for Chester & Ephraim. Beyond surprised to receive a call, the former NFL teammates grabbed the receiver to discover the caller’s identity was the woman from the travel agency who made the mistake with their tickets. Even though they left the agency, the woman had continued searching for a better flight to help them out. She called them with a new flight that would land at 7:00am (just like the other one), but this itinerary had two connections instead of one. Although slightly wary at adding a connection, Chester noted, “For a five-hour jump from the rest of the pack, this is a risk you take.” The helpful agent also did her best for childhood friends Adam & Brandon by getting them seats on the same flight as Tim & Danny scheduled to land in Lisbon at 10:00am. Leaving Santiago, the dizzying schedules of the teams ended like this: Chester & Ephraim would land at 7:00am (connecting through Buenos Aires and Madrid), Nicole & Travis would land at 7:00am (connecting through Sao Paulo), Tim & Danny and Brandon & Adam would land at 10:00am (via Madrid), Leo & Jamal and Ally & Ashley at 11:00am (via London), and Jason & Amy, Nicky & Kim, and Tim & Marie at 12:00pm (via Sao Paulo).


In Buenos Aires, as planes stood stationary on the tarmac, Chester & Ephraim made an urgent call to their travel agent friend in Santiago. Their connecting flight to Madrid was delayed four hours meaning they would miss their flight from Madrid to Lisbon. Now the former NFL players scrambled to find a new flight to Madrid that would allow them to make their tight connection. After spending the day on the computer and phone, Chester & Ephraim decided their best course of action was to fly to Sao Paolo and connect to Lisbon from there (hopefully with other teams). However, just as they settled into their seats, the former NFL players couldn’t believe their ears when an attendant announced a delay.


Meanwhile, landing in Sao Paolo, dating couple Jason & Amy and exes Tim & Marie raced to the ticket counter hoping to get on the standby list for the 7:00am flight that Nicole & Travis already had seats on. While the two teams waited patiently for the gate to open an hour before the flight left, Nicky & Kim took a more proactive approach to getting on the list. The baseball wives strolled into an executive lounge and received help from an attendant who called the airline to place their names first on the standby list. When the gate opened, Jason & Amy, Tim & Marie, and Nicky & Kim anxiously stood at the counter in the presumed order they arrived there. When Kim tried to show the agent her confirmation from the executive lounge, Amy snapped, “Can he just finish ours for a second?” Second in line, Marie countered, “There wasn’t an option to be on standby before this. You can’t bump in front of us in line.” The baseball wives denied trying to jump the line insisting again they already were on the standby list. Feeling the tension particularly from Marie, Kim whispered to Nicky, “So awkward.” When the agent handed Nicky & Kim tickets for the 7:00am flight, a furious Marie blurted, “Why are they first? That wasn’t the order!” After Jason & Amy got the last seats on the 7:00am flight leaving Tim & Marie alone on the 12:00pm flight, Marie fumed, informing the baseball wives, “You’re dead to me.” She later added, “The Express Pass is not even an option. They pulled a stunt that I would pull.”


After enduring a two-hour delay in Buenos Aires, Chester & Ephraim landed in Sao Paolo just as exes Tim & Marie boarded the last flight of the day to Lisbon alone. Waiting to deboard the plane, Chester noted, “If we miss this flight, we’re probably going to be in big trouble.” Running through the airport with all the speed the gentle giants could muster, Chester & Ephraim reached the gate too late to make it onto Tim & Marie’s flight. Now faced with arriving in Lisbon half a day behind, Chester groaned, “Approaching the level of crushed right now.” However, as the night wore on, the former NFL teammates wouldn’t give up and found seats on a British Airways flight departing at 3:45am to London and then onto Lisbon. Feeling more optimistic now, Ephraim joked, “Beekman Boys, part two, baby.”


Landing in Lisbon at 7:00am, married ER doctors Nicole & Travis, dating couple Jason & Amy, and baseball wives Nicky & Kim all ran out of the airport into taxis heading to Martim Moniz Square. Reaching the square together, Nicole & Travis and Jason & Amy jumped onto Tram 28 and celebrated as they left Nicky & Kim behind. After winding up the narrow street of colorfully painted houses and buildings, the two teams reached the top of the hill and exited the tram to find a Portuguese band and singer serenading them from the edge of a veranda that offered spectacular views of the city below. The singer handed each team a painting of a carriage that they had to figure out meant that they needed to travel to the Portugal’s National Coach Museum for their next clue. Just as Nicky & Kim boarded a tram at Martim Moniz Square, Nicole & Travis and Jason & Amy arrived together at Museo Nacional Dos Coches to find a Detour having the choice of Tiles or Miles. Tiles required teams to assemble a life sized puzzle using dozens of fragile ceramic pieces. Once they were properly placed, the tile master would hand them their next clue. Miles required teams to use a giant navigation instrument to measure the total distance Magellan sailed to ten destinations. When they were within 500 miles (of 16,500 miles) Magellan himself would hand teams their next clue.


Deciding to work together, the two teams chose to measure the distance of Magellan’s voyage in Miles. After picking up giant navigation instruments and a list of ten destinations, the teams walked to Mapa Mundo, an enormous map of the world at Padrao dos Descobrimentos. First locating the scale of the map to calibrate their instruments, the two teams began measuring distances that began with Seville to the Canary Islands. Continuing on the map past Africa and south to Rio de Janeiro, Travis and Jason moved the instrument with each measurement while Nicole and Amy tabulated the growing number of miles. After passing the Strait of Magellan at the southern tip of South America, the route took them west across the Pacific Ocean where the map ended. However, knowing the earth is round, the teams realized they simply continued measuring on the other side of the map to reach the Mariana Islands and finally end at the Philippine Islands. After a final tally, Amy and Nicole arrived at an answer of 16, 772 miles and nervously presented their guess to Magellan who handed them their clue as the women cheered at their mathematical success. Ripping the clue open, the teams discovered they had to travel to Club Portugues de Tiro a Chumbo.


As best friends Tim & Danny and childhood friends Brandon & Adam touched down in Lisbon, Nicki & Kim ran into the tile factory to begin piecing together their puzzling Detour. Sitting down in front of dozens of ceramic tiles colored in blue and white, the baseball wives began piecing together the picture of their puzzle beginning with the face of a woman. As they continued, Nicky & Kim formed the body of the woman, but they stumbled slightly in trying to correctly match the woman’s intricately drawn dress with many similar looking folds. Eventually, the baseball wives matched every piece, placed them on a cardboard puzzle, and stood their finished product up to receive the tile master’s approval.


Still running tightly together in first place, Jason & Amy and Nicole & Travis arrived at Club Portugues de Tiro a Chumbo to find a Roadblock. In it, teams had to put on a knight’s suit of armor and then, using a giant ballista, they had to hit a shield 150- feet away with an arrow. After putting on heavy chainmail and a shiny, metal helmet, Jason and Travis prepared to battle one another with a ballista as medieval spectators, including a king and queen, anticipated the impending duel. Both men placed their arrows and then cranked the wheel of their ballista to set the proper tension. On Travis’s first shot, he missed the shield by so much he didn’t see where the arrow landed. Meanwhile, Jay’s first shot hit his shield dead on as he cheered, “We got a hit baby!” After receiving the shield, Jason & Amy turned it over and read the clue written on the back instructing them to make their way to the Pit Stop at Castelo dos Mouros, a th 9 Century castle overlooking Sintra.


Although Jason & Amy got a sizable jump on Travis & Nicole before Travis finally hit his shield, the dating couple could feel first place slipping away as they neared Castelo dos Mouros. Seeing a sign that pointed in both directions for the castle, Amy wanted to follow the road going up while Jason told the driver to take the path going down. After circling around and returning to the sign pointing both directions, a frustrated Amy explained to Jason that the arrow pointing up was to a pedestrian path leading to the castle. Seeing his mistake Jason responded, “Oh. Sorry.” Capitalizing on Jason’s mistake, married ER doctors Nicole & Travis ran up the winding ramparts of Castelo dos Mouros and stepped onto the mat in first place to win a trip for two from Travelocity to Costa Rica. In this victory, the married ER doctors felt a sense of redemption after a penalty in the first leg lost them the two Express Passes that went to exes Tim & Marie instead. After finishing the leg in second place with Amy, Jason commented on his costly mistake, “I’ll take the heat.” Once Kim hit her medieval target as Nicki supportively cheered her on, the baseball wives notched their highest finish yet in third place.


Spending the leg battling for fourth and fifth place, Brandon & Adam constructed a ceramic tiled puzzle they dubbed “fancy man” while Tim & Danny measured Magellan’s voyage. Although Tim initially hesitated when they reached the end of the map, Danny reminded his friend that the world is round, so the measuring simply continued on the other side. Adding insult to injury, Tim then announced his guess to Magellan as 1,625 miles, an answer that the explorer promptly rejected. Almost instantly, Tim realized he forgot a zero and resubmitted an answer of 16,250 miles to earn the next clue. To wrap up their leg, Danny hoped to rely on his Native American roots at the Roadblock, but his first shot bounced right off the shield instead. While no sharpshooter, Danny still managed to finish ahead of Adam as Tim & Danny took fourth place and Brandon & Adam snagged fifth. Waiting to board their flight from London to Lisbon, former NFL teammates Chester & Ephraim received more troubling, dispiriting news. Their flight was delayed until 9:15pm. Chester commented, “In the NFL, how hard you worked out, how hard you trained determined how well you played on Sundays, but something like flights and mechanical failures…there’s nothing you can do about it.”


Working together from the moment they landed in Lisbon, Leo & Jamal and Ally & Ashley chose Miles as a confident Jamal guaranteed he would get the correct answer on the first try. However, his assuredness began to crumble when he reached the end of the map he and Jamal measured. Not understanding how to continue measuring to the Mariana Islands on the other side of the map, Jamal wondered, “Do you think he might have gone through the Panama Canal?” [The canal was constructed almost 400 years after Magellan.] Leo later chalked up this mistake to “overthinking.” With guesses of 31,000 miles and 53,500 miles, the two teams clearly reached an impasse and threw in the towel on the task. With all the time wasted by Leo & Jamal and Ally & Ashley, exes Tim & Marie appeared at the ceramic factory as the Afghanimals and the NHL Ice Crew members pieced together their puzzles. Ashley muttered, “I wish we would’ve come here first.” Jamal apologized to Ashley for not choosing this prompting Ashley to reply, “Yeah, don’t listen to the blonde girl.” Ally & Ashley finished their puzzle first, followed closely by Leo & Jamal. However, before leaving, the Afghanimals wanted to plant seeds of doubt in Marie’s head about the difficulty of the task hoping she’s opt to use the Express Pass. When Jamal said he and Leo had been there for two hours, Marie knew he was lying and called the Afghanimals “jerks” when they left with their clue.


While Leo & Jamal and Ally & Ashley finished the leg in sixth and seventh place respectively, Tim & Marie slowly began to wonder if any team was still behind them. The exes behaved in typical fashion at the Detour. Tim would try to help and Marie would yell at him for doing it wrong. The bickering duo briefly considered using their Express Pass, but they ultimately took a gamble by hanging onto it. Of course, Marie eventually took full control in putting the puzzle together, essentially calling into question Tim’s usefulness as a partner. Thankfully, Tim proved his mettle at the Roadblock by hitting the shield on the first shot. When the nervous pair reached the mat at Castelo dos Mouros in eighth place, Phil messed with them, saying, “You are the last team to arrive…except for one.” Marie admitted she was nervous, but added, “If I was scared, I would’ve used the Pass and we all know who’s in control of the Pass.”

ELIMINATED Hours later, well after sunset in Lisbon, Chester & Ephraim finally landed and ran towards the airport exit where they saw Phil patiently waiting. An intuitive Chester noted, “That’s not good.” After Phil officially eliminated the former NFL teammates from the Race, Chester lamented, “The damn flights got us man.” Ephraim said, “I’m sad it’s over, but this was a great experience. It was definitely an adventure.”


Detour: A Detour is a choice between two tasks. In this Detour, teams had to choose between Tiles and Miles. Tiles required teams to assemble a life sized puzzle using dozens of fragile ceramic pieces. Once they were properly placed, the tile master would hand them their next clue. Miles required teams to use a giant navigation instrument to measure the total distance Magellan sailed to ten destinations. When they were within 500 miles (of 16,500 miles) Magellan himself would hand teams their next clue.

Tiles: Nicky & Kim, Brandon & Adam, Leo & Jamal, Ally & Ashley, Tim & Marie
Miles: Jason & Amy, Nicole & Travis, Tim & Danny

Roadblock: A Roadblock is a task that only one team member can perform. In this Roadblock, that team member had to put on a knight’s suit of armor and then, using a giant ballista, had to hit a shield 150-feet away with an arrow.

Performed Roadblock: Travis, Jason, Kim, Danny, Adam, Ally, Jamal, Tim

Order of Finish: 1. Nicole & Travis 2. Jason & Amy 3. Nicky & Kim 4. Tim & Danny 5. Brandon & Adam 6. Leo & Jamal 7. Ally & Ashley 8. Tim & Marie 9. Chester & Ephraim