Season 25: Episode 8 - Hot Sexy Knights
Posted on Nov 21, 2014 11:00pm

On the fortified island of Malta, surfers Adam & Bethany used their Express Pass and came in first. College sweethearts Tim & Te Jay completed their Speed Bump, but too much time at a slippery Detour did them in. WHERE’S MALTA? In sunny Sicily, dentists Misti & Jim ripped the clue first at 6:37 a.m. It told them to travel by ferry to the Mediterranean island nation of Malta. Once there, they had to make their way to The Bridge Bar and pick up trays with a bottle and two wine glasses. They then had to carry the trays waiter-style up Saint Ursula’s Staircase, and present them to the Knights of Malta. In interview, Jim held up four fingers, saying they’d won four legs. “I’m ready for the thumb.” Cyclists Kym & Alli left second, Kym wondering, “Is Malta Spain? Is it Greece? Maybe Malta is its own country.” Food scientists Amy & Maya ripped the clue third. Limping to the ferry, Amy explained that she started a strenuous workout routine before coming on the Race and injured her leg. Wrestlers Brooke & Robbie left just behind them, Brooke mocking Amy’s limp. Surfers Adam & Bethany left fifth, knowing it was the last leg they could use their Express Pass. Adam said, “We’re going to Express our way through.” College sweethearts Tim & Te Jay left last, having been saved by non-elimination on the previous leg. Te Jay said, “Our dynamite may have had a short fuse, but we’re ready to explode and rock on.”

Everyone boarded the ferry together, but cyclists Kym & Alli quickly separated themselves. Brooke wondered, “Why are they so sneaky? My least favorite two people.” She said she wanted to double U-Turn them, and the other teams all seemed to agree. Tim said, “As long as it’s not me, I’m in – duh!” On the other side of the cabin, Kym wondered why the other teams were still hanging out together. In interview, Alli said, “Maybe we just don’t want to talk to you.” Kym added, “Maybe we’re just New Yorkers.” Meanwhile, the other teams came up with code names. The wrestlers were Viper and Sniper. Jim & Misti were Molar and Cuspid, and Amy & Maya were Cookies and Cream. That night the ferry arrived in Malta and teams sprinted for taxis. Surfers Adam & Bethany arrived first at The Bridge Bar. The bartender told them to carry their trays on their fingertips and above their shoulders. If they broke anything, they’d have to return for a broom to clean it up, and then get a replacement item. Adam & Bethany started up Saint Ursula’s Staircase as the other teams arrived. Brooke said, “What is that, like five hundred stairs?”

The other teams collected their trays, but both Jim and Maya barely made it out the door before dropping and breaking their wine glasses. Adam & Bethany, wrestlers Brooke & Robbie, cyclists Kym & Alli, and college sweethearts Tim & Te Jay had somewhat better luck as they made slow progress up Saint Ursula’s Staircase. Adam & Bethany arrived first to the wide stone balcony where the Knights of Malta sat around a table. But at the very last second, Bethany’s glasses fell and broke. She said, “Are you kidding me? Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I just blew that.” The rest of the teams continued up the steps as Adam & Bethany ran back for a broom. At the bar, dentists Misti & Jim started out again with fresh trays. Behind them, Maya broke yet another glass before getting out the door. Adam & Bethany squeezed in and grabbed a broom. As other teams slowly approached the knights, the surfers ran past them and swept up their broken glasses. Tim then dropped a glass, and he and Te Jay returned to the bar. Finally Kym & Alli delivered their trays successfully. Kym high-fived the “hot, sexy knights” and the cyclists ripped their clue in first place. It told them to make their way to the boathouse at Zurrieq Valley Sea Inlet and search for their next clue.

Kym & Alli ran off, with wrestlers Brooke & Robbie delivering their trays and following in second. Back on the street, Amy dropped and broke her glasses. The cyclists jumped in a taxi and told the wrestlers that their driver was calling a second one. But Brooke said, “I don’t believe her. I don’t trust her for a second.” Sure enough, as they drove off Kym said, “Alli, why’d we do that? We should’ve told them no.” Alli then told their driver to cancel the wrestlers’ taxi. Back at Saint Ursula’s Staircase, surfers Adam & Bethany started out again. College sweethearts Tim & Te Jay sprinted back to their broken glass with a broom, while scientists Amy & Maya once again didn’t make it out the door before breaking a glass. Dentists Misti & Jim then delivered their trays successfully and left in third place. Adam & Bethany finished next. Out on the street, wrestlers Brooke & Robbie continued to look for a taxi. Brooke said, “This always happens to us!” Tim & Te Jay delivered their trays and got the clue fifth, but found a taxi before the wrestlers and the surfers. The scientists began once again with their trays, but Maya said, “It’s harder with each attempt. And we’re fatigued.” She paused while walking, causing Amy to bump into her. Amy’s glasses fell and broke. Misti & Jim found a taxi next, and drove right by the furious wrestlers. Then Adam & Bethany found a taxi. Brooke said, “This is unreal. Watch us be in last.” They finally found a taxi and jumped in, Brooke saying, “I cannot believe our entire lead is like, wasted.” At the Zurrieq Valley Sea Inlet, cyclists Kym & Alli arrived and found a small shelf on the outer wall decorated with red candles. There were also hanging Maltese Cross pendants with departure times – three with 7:30 a.m., and three with 7:45. The cyclists chose 7:30. Tim & Te Jay then arrived and saw the departure times. Te Jay said, “No! Can our Speed Bump be here, please?

Back at Saint Ursula’s Staircase, scientists Amy & Maya swept up their latest broken glass. Maya said, “We know what good balance feels like. We’ve just got to do it again.” Dentists Misti & Jim arrived at the overnight hold and grabbed the last 7:30 departure time. Amy & Maya finally delivered the trays on their sixth attempt, and ripped the clue in last place. Adam & Bethany and Brooke & Robbie arrived at the overnight hold and grabbed 7:45 a.m. departure times. Finally the scientists arrived and pulled the last one. Then it was time to camp out – on the concrete dock. Kym said, “Ready to sleep with the rats and the stray cats?” Tim complained about the bugs running around his feet, while Jim said, “Nothing like a quarter-inch of foam between you and concrete.” Morning dawned, and the first group of teams ripped the clue at 7:30 a.m. It was a Roadblock. Phil said that Malta was known for stunning geographical rock formations like the Blue Grotto. Teams had to rappel twenty stories off the side of a cliff, down to where their partner was waiting in a boat. They then had to swim into an adjacent cave and search for their next clue.

Tim, Misti and Alli chose the Roadblock. Teams headed out on boats to the Blue Grotto, Te Jay saying, “Good way to start a morning in Malta.” At 7:45 a.m., Bethany, Amy and Robbie chose the Roadblock. On the boat, Brooke said, “The water is a crazy blue that I’ve never seen in my life. It almost looks fake.” Atop the cliff, both Misti and Alli admitted that they’d never rappelled before. Along with Tim, they started down, Misti taking the lead. After a slow start, Alli began catching up. Te Jay said, “Wait, where’s Tim?” Tim was still near the top. He said in interview that while he wasn’t generally afraid of heights, having to lean back over the edge of the cliff was scary. Misti and Alli reached the bottom. They jumped into the water to search the cave, with Tim now just behind them. Deep in the cave sat a boat illuminated by blue light with clues attached to the side. Alli took over first place as she swam toward it and grabbed a clue. Misti and Tim reached the boat together, both saying they had too many clothes on. Back outside, Brooke watched Alli being hoisted back into her boat. “Ew, of course, as always the cyclists are the first ones to have found their clue…. I’m so over it. I hope our plan works and we get to U-Turn them.”

Tim and Misti slowly paddled back to their boats while the cyclists ripped the clue. It said to make their way to the Church of St. Scholastica, and search for their next clue on the street of Triq Antika. As the first three teams headed back to shore, the second group started rappelling. Bethany took the lead, causing Brooke to say, “Of course Bethany is first. She’s the best swimmer, too.” Adam said he was welling up with pride. Bethany touched down just before Robbie, with Amy a short distance behind. On shore, Phil appeared to announce Kym & Alli’s arrival. Kym called out, “Have fun, Phil!” as they ran for a taxi. In their cab, Te Jay said they were sure their Speed Bump would be at the church. Tim sat beside him, looking exhausted. Back at the Blue Grotto, Bethany dove into the water, grabbed the clue, and quickly returned to the boat. Brooke said, “Bethany is like the Terminator…. Her feet look like a propeller on a boat.” Surprisingly, Amy grabbed the clue second, followed by Robbie. Heading back to shore, Bethany said she felt encouraged by being able to do the Roadblock. Amy finished the task, saying, “Wrestlers maybe just aren’t swimmers.” Brooke derided Robbie: “Amy beat you swimming – how is that possible?”

On the narrow side street of Triq Antika, cyclists Kym & Alli found the clue. It was a Detour, but it said merely, “Flag or Shine” with no description of the tasks. They decided to go to Flag and see what happened. Phil then explained that Gostra is a game that dates back to the Middle Ages. Teams had to run the length of a greasy pole that extended over the water. At the end were two yellow flags, and two red flags further out. One team member had to grab a yellow flag, while the other grabbed a red one. When they had both, they’d receive their next clue. Alli was enthusiastic. “We’ve got this, girl. We have balance.” As if on cue, the man greasing the pole behind them slipped and fell in the water. Misti & Jim and Tim & Te Jay arrived at the waterfront. They spotted Kym & Alli, and headed down to where they were. Meanwhile, Alli teetered to the end of the pole, made a flying leap, and grabbed a yellow flag. Then Kym went, but she fell in the water before grabbing anything. Swimming back to shore, she said, “I hate you for getting the yellow one!” Misti & Jim and Tim & Te Jay arrived and started preparing for the task. But then Tim & Te Jay realized that they never saw a Detour decision point. They ran back to look for it and found Triq Antika – and their Speed Bump. They ripped the clue and discovered they each had to paint the Maltese Cross on a shield. Once their work was approved, they could continue racing. They ran off to find the painting station. Back at Flag, dentists Misti & Jim made a few failed attempts on the greasy pole before realizing that they never ripped a Detour clue. They ran off to find Triq Antika, Misti saying, “At least we know we don’t want to do that Detour.”

Meanwhile, Kym continued to struggle. Her fear of heights made her nervous atop the pole, and she blamed Alli for grabbing the nearer flag. “That wasn’t a good move, dude.” They decided to switch Detours. Adam & Bethany and Amy & Maya arrived. They met up with Misti & Jim, and all three teams found the clue box together. The surfers left for Flag, while the other two left for Shine. Tim & Te Jay found their Speed Bump, and started stenciling the Maltese Cross on their shields. Finally Brooke & Robbie arrived, Brooke complaining, “I’m so sick of being in last.” They ripped the clue and headed to Shine. Phil said that teams would be performing a time-honored technique. They each had to wear a rusty helmet and breastplate and simultaneously polish each other’s armor. When all the pieces were shiny, they’d receive their next clue. Kym & Alli, Misti & Jim, and Brooke & Robbie all arrived. They climbed up ladders to reach their armor, which hung on the wall. Kym said, “This is going to be the longer Detour, for sure.” The armor was clearly uncomfortable. From under her helmet Misti said, “Don’t put so much pressure on my head, please.” But Jim was unsympathetic. “I’m sorry, you’ve just got to deal with it, darling.” At Flag, Adam & Bethany pulled out their Express Pass. Watching a man run up the greasy pole, Bethany said, “That looks nuts. I wish we were doing that!” They ripped the clue, which told them to head to the next Pit Stop – the eighteenth-century Fort Manoel. At the Speed Bump, Tim & Te Jay figured they’d be able to do the Flag Detour. After getting their shields approved, they ripped the Detour clue and headed back to the greasy poles.

Scientists Amy & Maya also arrived at Flag (albeit inadvertently) and decided to try it. Tim made his first attempt, but stopped partway up the pole. “There’s slime on it!” He took one step onto the “slime” and fell in the water. Amy started an attempt, but found she couldn’t run on her injured leg. Te Jay wobbled out to the end of the pole and snagged a yellow flag. Amy tried again, but stopped before even reaching the pole. Maya pressured her to stick with it: “You were just running! We just ran here!” Amy said, “I can run enough for the Race, but I can’t sprint up a log covered in grease.” They decided to switch Detours. At Shine, Brooke said, “This is horrible. My mom used to make me polish our silverware, and it took forever. And it wasn’t rusty.” Misti said they polish teeth every day, but not that aggressively. Jim added, “If you were this rough, you wouldn’t have any patients.” Brooke & Robbie contemplated switching Detours, although Robbie argued that they were ahead of the scientists who’d just showed up. At Flag, Tim failed to grab the red flag and fell in the water. Surfers Adam & Bethany arrived at the Pit Stop and were greeted by Phil and a man holding a hooded Maltese falcon. Phil told them they were team number one, and that they’d each won ten thousand dollars. The greeter added that Adam must be very proud of Bethany.

Back at Shine, Maya hoped the polish they were using had acidic chemicals to help pull off the rust. Jim likened it to polishing a gold crown. Brooke said, “This is one of the worst things I’ve ever done.” Robbie snapped, “Stop being so negative about everything!” He asked if she wanted to switch Detours. She said yes, and they left for Flag. Meanwhile, Misti & Jim finished polishing. They were approved, and ripped the clue in second place. On his tenth attempt, Tim teetered near the end of the greasy pole. Te Jay said, “Pretend the red flag has a million dollars on it!” Nevertheless, Tim fell without grabbing it. Then Brooke & Robbie showed up, Robbie grumbling, “I’m never going to be able to do that.” Te Jay figured they were tied for last place. Brooke wondered, “Where do they come up with these sports?” She tried unsuccessfully for a flag, and hit the water in a seated position. “Oh, my ass! I just broke my butt! That’s my moneymaker.” Robbie pulled off his long, black swim trunks to reveal a much smaller, neon green striped swimsuit. He ran for the flags, but fell spectacularly into the water. “I’m over it.” They returned to Shine, and could only hope Tim & Te Jay didn’t grab the flag.

Back at Shine, Brooke & Robbie put on their armor. Cyclists Kym & Alli got judged but were rejected, as were scientists Amy & Maya. After a little more polishing, Kym & Alli tried again, got approved, and ripped the clue in third place. Misti & Jim arrived at the Pit Stop second, Phil calling them “dentists in shining teeth.” Amy & Maya got judged again, and were approved. They chest-bumped in their clanking armor and left in fourth place. Continuing to polish, Brooke said, “This part of the Amazing Race is not amazing.” Meanwhile at Flag, Tim fell in the water on his twenty-fourth attempt. He told Te Jay, “I know it’s frustrating watching me. It’s frustrating for me times a thousand.” He failed on his next try as well. By then they knew it was too late to switch Detours; if they didn’t get it, their Race was over. But starting his next attempt, Tim said he was shaking. They finally decided to switch. Kym & Alli arrived at the Pit Stop in third place. Kym showed off her arm muscles to the greeter, who said, “You need some lessons from me.” Back at Shine, Brooke & Robbie were rejected by the judges – but then Tim & Te Jay showed up. Brooke said, “I cannot express to you how good this feels.”

Amy & Maya arrived at the Pit Stop in fourth place. Maya was so happy she ran a victory lap around the courtyard. Phil asked if it was a candy rush, and Maya said it was a life rush. “I love life, Phil. I absolutely adore it!” Back at Shine, the wrestlers stepped up again for inspection, Robbie saying the judges’ tans and outfits looked great. They were approved, and they ripped the clue in fifth place. Then they ran out to get a taxi, but found only Tim & Te Jay’s driver, who was waiting with the boys’ bags. As Tim & Te Jay finished polishing, the wrestlers once again ran around looking for a taxi. Brooke said, “Every time, a taxi. I can’t take it anymore. Watch us get last because of this.” They finally found a man to call a taxi for them. Tim & Te Jay got approved just before the wrestlers’ taxi showed up. Both teams jumped into their cabs and headed to the Pit Stop. But it was Brooke & Robbie who arrived first. When they discovered they were in fifth place, Robbie flexed his pecs six times and told Phil, “That extra one was for you.” Finally Tim & Te Jay arrived. Phil told them they were the last team, and that they were eliminated. Te Jay said they’d have amazing stories to share. “And my mom, I’m just hoping she’ll see the craziness that we are as boyfriends, and not as roommates, and accept us as who we really are.”

In this Roadblock, teams had to rappel twenty stories off the side of a cliff into the Blue Grotto. They then had to swim into a nearby cave to retrieve their next clue.

Performed Roadblock: Alli, Misti, Tim, Bethany, Amy, Robbie

DETOUR This Detour was a choice between Flag and Shine. In Flag, teams had to run the length of a greasy pole, which extended over the water and had red and yellow flags posted at the end. Once one team member grabbed a red flag and the other grabbed a yellow one, they’d receive their next clue. For Shine, teams had to put on rusty helmets and breastplates, and simultaneously polish each other’s armor. When they were both shiny, they’d receive their next clue. Flag: Adam/Bethany (used Express Pass) Shine: Misti/Jim, Kym/Alli, Amy/Maya, Brooke/Robbie, Tim/Te Jay

SPEED BUMP In this Speed Bump, Tim & Te Jay had to stencil and paint the Maltese Cross on two shields. Once their work was approved, they could continue racing.

ORDER OF FINISH 1. Adam & Bethany 2. Misti & Jim 3. Kym & Alli 4. Amy & Maya 5. Brooke & Robbie 6. Tim & Te Jay