Season 25: Episode 9 - You're Taking My Tan Off
Posted on Dec 1, 2014 10:30am

In Singapore, the Double U-Turn conspiracy fell apart. A gutsy move for the Fast Forward resulted in victory for surfers Adam & Bethany, but disaster for cyclists Kym & Alli.

On the eighteenth-century military base of Fort Manoel in Malta, surfers Adam & Bethany ripped the clue at 9:25 p.m. It told them to fly a quarter of the way around the globe to Singapore. Once there, they had to catch a ferry to Pulau Ubin Island, then run a mile into the jungle. When they found a marked coconut stand and drank the juice of a coconut, they’d receive their next clue. It also warned of a Double U-Turn ahead. Adam & Bethany said they were still planning on U-Turning cyclists Kym & Alli. “Just to make it to the final, someone’s got to go.” Heading to the travel agency, they read that tickets had been reserved for them from Malta to Paris, but they were responsible for booking their remaining flights. They could also book more advantageous flights if they found them. At the travel agency they asked for the first flight from Paris to Singapore, and were told it landed at 6:40 a.m. Bethany said, “I can’t imagine another flight arriving earlier.” They booked it. Dentists Misti & Jim left the Pit Stop second. It was the last leg they could use their Save pass, so they were comfortable knowing they weren’t going home. They said they had an alliance with Adam & Bethany, wrestlers Brooke & Robbie, and scientists Amy & Maya to Double U-Turn cyclists Kym & Alli. When they arrived at the travel agency, Adam & Bethany told them about the 6:40 flight. Jim said they wanted the same thing.

Kym & Alli left the Pit Stop third, knowing they had to amp up their game because there was a good chance they’d be U-Turned. They arrived at the travel agency, where the dentists and surfers greeted them with fake smiles. The cyclists asked for the earliest flight into Singapore, and the travel agent told them about a flight through Rome that arrived at 6:00 a.m. Jim pointed out that they had to take the pre-booked flight from Malta to Paris, and then paused. “Oh, maybe not.” Bethany seemed befuddled. “You really don’t have to take that flight? I didn’t think about that.” Jim whispered furiously, “I thought you checked all this out. This is ridiculous!” Jim explained in interview that once you booked a flight you couldn’t switch, even if you found a better one. After the dentists and surfers left, the cyclists did a dance of joy. Kym said, “It’s not even like we can get them eliminated. I don’t know what he’s freaking out about.” On the street, Jim said, “This throws a major monkey wrench into the plans to U-Turn them.” Adam added, “That was like, a game-changer.” Scientists Amy & Maya arrived at the travel agency next. Kym & Alli decided to tell them about the earlier flight, wanting to get a weaker team in the front with them. The scientists appreciated the tip, but said in interview, “We definitely want to get the cyclists out if we can, because they’re so strong. But we’ll get out whoever we can.” Wrestlers Brooke & Robbie arrived last, and asked if the other four teams were traveling together. When the agent said no, they said they wanted the earlier flight. Brooke added, “Who would not ask that at this point?” All teams took off on their respective flights to Singapore.

In the bustling metropolis of Singapore, the first three teams arrived at dawn and jumped into taxis to the ferry. Brooke said she was disappointed. “I came up with the whole conspiracy U-Turn against the cyclists. So now there’s a slim chance to get two of us to the board before they got there.” The three teams boarded the same ferry and pushed off. As they marveled at the sunrise over the water, they also spotted a plane descending. They laughed and waved, thinking it might be the other teams. The boat docked, and everyone took off running. Brooke said, “I feel like Forrest Gump when he runs for like, three years.” They arrived at the coconut stand, and after the vendor hacked open coconuts with a machete, they chugged the juice through straws. Kym & Alli ripped the clue first and discovered a Fast Forward. It told them to make their way to the Wavehouse, where they had to ride an artificial wave for two minutes. If they succeeded, they’d win the Fast Forward. But Alli said she didn’t want to do it. Brooke & Robbie ripped the remaining clue, which told them to go to the Marina Bay Sands Hotel and search the observation deck. Since the other teams had no interest in the Fast Forward, Kym began pushing Alli to do it. She said the back teams probably wouldn’t attempt it either, knowing that people had a lead on them. Since the cyclists would never see the U-Turn, Amy & Maya and Brooke & Robbie agreed to U-Turn surfers Adam & Bethany. As they walked off behind the cyclists, Brooke grumbled, “I just don’t like teaming up with them. I want them gone.”

On the boat back to the mainland, the three teams passed the surfers and the dentists going the opposite direction. As the latter teams ran for the coconut stand, Kym & Alli jumped in a taxi to the Wavehouse. En route to the Marina Bay Sands Hotel, Amy & Maya said they hoped two teams would compete for the Fast Forward, since one would then have to go back and complete the course. Misti & Jim and Adam & Bethany drank their coconuts and got their clues. Neither chose to do the Fast Forward, and they headed back to the boats. At the Marina Bay Sands Hotel, Amy & Maya headed up to the fifty-seventh floor, with Brooke & Robbie a short distance behind. On the observation deck, they ripped the clue. It was a Roadblock, which asked, “Who wants to be a funambulist?” Maya took it. For the task, teams had to walk a high wire between two of the hotel’s towers, six hundred feet above the ground. Once they got to the far side, they had to pick up their clue and then walk back to the starting point. Brooke chose the Roadblock as well. In their taxi, Alli looked up Wavehouse on the internet and discovered there was surfing there. She said, “I’m starting not to feel good about this Fast Forward.” But Kym told her to stay positive. Back on the second boat, surfers Adam & Bethany looked at the Fast Forward – and saw the Wavehouse. Bethany said, “If we weren’t in last, we’d go straight to the Fast Forward. I know how to do those like, good.” Misti was certain that Kym & Alli had gone for it. “They’re smart racers, they would’ve done it.” In the taxi, Kym & Alli began to worry that Adam & Bethany might go for it also.

At the Roadblock, Maya started out on the tightrope, walking along one rope and holding onto another over her head. With no fear of heights, she simply enjoyed the experience. “I love the Amazing Race!” Phil was on-site to announce that Amy & Maya were now racing Kym & Alli to the Pit Stop. Waiting her turn, Brooke said, “I secretly want her to fall so that we’re first.” She then proceeded to make blowfishes on the plate glass window. Maya reached the far side, got her clue, and started back. Brooke said, “If I fall and she doesn’t, I’m going to be really embarrassed because she makes ice cream for a living, and I kick girls in the face for a living.” Maya finished the task, and the scientists ripped the clue in first place. It told them to make their way to the Center Square Raffles Place and search for their next clue. They took off as Brooke started the task. She was clearly nervous, but Robbie said it was just like walking the ropes in wrestling. Surfers Adam & Bethany headed for the Fast Forward, but knew it was a risk since they were in last place. In another taxi, Jim said, “I think they made the right decision, but I hope it’s the wrong decision.” Cyclists Kym & Alli arrived at the Wavehouse and got on their boards. Although the surfers believed other teams would struggle with it, Bethany said, “We could be committing Race suicide if we go there and someone’s already done it.”

Kym & Alli began their first attempt. Alli said the board was the size of a skateboard, so it was hard to balance. Sure enough, after nineteen seconds she fell. She said it would take a few tries to get her balance, but she was feeling more confident. Back at the Roadblock, Brooke made her way across the tightrope. “I just could not be beat out by a scientist. How would a scientist beat out a pro wrestler? It just doesn’t happen.” She got her clue, started back, and finished the task. At the Wavehouse, Kym & Alli began their second attempt. But then Adam & Bethany pulled up in their taxi. They walked around looking for the wave pool as the cyclists wobbled on their boards. The surfers found the pool, and Kym & Alli were clearly dismayed to see them. At just over a minute on the boards, Alli fell, followed by Kym. Then the surfers stepped forward, Adam shouting, “Let’s do this thing!”

Scientists Amy & Maya arrived at the Center Square Raffles Place and spotted a man with a red and yellow placard strapped to his back. They ran up, got the clue, and ripped it in first place. It was a Detour: China Cups or Chili Crabs. China Cups required teams to get a deep tissue massage, skin exfoliation, and suction created by fire and glass cups. When the therapist felt enough toxins had been removed, they’d receive their next clue. Chili Crabs required teams to crack open crabs smothered in chili sauce until they’d accumulated two pounds of crabmeat. Amy & Maya chose China Cups. Meanwhile, wrestlers Brooke & Robbie arrived. They spotted the scientists and asked where the clue was. Amy & Maya said it was in the square, and then jumped in their taxi. The wrestlers were miffed that the girls weren’t more forthcoming with information. They then wandered around the square, complaining that they were wasting time – and walked straight past the man with the clue.

At the Marina Bay Sands Hotel, Jim began the Roadblock. But halfway across, he slipped off the rope and was suddenly dangling six hundred feet above the ground. At the Fast Forward, cyclists Kym & Alli faced their “worst case scenario” as Adam & Bethany began their attempt. Kym said, “If they get it, we’re probably eliminated today.” Bethany was solid, but Adam wobbled and finally fell. At the Roadblock, Jim got reeled back to the start, and had to begin the task all over again. He said he had to balance a lot of his weight on the top rope. “My arms and shoulders and hands were just getting beaten to death.” But he reached the far side, got the clue, and slowly made his way back to the start. Amy & Maya arrived at the temple for China Cups, excited to get a relaxing massage. But as the therapists got to work, things quickly became painful. Maya shouted, “I know it’s a knot! You don’t have to get it out!” causing the therapists to laugh. Amy bit down on her towel while Maya moaned, “We haven’t even started cupping yet!” At Raffles Place, wrestlers Brooke & Robbie continued to walk past the man with the placard. Finally Brooke noticed him, and they ripped the clue in second place. But they were still ticked off at the scientists for being so vague. Brooke added, “At the end, my claws are a lot bigger.” Robbie added, “You don’t mess with pro wrestlers.” They headed to China Cups.

At the Fast Forward, Kym & Alli took their next practice run, and Bethany commented that Alli had it down. Adam said his legs were tired from running. The cyclists began their actual attempt, and Adam worried, “What if they’re going to crush this thing right now?” But after fifteen seconds, Kym fell. The cyclists weren’t discouraged though, since they believed the board was too small for Adam to keep his balance. The surfers started their next attempt, but this time Adam was more solid. Halfway through the run, Alli said, “We just lost it. They’re going to get it, let’s go.” The cyclists got dressed as the clock counted down, Alli crying and saying, “I didn’t want to do this.” The clock hit zero, and the surfers won the Fast Forward. Alli said, “I didn’t want to do this at all.” Kym snapped back, “Go run the rest of the Race by yourself if you want to call this all my fault!” Meanwhile, Adam & Bethany ripped the clue for the Pit Stop – the floating dome of Fullerton Pavilion. Kym & Alli jumped back in their taxi to head to the Roadblock. Kym said, “We’re too strong of a team to go out like this.” Dentists Misti & Jim got the clue at Raffles Place, and chose Chili Crabs. Then Adam & Bethany arrived at the Pit Stop. Phil told them they were team number one, and that they’d won a trip to Bali. They were thrilled that “the gamble of the century” had paid off, Adam yelling, “Cowabunga!”

Back at China Cups, the torture of the scientists continued. Brooke & Robbie arrived, Brooke saying, “I love a free massage.” Then the skin exfoliation began for Amy & Maya. Maya cried, “They’re skinning our backs right now!” They continued to scream and moan, causing the amused therapists to say, “The foreigners have a low pain tolerance. She couldn’t even handle it when we used our hands.” Brooke rubbed it in, commenting on how good the massage felt, and giving an evil laugh as the scientists screeched in pain. But when the wrestlers started getting the exfoliation, they quickly changed their tune. Robbie admitted, “All right, this does hurt.” Brooke added, “You’re taking my tan off!” Then the cupping began for the scientists, Maya’s shouts rising a note with each cup applied. Misti & Jim arrived at Chili Crabs, and were presented with large bowls of the namesake dish. Crashing cymbals and a squealing flute accompanied the dentists as they picked through the steaming crabs. They had to set them out on the table to cool before they could even handle them. To the delight of the crowd, Jim pulled out his own whistle to accompany the high-pitched flute. Cyclists Kym & Alli arrived at the Roadblock, and Kym started across the tightrope. At China Cups, Amy & Maya and Brooke & Robbie quieted down enough to discuss the U-Turn. They agreed that one of them had to U-Turn the surfers while the other U-Turned the cyclists, since both teams could be at the Fast Forward. Then the cupping started for the wrestlers, causing Robbie to comment sarcastically, “This doesn’t feel painful at all.” The ordeal finally ended for Amy & Maya, and they ripped the clue in second place. It told them to go to Fort Canning Park and search for their next clue.

Despite her fear of heights, Kym powered through the Roadblock. “It was my fault we were in the back of the pack, so I wanted to blast through that for Alli.” At Fort Canning Park, Amy & Maya found the U-Turn, and they used it on the surfers. Then they ripped the clue. Phil explained that the Merlion – a mythical creature with a lion’s head and a fish’s body – is a national symbol of Singapore. Teams had to locate five different Merlion monuments around the city, and find the one with their next clue. Amy & Maya ran off, confident that Brooke & Robbie would U-Turn the cyclists. At China Cups, the wrestlers finished and got their clue in third place. Robbie ran out the door, his back covered in red welts. At Chili Crabs, dentists Misti & Jim weighed what they had, but it only came out to one pound. They continued pulling apart crabs. Meanwhile, Kym & Alli arrived at Raffles Place. They got the clue from the man with the placard and chose China Cups. Wrestlers Brooke & Robbie arrived at the U-Turn and saw that Amy & Maya had U-Turned Adam & Bethany. Then, despite their agreement, they decided not to U-Turn anyone. They ripped the clue in third place and ran off, figuring that even if the surfers won the Fast Forward, the cyclists would be very far behind. At Chili Crabs Misti & Jim got weighed again, and this time they had the requisite two pounds of crabmeat. They left the task in fourth place.

Kym & Alli arrived at China Cups and began moaning their way through the massage. Although they knew they had to power through it, Kym said, “I have a feeling this isn’t even the worst of it.” The scientists and the wrestlers ran into each other at Merlion Park. Maya asked Brooke & Robbie if they U-Turned the cyclists, but they said no. Amy & Maya were appalled. After failing to find the clue, Maya told them to go back and U-Turn Kym & Alli. Running off, Robbie wondered if they should. Brooke said, “No, they wouldn’t either. I really don’t care that we pissed off the Candy Girls.” Robbie added, “What are they going to do, throw ice cream at us?” Returning to their own taxi, the scientists were in disbelief. Amy grumbled, “They’re such idiots.” Misti & Jim arrived at the U-Turn, but chose not to use it. “Adam & Bethany – they’re done.” While suffering through China Cups, Kym said, “Our motto is nonstop. There’s no way in hell we’re going to be eliminated.” At Mount Faber Park, Brooke & Robbie found the second Merlion – and the clue for the Pit Stop. As they returned to their taxi, Amy & Maya pulled up. Maya asked if they found the clue, but Brooke said no. The scientists kept driving. Brooke said, “I don’t want to tell them, for their attitude and how they were.” Driving off, Amy wondered if the wrestlers would’ve lied. But Maya said, “I trust them.” Robbie said that the scientists would have to then go around to each park again. “So they could end up being last…. I can’t believe we freakin’ did that.” Then they burst out laughing.

Misti & Jim had no luck at Merlion Park, so they headed to Mount Faber. Meanwhile, Kym & Alli finished China Cups. Brooke & Robbie arrived at the Pit Stop, and cheered when they learned they were second. They said they were ready to win by any means necessary. Amy & Maya arrived at the next Merlion location, but of course found no clue. Then Misti & Jim arrived at Mount Faber Park. They found the clue, and left for the Pit Stop in third place. Kym & Alli arrived at the U-Turn, and discovered that they’d been spared. They ran back to their taxi, thinking that everyone would go to the closest Merlion location first. They decided to take a risk and head to the more distant Mount Faber. At the fifth Merlion location, Amy & Maya found nothing and finally realized that Brooke & Robbie had lied to them. Heading back to Mount Faber, even their taxi driver said, “You can’t trust everybody.” Misti & Jim arrived at the Pit Stop in third place, still holding onto their Save pass. Jim said, “It’s going home with me.” Pulling into Mount Faber, Kym said, “This is pretty much a gamble. We either do this or we’re out of the Race.” Amy & Maya got there first, however, and ripped the clue in fourth place. They headed to the Pit Stop, hoping they weren’t eliminated. Then the cyclists ripped the clue and ran back to their taxi, Kym saying, “We might have a fighting chance.” The two teams raced for the Pit Stop, but the scientists arrived first. Maya said, “There’s my lovely Phil!” She added, “The wrestlers didn’t get us out of the Race. If that was their goal, they didn’t do it.” Kym & Alli came in last, and Phil told them they were eliminated. In a teary interview, Kym said, “We knew that we could make it all the way to the last leg…. We felt it.” Alli added, “But we made a bold choice, and we’re not there.”

ROADBLOCK In this Roadblock, teams had to walk a tightrope six hundred feet in the air between the towers of the Marina Bay Sands Hotel. When they made their way across, received their clue and walked back, they could continue racing. Performed Roadblock: Maya, Brooke, Jim, Kym

DETOUR This Detour was a choice between China Cups and Chili Crabs. For China Cups, teams had to get a deep tissue massage, skin exfoliation, and suction created by glass cups and fire. When the therapist felt enough toxins had been removed, teams would get their next clue. In Chili Crabs, teams had to crack open steaming hot crabs and collect two pounds of meat.
China Cups: Amy/Maya, Brooke/Robbie, Kym/Alli
Chili Crabs: Misti/Jim

FAST FORWARD Teams had to travel to the Wavehouse and surf an artificial wave. If both members could stay on their boards for two minutes, they’d win the Fast Forward. Won Fast Forward: Adam/Bethany
DOUBLE U-TURN: Amy/Maya U-Turned Adam/Bethany (who’d won the Fast Forward)
ORDER OF FINISH: 1. Adam & Bethany 2. Brooke & Robbie 3. Misti & Jim 4. Amy & Maya 5. Kym & Alli