8 Vivid Word Pictures Of Sheldon Cooper, As Told By Sheldon Cooper

Sheldon Cooper is a man of many faces.

Sheldon Cooper is a man of many faces.

Sheldon is truly unique, and the combination of his inventive mind and sometimes outlandish quirks set him apart from the pack—and, while nothing quite compares to him, this theoretical physicist somehow finds a way to juxtapose himself next to nearly everything, from a bowl of soup to a raging bull. 

Click through to see some of Sheldon's best comparisons, but be warned: you may never look at this smart cookie the same way again! 

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"When you mess with the bull, you get the horns. I'm about to show this guy how horny I can be."

Why it's apropos: Much like a bull, Sheldon has been known to have a short fuse, especially when it comes to defending his honor. Here's a small piece of advice: If you don't want to find yourself up-close with Sheldon's horns, don't discredit one of his research papers! 

"The Troll Manifestation" (Episode 14, Season 8)

"Sheldon's like a baby deer. You gotta let him come to you."

Why it's apropos: Much like a doe, Sheldon doesn't always know how to navigate through this wide-open pasture we call life. (But, heck, who does?) Sure, he's a brilliant physicist who knows which compounds work best together, but that doesn't mean he has his own life completely figured out, as noted by his mother with the above fawn-y comparison.

Whether it's overcoming his fears of public speaking or learning to play nicely with others, Sheldon occasionally needs to be lured out of his comfort zone and introduced to bigger—and sometimes scarier—things... you know, like apologizing to people and learning how to be a better boyfriend.

"The Luminous Fish Effect" (Episode 4, Season 1)

"I'm warm and soothing. I'm like a human bowl of tomato soup."

Why it's apropos: Sheldon might be the only person who has ever used the words "warm and soothing" to describe, well, Sheldon. While his humor can be dry as a salty cracker and his honesty blunt like the rounded edge of a spoon, our beloved Shelly certainly has his heartfelt moments. 

Remember when he sweetly sang "Soft Kitty" to Penny when she was sick? Or the time when he comforted Howard after his mother passed? Though the instances are few in number, the times Sheldon has shown compassion to his friends are as special as any bowl of lycopene-filled soup.

"The Intimacy Acceleration" (Episode 16, Season 8)

"Look at my arms flailing. I'm like a flamingo on Ritalin."

Why it's apropos: Both slightly pink in color, Sheldon and flamingos are an unlikely, yet oddly suitable, pair. For example, they both stand tall, proud, and occasionally squawk at passersby. Plus, the fact that they both look hilarious while losing their balance is merely an added bonus.

"The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization" (Episode 9, Season 1)

"Please look at this porcelain skin. I'm like a human sink."

Why it's apropos: What are three things Sheldon seems to have in common with a porcelain sink? They're both silky, shiny, and sans pores.

What's the biggest difference, though? Sheldon would never let anyone put their dirty paws on his basin. 

"The Celebration Experimentation" (Episode 17, Season 9)

"I think of my time with Amy as a stick of Fruit Stripe gum. Sweet and enjoyable at first, but ultimately a flavorless lump of sadness."

Why it's apropos: Let's contextualize this quote a bit. When Sheldon compared his love life with a wad of flavorless gum, he was in the midst of excruciating heartbreak and, at the time, everything seemed dreary and unappetizing. 

In a way, this comparison isn't too far off for life and relationships, in general, because there will always be exciting adventures followed by mundane, day-to-day tasks; but, it's the wonderful moments and memories that make all the "lumps" in the road completely worth it. 

Savor the sweetness, Sheldon!

"The Mystery Date Observation" (Episode 8, Season 9)

"I have the soulful eyes of a cow."

Why it's apropos: Why, what moooo-velous eyes you have, Mr. Cooper! 

Sheldon's big eyes are somehow both brooding and comforting at the same time. Much like a cow, this former child prodigy doesn't seem like a warm, inviting creature on the outside. However, take one long look into those peepers, and you'll see a wise and gentle soul. 

"The Mystery Date Observation" (Episode 8, Season 9)

"Like the proverbial cheese, I stand alone. Even while seated."

Why it's apropos: Sheldon enjoys his alone time, which gives him a welcome opportunity to revel in his own creativity and wisdom. And, much like a cheese, his flavorful knowledge and striking good looks just get better with age. 

"The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation" (Episode 1, Season 3)

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