It's All About The Most Quotable Lines From The Big Bang Theory, Season 9

"What good is having a girlfriend if you can't unload your psychological sewage on her?" –Sheldon Cooper

Ah, the sweet smell of young love. Who needs flowers when you can bestow some good ol' psychological sewage?

"The Solder Excursion Diversion" (Episode 19, Season 9 of The Big Bang Theory)

"No one ever bought me drinks at a bar because my brain popped out of my shirt." –Penny

Because nothing attracts a guy quite like an exposed cerebral cortex.

"The Mystery Date Observation" (Episode 8, Season 9 of The Big Bang Theory)

"No, I just blink a lot; it's not Morse code for 'rescue me'." –Amy Farrah Fowler

If you have to specify, perhaps we should suggest some eye drops.

"The Valentino Submergence" (Episode 15, Season 9 of The Big Bang Theory)

"Thankfully, all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand." –Sheldon Cooper

For as smart as he is, Sheldon doesn't always think before he speaks.

"The Separation Oscillation" (Episode 2, Season 9 of The Big Bang Theory)

"Soup, sandwiches, and emasculation. Just like my mom used to make." –Leonard Hofstatder

Ah, nostalgia. Good or bad, it always knows how to hit you right in the feels.

"The Solder Excursion Diversion" (Episode 19, Season 9 of The Big Bang Theory)

"All right, if you are going to calmly make excellent points, then I don't know if I want to talk to you." –Howard Wolowitz

Marriage is hard. You have to compromise on big decisions, help each other clean the house, and, sometimes, you even have to listen to reason!

"The Application Deterioration" (Episode 18, Season 9 of The Big Bang Theory)

"You know the golden rule of line etiquette: no cuts, no butts, no coconuts." –Sheldon Cooper

'Nuff said.

"The Line Substitution Solution" (Episode 23, Season 9 of The Big Bang Theory)

"I've always wanted a wedding with a comment section." –Penny

#WeddingGoals

"The Matrimonial Momentum" (Episode 1, Season 9 of The Big Bang Theory)

"You're letting a man into your room. That's intimate. That's where your panties live." –Bernadette

That might not be entirely true, Bernadette. Remember Amy's Little House On The Prairie fan fiction? That's a lot more intimate than her undies.

"The Earworm Reverberation" (Episode 10, Season 9 of The Big Bang Theory)

"Then it's settled. Amy's birthday present will be my genitals." –Sheldon Cooper

Sheldon sure knows how to make a girl melt.

"The Opening Night Excitation" (Episode 11, Season 9 of The Big Bang Theory)

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but sticks on chairs are comfy." –Raj Koothrappali

We'll take your word for it, Raj.

"The Line Substitution Solution" (Episode 23, Season 9 of The Big Bang Theory)

"I'm telling you, I'm not on drugs. The government is out to get me!" –Howard Wolowitz

ProTip: Avoid discussing government conspiracies with an officer after you've been pulled over for erratic driving. It will not get you out of a ticket.

"The Convergence Convergence" (Episode 24, Season 9 of The Big Bang Theory)

"I shouldn't be raising a kid. I don't even eat my own vegetables!" –Howard Wolowitz

It's never too late to start, Howard. Might we suggest a nice lemon-garlic kale salad?

"The Positive Negative Reaction" (Episode 16, Season 9 of The Big Bang Theory)

"Let's get me waxed!" –Amy Farrah Fowler

While a bikini wax doesn't top everyone's must-have gift list, we understand why Amy would want to pull out all the stops—and follicles—before celebrating her birthday with Sheldon.

No pain, no gain. Right, Amy? 

"The Opening Night Excitation" (Episode 11, Season 9 of The Big Bang Theory)

"Excuse me. No one does a better job pretending to be a person than I do. Siri comes close, but I know more jokes." –Sheldon Cooper

It's true. This is one theoretical physicist who knows how to make people laugh.

"The Mystery Date Observation" (Episode 8, Season 9 of The Big Bang Theory)