Season 5
Episode Guide
Stayin' Alive!
S5
E1
Mar 26, 2014
After Alex Trebek introduces the episode, the women are held hostage by Chester, Lily and a Mrs. Ladypants-loving plastic surgeon.
Surprise!
S5
E2
Apr 2, 2014
Following Emmet's escape from prison, Victoria is under close watch by an FBI agent, and Alec's new girlfriend questions Melanie's pregnancy.
Dr. Who?
S5
E3
Apr 9, 2014
As Joy, Owen and Simon lie about their family history to get Wilbur admitted into a prestigious preschool, Elka helps Melanie find a doctor to treat her brain tumor.
The Undead
S5
E4
Apr 16, 2014
Discovering that Emmet faked his own death, Victoria decides to follow suit to be with him, as Simon rethinks his career, and Melanie dates a guy who doesn't spoon correctly.
Elka Takes a Lover
S5
E5
Apr 23, 2014
Victoria is shocked when her daughter Emmy shows up very pregnant, Bob tells his parents he's engaged to Joy, Melanie's dentist is misled by texts, and Elka has a fling.
Rusty Banks Rides Again
S5
E6
Apr 30, 2014
Determined to secure Oscar nomination votes, Victoria has the women target a former heartthrob, a young actress and an old-time Western star.
The One With George Clooney
S5
E7
May 7, 2014
With their hearts set on an adorable dog, Melanie, Victoria and Joy are scammed by a handsome young rescue center inspector, as Elka and Mamie Sue simultaneously date Roy.
Brokeback Elka
S5
E8
May 14, 2014
Melanie capitalizes on her brain tumor to meet a singer, Joy sleeps with a tell-all DJ, and Victoria has an online romance that isn't what it seems.
Bad George Clooney
S5
E9
Jun 4, 2014
When their dog George acts depressed, the women bring in an animal-communicating radio host, who advises them to remove the negativity in their household.
Bucket: We're Going to New York
S5
E10
Jun 11, 2014
In New York, the women stay with Victoria's acting school roommate, Melanie lives in the moment, Joy wants to be a Rockette, and Elka hawks her polish.
Undercover Lovers
S5
E11
Jun 18, 2014
Joy falls for Bob while working undercover with him, Melanie hosts a 24-hour marathon of her radio show, and Elka decides to run against Councilman Powell.
I Just Met the Man I'm Going to Marry
S5
E12
Jun 25, 2014
Joy is jealous that her new boss Mitch has eyes for Melanie, Elka strategizes with her campaign manager, and Victoria awaits her possible Oscar nomination.
People Feeding People
S5
E13
Jul 2, 2014
Victoria, Joy and Elka each have their own reasons in imploring Melanie to date a billionaire newspaper publisher, who confides in her a disturbing secret.
Murder House
S5
E14
Jul 5, 2014
During a thunderstorm, Victoria is stuck with a beach bum, Melanie is irritated by her friend, Joy objects to her mother's fiance, and Elka fears a ghost.
Playmates
S5
E15
Jul 9, 2014
When Elka produces a play about the women, Melanie, Joy and Victoria are livid over how they're portrayed, then meet with their actor counterparts to set them straight.
Auction Heroes
S5
E16
Jul 16, 2014
A dating consultant sabotages Mitch's chances with Joy, Victoria spends time with down-to-earth filmmaker J.J., and Elka has a campaign fundraiser.
Straight Outta Cleveland
S5
E17
Jul 23, 2014
Joy and Mitch preemptively see a couples' therapist, and Victoria's son Tony doesn't know how to come out of the closet to her as straight.
The Animated Episode
S5
E18
Jul 30, 2014
Realizing they've never been in Elka's house, Melanie, Joy and Victoria enter it, then find it's a portal to an animated universe and are granted three wishes by Steven Tyler.
Strange Bedfellows
S5
E19
Aug 6, 2014
As Victoria and J.J. figure out when to sleep together for the first time, Joy moderates a debate between Elka and Councilman Powell, which turns into a vodka shot contest.
The Italian Job
S5
E20
Aug 13, 2014
Melanie is paired with offensively macho radio cohost Frankie, Joy and Elka fail their final exams, and J.J.'s children find Victoria reminiscent of their late mother.
Mystery Date: Oscar Edition
S5
E21
Aug 20, 2014
With the Academy Awards three weeks away, Victoria asks Elka to draft her Oscar acceptance speech, and Melanie and Joy fiercely compete to be Victoria's plus one.
Win Win
S5
E22
Aug 27, 2014
Melanie fights with her mother, Elka uses any tactic she can to get elected, Victoria skips attending the Oscars in case she loses, and Joy has a wardrobe malfunction.
Don Elka
S5
E23
Sep 3, 2014
Simon returns and covertly tries to win Joy back, Victoria looks forward to receiving her Oscar statue, and Councilwoman Elka takes on a Godfather persona.
The Bachelors
S5
E24
Sep 10, 2014
On their shared birthday, Joy receives three proposals, Victoria's date has two noses, Melanie's has a sex surrogate, and Elka's is very surprising.