"Hello? Anybody home? Do I need a secret password or something? "
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo makes a grand entrance into the NCIS: Los Angeles world by video intercom system.
Agent DiNozzo Dishes It Out On NCIS: Los Angeles
"So this is the secret lair of the West Coast Avengers."
Coming from D.C., DiNozzo is a bit surprised to see a hulking Sam towering over Hetty, Nell in a cape, Kensi in fight gear, and Deeks dressed like Bruce Lee.
"Nice to meet you Uma."
Already sensing some tension, DiNozzo couldn't help but comment on Deeks' interesting getup.
"Of course, what's a bat cave without a tunnel?"
Hetty doesn't find DiNozzo's comments or behavior funny, but that doesn't stop him from joking about her office when he gets a bit turned around and has to be told which direction to go.
"Wow, this is very Lost Boys. It's more the Peter Pan variety than the two Cory's with the vampires. Do you guys have a treehouse?"
While Kensi, Sam, Callen and Deeks take their interrogation techniques and locations seriously, DiNozzo clearly finds the venue pretty funny and quips about them using a secret boat house to interview a suspect.
"I just get the feeling that you have a flair for role playing."
When deciding how they're going to handle interrogating Rio, DiNozzo suggests that Sam will play the bad cop given his undercover history.
"Ten years? Wow. I was going to say eight. I did say eight. Can you imagine ten years without pilates, Prada or botox?"
No one is safe from DiNozzo's sarcastic comments, not even a suspect's attorney. Here, he tries to put things in perspective for Rio's perfectly put together lawyer, Sarah Taylor. If she aids in her client's fraud she could face up to 10 years in jail.
"Tom Ford said, 'Dressing well is a form of good manners.'
DiNozzo knows the best way to get under Deeks' skin: by flirting with and showing off to Kensi.
"She reminds me of a badger."
She might be little in stature, but even DiNozzo is terrified of Hetty.
"Okay, don't get your wig in a mess."
DiNozzo's presence in Los Angeles caused some tension for Deeks and Kensi and they had an awkward exchange that, of course, DiNozzo sees as an opportunity to take a shot.
"From a folk band?"
When Deeks attempted to stand up for himself and his detective capabilities by pointing out that he was personally recruited by Hetty, DiNozzo quipped he looked more like a recruit from a folk band than a crime fighting force.
"I believed it's pronounced chick. Surf Chick."
Just when you though DiNozzo couldn't have any more jabs for Deeks, he explains why he doesn't think Deeks' fashion is "chic."
"You couldn't infiltrate community theater."
DiNozzo offers his review of Deeks' undercover (i.e., acting) skills.