Shots Fired: The Greatest Sam-Callen Banter On NCIS: Los Angeles

Sam: "Banter is the crux of our partnership, G. Without it, we’d just be two guys with guns drifting from one case to the next."

Barely two years into their partnership on NCIS: Los Angeles, Sam Hanna's observation to G. Callen turned out to be prophetic. They're equally capable of brandishing their wit as their weapons! Enjoy these quintessential moments from one of the best duos on television. 

Callen: What, you have history with him?
Sam: We weren’t dating if that’s what you’re asking. SEALs work together as a team. Holgate had the tendency to act like a lone wolf, if you know what I'm talking about.
Callen: Actually, half the time I don’t know what you’re talking about. And the rest of the time, I just disagree.
Sam: I really look forward to having Dom as a partner.
Callen: You'd miss me. I complete you!

Sam: So you think Hetty was born or made?
Callen: Hatched.
Sam: My point is we complement each other. But, I’m natural.
Callen: I'm natural, and you're made.
Sam: I'm the natural operator.
Callen: If you're a natural, I'm supernatural.
Sam: That doesn't even make sense.

Sam: Come on I think it would be great for you to be in a relationship. 
Callen: Sam, how many times are we going to have this conversation? You're my partner! Not my mother! 
Sam: [In an old lady voice] I just want you to be happy and find a good girl! 

Sam: You know what really scares me? 
Callen: You mean besides clowns? 
Sam: Losing my partner. 
Callen: I'd hug it out with you, but, uh, I saw you sitting on some poison oak back in the woods. 

Callen: I suppose I owe you one, too, huh?
Sam: Hah. One? More like 20. And that’s just today. You're just lucky I don't keep count.
Callen: I'm just lucky you can't count.

Callen: You know someone in Belgium?
Sam: Before I got stuck with you, Sam Hanna was an international brand.
Callen: Oh. Before I got stuck with you, I didn’t realize people who refer to themselves in the third person really existed in life.
Sam: Yeah, right. Kind of like guys who have one letter of the alphabet for a first name.

Callen: I know that look.
Sam: You’re starting to sound like my wife. You know what they say when your partner starts sounding like your wife?
Callen: Get a new wife?
Sam: I'm gonna pretend you didn’t say that.

Callen put their priorities in order after Sam startled his wife (and CIA Agent) Michelle.

Sam: [sarcastically] Thanks for having my back in there, partner.
Callen: I will take a bullet for you, but wives are a whole other thing. 
Sam: I'll remember that.

Callen: What am I gonna do with a dog?
Sam: You can take care of it, play with it, scratch its ears. They're men's best friend.
Callen: Thought you were my best friend. Oh, you want me to scratch your ears, is that it?
Sam: A dog would be good for you.
Callen: No, no, come to think of it. I feed you, I take you for walks and you are very protective of me.
Sam: Don't say it!
Callen: You’re my dog! Huh? You're my dog!

Callen: We both love beer. Can we agree that we both love beer? 
Sam: We can agree that if you offer me a beer, I'll drink it. But, I'm more of a champagne guy. 
Callen: Champagne over beer? 
Sam: Dom Perignon Rose? Best bubbles in the world, baby. 
Callen: What about basketball? 
Sam: You know I'm more of a football man. 
Callen: Pancakes. 
Sam: Waffles. 
Callen: JFK. 
Sam: The movie or the airport? 

Sam: This acai bowl is really good. You should’ve really got one.
Callen: Easy. I'm already drinking this baby food smoothie for you.
Sam: What do you have against acai? It’s the superfood of the Amazon.
Callen: You don’t think it’s strange that two years ago you didn’t even hear of acai? Now you’re slurping it down every chance you get.
Sam: I don’t do that. I don’t slurp.

Sam and Callen are not only partners, but also carpool buddies. So, when Callen skipped on his morning ride it created a "thing" between them—causing Kensi to say they were arguing like a married couple.

Callen: You done with this thing?
Sam: If you say it’s not a thing, it’s not a thing.
Callen: It’s not a thing.
Sam: Unless you don’t realize it’s a thing.
Callen: Keep that up and you’re gonna have a thing.