John Oliver Is Telling Lies About These Adorable Puppies
Remember, man's best friend is the only friend that is fit to lick you in public!
Posted on Feb 25, 2022 | 05:00pm
John Oliver joined the show tonight to corroborate the flattering lies that Stephen and the North Shore Animal League America are spreading about this pack of adorable puppies.
NSALA is the world's largest no-kill animal rescue and adoption organization. Visit their website for more information on the puppies from this episode and learn more ways to support the organization.
To make sure these deserving puppies find a home, some slight exaggerations were made about them to make you want to adopt them even more! Read as follows:
CHI CHI
Chi Chi has been specially bred to be able to smell the exact moment that hot pizza becomes edible. Adopt Chi Chi, and you'll never burn the roof of your mouth again.
LEON
Leon has the ability to sense when you're about to go to the gym, and at that moment, looks super sad so you have to stay and snuggle with him. It's not your fault you didn't do your cardio. What were you supposed to do? Look at Leon's eyes!
LIL' SAMMIE
Lil' Sammie's uncle can get you a great discount on a premium flatscreen. Just tell Big Sammie Lil' Sammie sent you... and don't ask too many questions.
CAPTAIN
Captain watch you have sex? Honestly, yes. But not from an angle where you can see him. And he gives very constructive notes afterward.
RUTHIE
Ruthie invented the "Kiss Cam" they put on screen at sporting events. And she gets a check every time they use it.
SPRINKLES
Sprinkles is not just a dog. He is also an NFT. What does that mean? Adopt him, and you're probably a billionaire! Plus, when the market inevitably crashes and every other NFT Investor's life is completely ruined--you still have Sprinkles!
WALDO
Waldo loves literature. In fact, he just devoured the complete works of Faulkner. And he'll poop it out any day now.
MARVIN
Marvin is the world's wealthiest dog. In fact, he built a space rocket way before Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos, and his doesn't look like a penis. Well, not a human one.
MILES
Miles is a high-powered executive at HBO. Adopt him and you'll be the first to hear all the network's show's exciting plot lines before they happen--you won't believe which beloved lead character gets killed off this season.
For more information on all featured puppies, visit the North Shore Animal League America (NSALA) website.
Watch all-new episodes of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35/10:35c on CBS and stream it live or on demand with Paramount+.
NSALA is the world's largest no-kill animal rescue and adoption organization. Visit their website for more information on the puppies from this episode and learn more ways to support the organization.
To make sure these deserving puppies find a home, some slight exaggerations were made about them to make you want to adopt them even more! Read as follows:
CHI CHI
Chi Chi has been specially bred to be able to smell the exact moment that hot pizza becomes edible. Adopt Chi Chi, and you'll never burn the roof of your mouth again.
LEON
Leon has the ability to sense when you're about to go to the gym, and at that moment, looks super sad so you have to stay and snuggle with him. It's not your fault you didn't do your cardio. What were you supposed to do? Look at Leon's eyes!
LIL' SAMMIE
Lil' Sammie's uncle can get you a great discount on a premium flatscreen. Just tell Big Sammie Lil' Sammie sent you... and don't ask too many questions.
CAPTAIN
Captain watch you have sex? Honestly, yes. But not from an angle where you can see him. And he gives very constructive notes afterward.
RUTHIE
Ruthie invented the "Kiss Cam" they put on screen at sporting events. And she gets a check every time they use it.
SPRINKLES
Sprinkles is not just a dog. He is also an NFT. What does that mean? Adopt him, and you're probably a billionaire! Plus, when the market inevitably crashes and every other NFT Investor's life is completely ruined--you still have Sprinkles!
WALDO
Waldo loves literature. In fact, he just devoured the complete works of Faulkner. And he'll poop it out any day now.
MARVIN
Marvin is the world's wealthiest dog. In fact, he built a space rocket way before Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos, and his doesn't look like a penis. Well, not a human one.
MILES
Miles is a high-powered executive at HBO. Adopt him and you'll be the first to hear all the network's show's exciting plot lines before they happen--you won't believe which beloved lead character gets killed off this season.
For more information on all featured puppies, visit the North Shore Animal League America (NSALA) website.
Watch all-new episodes of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35/10:35c on CBS and stream it live or on demand with Paramount+.