Talk Takeaway: Relationships with Paul Carrick Brunson

Posted on Nov 1, 2012 10:45am


Paul Carrick Brunson is a professional matchmaker, relationship coach and author of "It's Complicated (But It Doesn't Have to Be): A Modern Guide To Finding and Keeping Love." He is joining our "Talk Takeaway" to discuss how you can keep the love alive in your relationship. For more information on Paul click here

Tips on Maintaining a Relationship
From "
It's Complicated (But It Doesn't Have to Be)"

1)Take the butt pads off, be your authentic self.                                                                                                        

-Chris Rock once said "When you meet someone for the first time, you meet their representative."  He's right but sadly so. If you want someone to love the real you, they have to meet the real you first.

2)Surround yourself with people who believe in your relationship.                                                                           

-This is the single most popular piece of advice I hear time and time again from couples who have sustained long-term relationships.  You want to be around like-minded people to keep you uplifted and inspired as a couple.

3) Know you can't change anyone but yourself.                                                                                                                         

-Attempting to fix someone is the most futile exercise on the planet. You can't fix anyone but yourself.

4) Become a better listener and you'll become a better lover.                                                                                                 

-I learned this firsthand with my wife.   Actively listening allows for better communication and problem solving, the two keys to a successful relationship.

5) Fight to understand, not to win.                                                                                                                                                  

 -Every couple fights.  If you don't, you don't have a relationship, you have an agreement.   The question is… do you fight with the right intention? You should be fighting to better understand where your partner is coming from.

6) Understand your partner's needs.                                                                                                                                        

-Listen and pay attention to what makes your partner tick.  Listening and understanding are the keys to any great relationship. 

7) Keep the fire lit by tending to the coals.                                                                                                                           

-Relationships stand the test of time by staying fresh. Doing new things together is the best way to achieve this. New activities also serve a biological reason, dopamine flows from the brain which facilitates bonding.

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