Talk Takeaway: Emotional Control with Ken Lindner

Posted on Jan 15, 2013 10:45am

Ken Lindner, author of "Your Killer Emotions: The 7 Steps to Mastering the Toxic Emotions, Urges and Impulses That Sabotage You" joins us today. 

An Overview

Your Killer Emotions

Your emotions can be killers! They can kill the accomplishment of your plans, the fulfillment of your dreams, and the attainment of the life that you envision and so dearly want for yourself. Potentially poisonous emotions can also trigger behavior that leads to lower self-esteem and self-worth. Essentially, they can destroy your spirit and your positive energy. Obviously, all of this is extremely bad stuff!

When I was a Harvard undergrad, I saw the very smartest people do some of the most unfathomable, self-destructive, and seemingly "stupid" things.# In the process, they destroyed themselves and their chances of enjoying exceedingly bright futures. From this apparent irony, I gleaned the following: Just because a person is intellectually gifted or wonderfully talented doesn't mean that he or she is in control of his or her emotions. In fact, it can be quite the contrary!

Haven't you, at one time or another, let your feelings of hurt, anger, loneliness, resentment, rage, neediness, insecurity, jealousy, and/or hopelessness cloud your best judgment, resulting in your making a disappointing, self-sabotaging, and/or spirit-deflating life choice? If your response is, "Oh yes, unfortunately far too many times," have you considered what led to these life-derailing situations?

The answer may well be that you were energized, catalyzed, and led to act in response to the energy charges from potentially poisonous feelings, urges, and impulses because they, at the time, overpowered and thereby negated your intellect and your best judgment. You wound up assuaging an intense impulse or urge rather than opting to make a positive life choice. Your actions were not a well thought-out reflection of your very best judgment, as you didn't take into account what you truly want in and for your life. Instead, you made a self-defeating, emotionally charged choice that was in direct contradiction to what you, in more lucid moments, would want to accomplish. And later, upon clearer reflection, you realized once again that you had compromised your life goals and dreams, as well as your physical, psychological, emotional, and/or spiritual well-being! This failure to do what you generally knew was "right" may also have led to a significant diminution of your overall self-esteem, as well as to a substantial decrease in your core confidence to create and enjoy the life that you crave.

Over the past 30 years, I have successfully counseled thousands upon thousands of individuals regarding their most important life and career choices, and there is one thing that almost all of them have in common: They have made crucial, self-defeating or self-sabotaging decisions that they later dearly regretted at a time when their best, clear judgment was clouded by sabotaging emotions, impulses, or urges.

Sometimes we pay little or no price for poor/self-destructive decision-making. However, many times we cause ourselves, our most dearly held goals, and the ones we love severe or irreparable damage because we are unable to think and reason clearly and toxic-emotion-free at pivotal decision-making moments.

Think of Your Killer Emotions as your emotional survival kit, as it will provide you with a set of clear, tried-and-true Steps for acting with absolute intellectual clarity when you are about to make important life and career choices. The key is for you to master your emotions and urges and to turn them into your allies when you are making important life choices. One of the ways by which you will accomplish this is by correctly identifying your unique set of very specific Personal Emotional Triggers™ (or PETS™). As we will discuss, these PETS are so highly super-charged that they will overpower, and thereby nullify, the less potent, competing, and/or conflicting energy charges of potentially destructive and/or sabotaging emotions, urges, and impulses. As a direct result, you will be free to make crystal-clear life choices and take actions that reflect and effect what you most want for yourself and your life in the long term.

There are some things in life that you can control and some that you can't. I've seen way too many individuals make diminishing, destructive, and/or self-sabotaging life choices because they worried about things that they couldn't control, and they didn't focus—or lost focus—on controlling the things that they could. You absolutely can control your reasoning and evaluative processes, your choices, and your actions—as long as you master the potentially toxic emotions, urges, and impulses that can compromise or totally dismantle your best judgment when you make your life choices.

So, if making truly great life choices sounds exciting, beneficial, and/or intriguing, let's get started!

Praise for Your Killer Emotions

"Ken Lindner's phenomenal book, Your Killer Emotions, puts you in the driver's seat of your life! It enlightens, empowers and provides an essential foundation for achieving success, health, well-being, and fulfillment. It provides, in a clear and compelling way, a true, essential life compass that directs and motivates you to manage negative, self-destructive, and self-defeating behavior and to redirect your emotions in a way that harnesses a positive and strategic force. Lindner's book opens the door to this positive emotional force and gives you the tools you need to help keep you on track and allow your greatest talents, skills, and aspirations to flourish, and for you to succeed in the areas you value most!"

—Don Browne, former president of
Telemundo Communications Group; executive vice president,
NBC News; and member of the Broadcasting Hall of Fame

"If you are looking for a clear, commonsense, and effective way to improve your life, look no further! Your Killer Emotions is a phenomenally unique book that takes an in-depth look at the way we make decisions, while illustrating the importance of the emotional milieu behind these decisions via a series of personal and professional stories. Reading this book will change the way you understand your emotions and empower you to control and actually use your emotional "energy charges" to create the life you really want. Ken Lindner has provided us with a true game-changer. Caution—reading this book may drastically improve your life!"

—Natalie Strand, MD

"If you read Your Killer Emotions, you will be far more effective at what you do, more successful, and most importantly—you will be happier!"

—Sanjay Gupta, MD, multiple Emmy®-award-winning
chief medical correspondent for CNN


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