Late Show

PLUS: Super Bowl Highlights; Get To Know The Candidates; Super Bowl Commercials Recap; and Biff Henderson at Super Bowl XLVI.

" . . . . and now, the 12th man on the field . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE
We’re not allowed to show footage of the Super Bowl. We need the NFL permission for that. We got the OK for Eli’s segment, but not for anything else.
That’s the reason for this: Super Bowl Highlight Simulation.
We cut to a crude stick figure animated drawing of the Ahmad Bradshaw touchdown with a minute left in the game. We did take the Al Michaels announce.
And that’s all we got.

Now that the Super Bowl is over, we can start concentrating just a little bit on the presidential race. We take this time to "Get To Know The Candidates." ART CARD: "Get to Know the Candidates"
We see a clip of Mitt Romney.
Announce: "From 1983 to 1985, Mitt Romney was the host of ‘Love Connection.’" We see Mitt as host of "Love Connection." A contestant explains his date: " . . . . I mean . . . her eyes, her lips, her nose and ears, her private parts . . . . everything was so gorgeous."
Announce: "This has been 'Get to Know the Candidates.'"
Ewww, how creepy. It gave me the woolerys.

When it comes time to vote in November, we all need to ask ourselves if we can vote for a man who ties his dog to the roof of his car. We take a look at the clip from last week of Mitt out for a drive. Through the drivers side window we see his dog lean down from the roof of the car pleading to let him in. Unfortunately, the accompanying announce at the end of that clip was edited out before we showed it.

Many people watch the Super Bowl just for the commercials. I watch the commercials just for the Super Bowl.
And now it’s time for The Super Bowl Commercial Recap.
Art Card: Super Bowl Commercial Recap
Fast read/quick clips: "Sex. Sex. Wacky dog. Sex. Wacky dog. Wacky dog. Wacky baby. Wacky dog. Sex. Sex. Made me think I might be gay. Sex. Wacky Dog. Wacky Baby. Wacky monkey. Leno likes to steal stuff from fellow comedians."

On saxophone tonight, Andy Snitzer.

ACT 2: We sent our good friend Biff Henderson out to Indianapolis to cover the big game. Biff raves about the hospitality, the kindness, and the great experience put forth by the city and people of Indianapolis. They did it right, it was top notch, and first class all the way. I heard the same from many who went to the Super Bowl. We then take a look in on Biff Henderson at Super Bowl XLVI.
We see Biff signing the bald head of a Giant fan and Biff fan for the 2nd time. The first time was four years ago in Arizona in the first Giants/Patriots Super Bowl.
We see Biff doing the Victor Cruz salsa dance with fans and celebs.
Biff and Alex Baldwin trying to sing some Madonna.
We then see Biff meeting and greeting some of the biggest celebs in the business, including head linesman Tom Stabile!
We see Biff make it on to the field to join in on the New York Giants celebration .
We see Biff sneak in a kiss of the Lombardi Trophy.
And we Giants Coach Tom Coughlin pretending he knows Biff Henderson.

Nice job, Biff, and kudos to those behind the scenes who put this together.

ACT 3:
ELI MANNING
Dave is giddy to have Eli Manning here on the show tonight. He knows how swamped the MVP QB has been. Everybody wants a piece of Eli and Dave is ecstatic that he agreed to spend his valued time with us. Eli recaps what has taken place in his life in the past 24 hours. Lot of shared celebration with teammates and coaching staff. He went back to the hotel after the game for a team party and says he had a lot of friends from home, high school and college to help him celebrate. Eli says they seemed more excited than he was about the Super Bowl win. I like that. I like the thought of his high school friends being there with Eli.
This is Eli’s 2nd Super Bowl championship and Dave says he even seems younger now than he did 4 years ago. Eli says it’s probably because he just started shaving this year.
After some discussion and recap of the Super Bowl, Eli is asked about his brother Peyton. Peyton was out the whole year with a bad neck. His future has been in question. Eli assures Dave that Peyton is fine now and is ready to get back to football. He would be ready to play tomorrow. So Peyton will be back . . . but will he be back with Dave’s Indianapolis Colts? Eli says he doesn’t know. Dave snaps, "Oh, c’mon! YOU KNOW!" Eli probably does, but he ain’t saying. Good for him. It’s the right thing to do.
Eli stayed out for one segment, but it may have been the longest single segment ever for a guest. I’ll have to do some research on that.

Eli Manning - the whole thing is crazy. Giant fans can’t quite explain Eli, the Giants, or the season. Buy, boy, it’s been a lot of fun.

The 38-yard pass to Mario Manningham in the 4th quarter . . . . you may never see a better pass.

ACT 4:
SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR
Sarah grew up in New York City and is a big Giants fan, her family being season ticket holders. A quick check on Sarah’s bio and I see she was lucky enough not to have lived through the Giants in the 70s. Whew . . . . . . that was a loooooooong decade to be a Giants fan. The New York Jets have extended that woeful time for another 30 years. Sarah says she was on a flight during the Super Bowl and had to catch glimpses and fragments of the game all night. Sarah is the mom to a two-year-old and that can often cost you your coolness. Sarah found herself in the car the other day listening to her iPod shuffle. The windows were wide open and he was into the music. A carful of kids pulled up and Sarah was feeling the groove and the teens nodded their approval. And then on her iPod comes Elmo who excitedly asks, "I’m Elmo! Will you be my friend?" Her cool quotient dropped faster than my stock portfolio.
And speaking of cars, Sarah’s first car is for sale on the eBay. It’s changed hands a few times since she’s owned it but the guy selling it is advertising it as Sarah Michelle Gellar’s old car. It’s a 1995 convertible Chrysler LeBaron with 53,000 miles, costing $3,000. Could that be right? Heck, I’m thinking of buying it. My girls are 16 and would love a convertible. But your first car shouldn’t be a convertible, should it? You can’t start with a convertible; that should be a goal! 17 year old car with only 53,000 miles on it? My guess is it’s on its second time around, especially since it’s only $3,000.

Sarah Michelle Gellar - you can see her on the "Ringer" on the CW, Tuesdays at 9:00 PM.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Join us tomorrow as Dave welcomes Denzel Washington, and The Fray. And now, Late Show Super Bowl Office Pool Winner of the Night.
Paula Chagares!
I assume you’ll be reporting these winnings to the federal government.
Stick around, peeps."

Oh, but you’re wrong whoever wrote the ACT 5 announce. I am the staff member who runs the Super Bowl pool. We don’t deal in money . . . we play for "units." The federal government isn’t interested in "units." There is no money involved in my Super Bowl pool.
Paula ended up winning 500 units.

ACT 6:
You heard about Mitt traveling by car with his dog tied to the roof? Well, he’s at it again. We have a shot of that. We take a look at Riverside Drive here in the city. It’s Mitt Romney driving on a clear roadway with the dog cage on the roof of the car. We can hear the whimper of the canine. Some may think this wasn’t really Mitt Romney’s car. Some would claim they could see the thin filament pulling the car along the highway. Some would have you believe it’s fake because the car was obviously a toy. Others would know it’s not real because there was absolutely no traffic on the New York City road. But I knew it was phony because Republicans don’t come to New York City.

ACT 7:
DIE ANTWOORD: From their new CD, "Tension," - in stores on Tuesday - the Rap-rave group from Cape Town, South Africa performed "I Fink You Freaky."

Ummm, that was interesting. It really makes me wonder what is on the B-side of that song.

And that was our show for Monday, February 6, 2012.

ExtraWe usually tape Monday’s show from 4:30 to 5:30. We delayed taping for an hour and a half to allow time for Mr. Manning to get here from Disney. He flew up from Florida to Teterboro airport in New Jersey. He was helicoptered from there to the West Side on Manhattan in the 20s or so. And then he was escorted to the theater at 53rd and Broadway. Eli’s been in the "hurry up" offense since the final gun of the Super Bowl. He stayed the night in the city and will be in the ticker tape parade on Tuesday through Wall Street at the southern tip of the city.

It’s always interesting to see a guy who was leading his team to a championship on the football field hours earlier to be sitting right here the next day. Especially for a first-time winner, how their life changes in 24 hours is stunning.

It’s nice when class acts like Eli Manning and Aaron Rogers and Drew Brees quarterback their team to a Super Bowl championship.

Hey, now that was fun! The Super Bowl party at the house was a success. Nobody got hurt; no fights; beer and food lasted longer than the guests.

Hosting a Super Bowl Party means you’re not going to be concentrating much on the game. I knew that going in. The reason I decided to have the party was because I am still enjoying the Giants Super Bowl win from 4 years ago. This is just icing on the cake. This is house money. The Giants in this Super Bowl called for a party.

Meanwhile, my friend taped the game. She and I will get together soon to go over each play to examine and discuss what was good about it and what was bad about it. Yes, I knew what was happening in the game but it didn’t unfold like a story. I feel as if I watched 100 separate individual plays on the field, none connected with the other. I need to sit down and watch to understand how this play affected that play and whys and what-fors. Plus, I like watching movies with a happy ending.

The 6:30 PM start time for the Super Bowl was convenient for much of America except for people living in New York and New England.

Lot of radio talk that Giants Ahmad Bradshaw shouldn’t have scored the go-ahead touchdown. He should have stopped short of the goal line and let the time run down. The Giants would then kick a field goal to leave little time left on the clock. I disagree. You got to take the points and the lead. You don’t want to try to be too cute. Too many bad things can happen. Take the sure thing and let your defense do the rest, especially since the Patriots needed a touchdown, not a field goal to win.

And I’ll say it again: December 11, 20121 --- if Tony Romo hits a wide open Miles Austin in the 4th quarter with 2:20 left in the game on a 3rd and 5, the Giants aren’t even in the playoffs.

And if Wes Welker makes that catch with 4 minutes left in Sunday’s game, the Patriots are the Super Bowl champions.
A good throw by Tom Brady and Wes Welker makes that catch 95 out of 100 times.
A fair throw by Tom Brady and Wes Welker makes that catch 80 out of 100 times.
Tom Brady threw a fair throw.
The throw should have been better.
Still, the catch should have been made.
And the Giants are now making plans for a ticker tape parade through the Canyon of Heroes.

This was the Patriots 6th Super Bowl. Forgetting the first one in 1986 vs. the Bears, in the Tom Brady Era this game was a blowout. The first 4 games were decided by 3 points. Sunday’s game was decided by 4. When games are that close, either team could win with the right bounce of the ball. The Pats could be 5-0 in those games or 0-5. A non-recovered fumble, a tip of the ball, an incompletion by inches can make the difference between a win and a loss, between being a legend and a footnote.

Rex Ryan was seen at the ticker tape parade. He was pushing a broom.

Super Bowl party was a great success. It topped out with 40 people at one point. There was a TV on in the living room for the kids and some of the women. For the football fans, there was the big screen projection TV in the basement. It took me all day to set up unobstructed seating for 25. Now that the neighbors have seen it, movie nights are in the plans.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Otisville, New York, it’s Giant fan Sean Reimer
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike