Late Show

PLUS: An Excerpt from Andre Agassi's Book, Coach's Corner, and Dave Talks About Canada.  

" . . . . and now, vampire heartthrob . . . . . David Letterman!"  

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE
- "Millions will go visit their parents next week.   It's nice to see a rotary phone again, isn't it?"
- "It's Vice President Joe Biden's 67th birthday.  He got what he wanted: a gift card to have his head reupholstered"  

Andre Agassi was on the program last week.  Dave is still fascinated by the revelation in his new book that he wore a hairpiece during his playing days.   We take a listen to his excerpt from the audio book.
Announce: "Tired of worrying that my hairpiece might fall out during a match, I stopped wearing it and shaved my head in 1995.   Most people don't know this, but my hairpiece then went on to have a long successful playing career on its own."
Cut to a mullet hairpiece with a tennis racket.   The mullet swings the racket to return a serve.
Announce: "I miss you, buddy.
This has been an excerpt from 'Open' by Andre Agassi."  

ACT 2:
Uh oh, I missed most of this.  All I was able to gather was there were some Canadians in the audience and then something about the Hudson Bay Company.   Dave holds up a map of Canada and the Hudson Bay.  And then there was something about delivering firewood and eating seal fat . . . . . pre-chewed seal fat.   He tries to recall the adventurer who traveled to the Hudson Bay in the cold tundra of Canada.  Meanwhile, half the staff is trying to piece the stories together to find the information Dave is looking for.   We're clicking on "Hudson  Bay" "seal fat" "explorer", anything we can think of.  What we came up with in the shack was a story about Edward Beauclerk Maurice entitled, "The Last Gentleman Adventurer: Coming of Age in the Arctic."  
Anyway, I think this all started because during the pre-show Q&A, Dave learned we had two people from Canada in the audience.
While Dave was pointing at the map, he became curious about an odd town on the northern edge of Hudson Bay called "Ball Boy."   I think he meant "Bell Bay"  

Time now for "Coach's Corner" with San Francisco 49ers Head Coach Mike Singletary.
DAVE: "Coach, as always, thanks for taking the time to appear on the show."
SINGLETARY: "Jim, have the doc take a look at that."
DAVE: "Coach, you beat the Bears 10-6 last week.  Talk about the game."
SINGLETARY: "I can hear you, Jim."
DAVE: "coach, you intercepted Jay Cutler 5 times.  Was it your best defensive outing of the season?"
SINGLETARY: (looking off camara) "Joe Montana! . . . Joe Montana! . . .  Get off the field, Montana!  You make me sick, Montana."
DAVE: "OK, Coach, Sunday you head to Green Bay, always a tough place to play.   What's that like?"
SINGLETARY: "Is there a question there?"
DAVE: "What about playing at Lambeau Field?"
SINGLETARY: "Well, it's a football field, and we're a football team, so right there, that a break for us."
DAVE: "Not sure what that means.  Coach, can the 49ers still make the playoffs?
SINGLETARY: "Here's what I tell them.  You're going to the tundra.  Bring your tundra cleats and don't take your damn tundra cleats off until you see zeroes on the scoreboard.   Montana!  Hey, Montana!  Off the field!"   (Coach Singletary throws off his head set and storms off)
DAVE: "I think we're having some issues with the coach."
Coach Singletary quickly pokes his head back in and chimes, "Your local news starts now!"  And then exits.  

 . . . and I was going to pick the 49ers this weekend.   

ACT 3:
VIGGO MORTENSEN
The last time Viggo was here he was promoting "Eastern Promises" in which he went on to become nominated for a Best Actor Academy Award.   His work in his current film, "The Road" is bringing out talk of more of the same.
Viggo enjoys traveling and was recently in Iceland.   (Before it went bankrupt, I pegged Iceland as the next hip place to vacation)   He and his son were in one of Iceland's many thermal pools south of Reykjavik.   As they floated along, suddenly out of the miss appeared this man wearing no cloths.  He holds out a soggy piece of paper and asks for an autograph. 
Dave shares an autograph story.  He was out on the beach on some faraway island and a guy and his naked wife came up to him seeking an autograph.   My guess is they expected Dave had a pen. I have an autograph story.  I was recognized outside the theater and someone asked me if I would give them an autograph.   I proudly said I would.   I had a pen.  All he had was a dollar bill, so I signed that.     Now, years later, the worth of that autograph has been estimated to be one dollar.  

Another time while driving through New Zealand, Viggo hit a . . . a kangaroo?   A rabbit? . . . I forgot what he said.   He was in the middle of nowhere with no place to stay and nothing to eat . . . so, why not?   Viggo is a rugged, outdoorsman so he set camp and dined on his roadkill.    A short time later in casual conversation he overheard that one should never eat what Viggo had eaten; it's full of disease and stuff.   So far, Viggo hasn't felt any bad effects.    

"The Road" – it opens Wednesday November 25th.  

ACT 5:
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Her new comedy CD is entitled, "I Heart Jokes: Paula Tells Them in Maine."   And on Saturday she's at the Zeiterion Theater in New Bedford, Massachusetts. I've always liked this line I heard from a comedian many years ago and I've used it myself without crediting.   I could never remember who said it.
"Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas. "
I just found out it was Paula Poundstone.  This Googling is great.

ACT 6:
LYLE LOVETT: From his new CD, "Natural Forces," the always enjoyable Lyle Lovett performed "Natural Forces"  

And that was our show for Friday November 20, 2009.

ExtraThe other day while at the supermarket I picked up some Eggo Waffles.   I wanted something quick for morning breakfasts for my girls before school.  Danielle likes the buttermilk Eggo waffles, Dominique likes the chocolate chip Eggo waffles.    I picked up the Buttermilk waffles but could not find the chocolate chip Eggo waffles.  What happened to the chocolate chip Eggo waffles?   Where are they?   Not found, I went home without.  And then just this week I read that there is an Eggo waffle shortage.  Due to restructuring, their output has been curtailed.   A shortage occurred.   We all know this now, but I suffered the pangs of the shortage long before it became known to the common man.   You KNOW about the shortage now.   I, and my daughter Dominique, we FEEL the shortage.   And it's not a good feeling.   We want our Eggo Chocolate Chip Waffles!  

When will the name of that successful CBS sitcom be changed to "Two and Three-Quarters Men"?    I mean, the kid is getting up there, no?  

Hey, have you been watching the ESPN sports series, "30 For 30," a documentary series featuring thirty stories from today's finest storytellers covering the 30 years since ESPN's has come in to existence.   They are stories not about a World Series winner or the Super Bowl champion, but more about the story behind the story behind the story.    Or it'll be about a sporting event that exploded on the scene and then disappeared.    Or the story will be about someone you'd say "Oh, yeah, whatever happened to him?"   It's more than just about the score or the game.  The series explores what leads up to the moment we remember.    Check it out.  It's not just for the sports minded.  Very entertaining.  Very informational.  

Wahoo Filler:

This Date in History On The stage of the Ed Sullivan Theater
November 20, 1955: Bo Diddley becomes the first African American performer to appear on the Ed Sullivan Show.   

Yesterday I wrote that I like "This Date in History On The Stage of the Ed Sullivan Theater" because I'm learning stuff and figure so will you, but the above about Bo Diddley being the first African American to appear on the Ed Sullivan Show . . . in 1955 . . . didn't ring true.  Sullivan had been on TV since 1948.   No African American performers for 7 years?   I checked and found the above "fact" in many articles.     I looked some more and within 10 minutes I found:
- "1951 - William Warfield and Muriel Rahn (1911-1961) become the first black concert artists to appear on television (The Ed Sullivan Show)"
- The Tuskegee Choir appeared on "The Ed Sullivan Show" (1952),
- Nat King Cole appeared on the Sullivan show on October 2, 1955 and October 23, 1955.
And I'm sure there's much much more, like Bill "Bojangles" Robinson (1948), Ethel Waters (1949), Cab Calloway (1949).  

Who was first doesn't really matter.  But it's very interesting to see how in this computer age one reference can be picked up and repeated by scores of others and used as fact.   You walk away thinking it must be true if all these sources report the same, but it's probably coming from the same original inaccurate source.  

And about that Bo Diddley appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show . . . Ed was expecting Bo to sing Tennessee Ernie Ford's "Sixteen Tons."   Instead, Bo Diddle sang "Bo Diddley."   Mr. Sullivan was not pleased, words were exchanged, and Bo Diddley never did appear on the show again.  

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
From Texas, it's Carolyn Gilbert
This concludes another edition of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER  

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com