DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Tuesday, October 28, 1997
Top Ten Signs Your Stockbroker Is in a Panic
Every time the Dow drops five points he passes out like a carp.
While he's screaming, "Sell!" you gently remind
him the market has been closed for three hours.
Sold blue chips, bought potato chips.
To help with the sweating, he's wrapped himself in Bounty
paper towels.
He prefaces each stock quote by yelling, "Survey says!"
Whenever his beeper goes off, he stabs his thigh with a
letter opener.
He buys wheat, pork futures and lettuce in order to corner
the lucrative "B.L.T." market.
Tried to stage hostile takeover of Microsoft with $60 and
a cap gun.
According to his wife, the stock market isn't the only
thing that's been plummeting.
Claims he has D
"Late Show" Rewind: Week of July 27, 2009 Adam, Katie, Eric, Amy, Mark and more. All the best LS highlights from the week of July 27, 2009.
