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Monday, November 10, 1997

Top Ten Signs You Won't Be People Magazine'sSexiest Man Alive
  
You're not even the sexiest dishwasher at T.G.I. Friday's.
You recently appeared on MTV's House of Style.
You're the only guy in America who can't get sex by posing as a woman on the Internet.
You're 38 years old, and you still wear Spiderman pajamas.
Whenever you look at your inflatable woman, she spontaneously deflates.
The only conversation you ever have with a woman is to ask, "Paper or plastic?"
The most common greeting when you walk in a room is, "Who's frying bacon?"
Your current title: President and CEO of Microsoft.
You've got what's known in the commercial aviation industry as a two-ticket ass.
Your favorite sexual fantasy -- a
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