DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Thursday, December 30, 1999
Top Ten Dumb Guy New Year's Resolutions
Eat more paint.
Remove glass from TV screen, crawl through into "Baywatch."
Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
Check on Eggos buried in backyard; see if "waffle
tree" has grown yet.
I's gonna build me a spaceship!
Lose every pound of weight.
Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.
Oh who am I kidding, if it looks like candy -- it's candy.
Learn what the hell "resolution" means.
·
Sometime in 2000, start looking into this whole Y2K-bug thing.
·
Catch up on backlog of bottles that need to be hit against head.
·
Learn word to that catchy-as-hell "alphabet song."
·
Move lips less when reading "exit" signs.
·
Still eat soup with a fork, but hold spoon underneath to
catch the drips.
·
Re-enter presidential race under clever pseudonym:
"Stan Quayle."
·
See if individually-wrapped cheese slices taste better
without the plastic.
·
Ask Ed McMahon for letter of recommendation based on how
close I came in that sweepstakes.
"Late Show" Rewind: Week of July 27, 2009 Adam, Katie, Eric, Amy, Mark and more. All the best LS highlights from the week of July 27, 2009.
