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TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Thursday, June 01, 2000
Top Ten Things That Guy Has Heard About Beef
If you eat too much of it, it can make your hair look
really goofy.
It causes "bad acting disease."
It comprises 3% of the average McDonald's cheeseburger.
It tastes great then a couple hours later an alien bursts
our of your stomach.
Madonna seems to like it.
Cows are keeping a list of people who eat beef for when
they rise up and kill the humans.
That old lady who said, "Where's the beef?" died
from eating beef and pop rocks.
It just beat Dan Quayle in an early presidential poll.
Something about George Michael and a public restroom.
It's been seen sneaking out of Oprah's house early in the morning.
·
If you eat flank steak you see dead people just like that
kid in "The Sixth Sense."
·
Responsible for death of those three kids chasing after
the Blair Witch.
·
Eating too much makes you crave human flesh.
·
A friend of a friend had a burger once and then years
later he died.
·
For a few years Tom Arnold was married to about 300 pounds
of it.
·
Appeared in an explicit video with Pamela Anderson.
·
Can't remember exactly, but it had something to do with
Milton Berle.
·
It's rumored to be Al Gore's running mate.
·
All American beef comes from cattle personally slaughtered
by Ronald McDonald.
Trouble For Dr. Phil? Dr. Phil sets the record straight about the rumors of trouble with his wife "Brenda."
