DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Tuesday, June 05, 2001
Top Ten Excuses Of The Gun-Toting Yankees Fan
"You expect me to sit in the bleachers without a gun?"
"$6.50 a beer? Who's sticking up whom?"
"I was hoping Derek Jeter would autograph my silencer"
"How do you think I got the ball from the guy who
caught it?"
"In the Bronx, Memorial Day is the start of
rat-hunting season"
"You never know when you're going to run into a
member of the Nepalese royal family"
"Oh, the commercials said I should bring my
son to the game!"
"My job is to shoot fans who attempt to rebroadcast
accounts and descriptions of the game without the express
written consent of Major League Baseball"
"If Mayor Giuliani and Donna Hanover ever show up,
someone's gotta keep the peace"
"I'm holding this for Robert Blake"
·
"I'm a plump white guy desperate to gain some kind of
gangsta hip-hop street cred"
·
"Um...I'm James Bond?"
·
"In a city where Puff Daddy is still walking the
streets, the question should be, 'Why aren't you carrying a gun?'"
·
"With concession prices so high, it makes more sense
to just shoot and eat a pigeon"
·
"Unlike most fans, I'm not concealing my weapon"
"Late Show" Rewind: Week of July 27, 2009 Adam, Katie, Eric, Amy, Mark and more. All the best LS highlights from the week of July 27, 2009.
