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TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Top Ten Secrets to Winning The Miss USA Pageant Presented By
Miss USA Chelsea Cooley
Choose an inexpensive evening gown--you'll have money left
to bribe the judges.
Watch what Kirstie Alley eats--do the opposite.
Why put vaseline on your teeth? It's vase-licious!
Pretty much just be hotter than the other 50 girls.
Your vow to make liposuction more affordable.
Three words: tweeze, tweeze, tweeze.
Visualize your future--one year as Miss USA, ten years
working boat shows.
Ignore distracting phone calls from Pat O'Brien.
Give Miss New York USA $500 to arrange
"accidents" for your competitors.
Focus on your ultimate goal: an appearance on Jay Leno.
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Sorry, No extras for today!!
"Late Show" Rewind: Week of June 23 - 27, 2008 Will Smith, Charlize Theron, Lyle the Intern, Dave reviews "The Dark Knight" and much more.
