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Thursday, June 22, 2006

Top Ten Other Changes In The United States Army
  
Instead of "Sir," commanding officers may be addressed as "Dude"
Foxholes will be even "Foxy-er"
Cumbersome Kevlar helmet replaced with more comfortable Panama hat
Soldiers receive furloughs to see Regis and Susan Lucci at Foxwoods Casino
Due to funding cuts, private first class reduced to private business class
No more annoying surprise visits from Bush
New feel-good drill sergeants demand, "Drop and give me one!"
Instead of dishonorable discharge, unruly soldiers receive embarrassing Kenny Rogers-style eye lift
New standard haircut: "The Rachel"
For a limited time all enlistees get to kick Rumsfeld's ass
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Sorry, no Top Ten extras tonight!

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