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TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Monday, October 23, 2006
Top Ten Signs A Baseball Player Is Cheating
Tested positive for uranium
Always asking fans for clean urine
After each win, receives congratulatory phone call from
Balco founder Victor Conte
Name on back of his uniform is "Bonds"
You can find him in the club house corking himself
Distracts opponents by throwing out the frozen head of Ted Williams
Somehow got 3 RBI's during the seventh-inning stretch
You haven't seen someone with that much Vaseline on them
since the last Paris Hilton video
Pete Rose called him a disgrace to the game
His nickname is "Needle Ass"
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His glove is the size of a loveseat
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Pitcher has an extra rosin bag hidden in his mouth
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Post game, he sticks around to give the fans autographed syringes
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Easily steals bases thanks to his handy Taser
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His fastball clocks in at just under 400 miles an hour
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Between at bats, he hides a bottle of pills in the
mascot's giant head
"Late Show" Rewind: Week of June 23 - 27, 2008 Will Smith, Charlize Theron, Lyle the Intern, Dave reviews "The Dark Knight" and much more.
