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Thursday, May 24, 2007

Top Ten Signs You're Watching A Bad Pirate Movie
 Top Ten   
Parrot infects entire cast with deadly Bird Flu
The swashbuckling lead character is named "Gilligan"
Pirate wears eye patch because of nasty racquetball injury
"Ship" is a 1992 Toyota Corolla
It stars Johnny Depp's cousin, Carl Depp
Long discussions about which is the best over-the-counter seasickness remedy
It chronicles the hero's attempt to open a Long John Silver's franchise
Instead of hook, pirate's missing hand replaced by giant "We're #1" foam finger
Pirates square off against those hilarious Geico cavemen
It's basically "Brokeback Mountain" on a boat
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Due to product placement requirement, pirates say, "Chips ahoy, matey!"

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Entire film takes place in Nebraska

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Every "arrgh" ends in a prolonged coughing fit

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90% of ocean scenes are shot in the director's pool

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