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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Top Ten Surprises During Eliot Spitzer's Resignation
 Top Ten   
Entered to the sounds of Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin'"
Opening line: "Are you a cop?"
Spent two minutes seductively stroking the microphone
Reaffirmed his policy of "Bro's before Ho's"
His decision not to wear pants
Admitted he also once made out with former Governor Pataki
Credited downfall to fast-paced lifestyle of Albany
He was kinda pitchy, dawg
Said he thought the Emperor's Club was a Chinese restaurant
When reporters asked how much he paid per hour, his wife said, "Believe me, he doesn't need an hour"
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He's running for Governor of Nevada

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Announced plans for new reality show "Whorin' With The Stars"

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Declined further comment until his appearance on 'Maury'

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Read list of celebrities he would nail

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In addition to prostitutes, he also has a weakness for Chili's jalapeno poppers

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Dedicated the speech to "Tiffany"

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Kept humping the podium

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Would only take questions from hot babe reporters

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Paul Shaffer and the CBS Orchestra
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