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Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Top Ten Messages Left On The Pregnant Man's Answering Machine
 Top Ten   
"I thought you said you were using protection"
"It's Angelina Jolie. I'd like to adopt the baby"
"This is your wife -- can I borrow your Gillette Mach 3 razor?"
"It's Maury. I'd love to test to see if you're the mother and/or the father"
"Ralph Nader here. I've had sex with myself for years and never got pregnant"
"It's Maury. Again, seriously, how fast can you get here?"
No number 4 -- writer still stuck on JetBlue flight -- what's it been, like a year?
"Michael Moore here. People ask me if I'm pregnant too"
"This is Dr. Phil. We should talk"
"Michael Jackson here -- just wanted to reach out to another androgynous freak show"
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"Ok, you won the bet; how much do I owe you?"

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"Mom here; how exactly do I announce this in the church bulletin?"

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"Hi, It's Amy Winehouse. Thanks for taking the attention away from me"

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"Dude, I thought you just had a beer gut"

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"It's Toyota -- would you like to do an endorsement deal with our hybrids?"

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