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Thursday, April 03, 2008

Top Ten Excuses Of The Man Caught Having Sex With A Picnic Table
 Top Ten   
Got all worked up after looking through the IKEA catalog
C'mon, did you see that picnic table?
I was refinishing it and things just got out of hand
Just broke up with the pool table and didn't want to be alone
If you're gonna arrest every man who's had sex with a picnic table, you're gonna have to build a hell of a lot more prisons
Was curious if I could have sex with anything more flat and lifeless than my wife -- hiyooo!
Hey, a man has needs
My doctor said I have Restless Nuts Syndrome
It's not like I spent $4,000 for a hooker
Well, it was our anniversary
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Look, I got problems - quit riding me

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The grill seemd like a bad idea

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It looked so alluring in that short table cloth

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The yard gnomes like to watch

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Technically, it's not cheating

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Was trying to make the birdhouse jealous

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I'm tired of that pregnant dude getting all the headlines

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