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			Thursday, March 28, 2002 Show #1778
			By Michael Z. McIntee	Change Text Color: Black \| White


	Robin Williams; and Sevendust. PLUS: Dave meets a stranger; George Clarke's Water Conservation Tips; Biff Henderson's Fun With A Bullhorn; and a Top Ten list presented by the New York National Guard. It's a Wahoo doubleheader today. I'm taking Friday off. Dave opens by telling a story of playing with one of the little kids running around his dressing room. No, not an intern - younger - like 5 years old. Dave was eating some Easter cookies in the back room and planned on coming out with a mouthful of the baked goodie. Dave thought the young child would get a kick out of this. The kids love Dave. They often think he's Lenny Schultz. So Dave came through the door with a mouthful of cookie and is face to face with a guy with a camera. Who was the guy? Nobody knows. Somebody said he was looking for the Deegen. BIFF HENDERSON'S FUN WITH A BULLHORN: Biff spent a recent Friday riding a van through the streets of Manhattan yelling things to passersby through a bullhorn. It's always fun and tonight's was no different. - Biff telling a couple of toughs (sarcastically) that they really look cool smoking. - Biff trying to catch grapes in his mouth thrown by a street vending green grocer. - Biff advises pedestrians that since Mayor Bloomberg is out of town, it is OK to jaywalk. The pedestrians take Biff's word for it and almost get ran over by a yellow cab. The driver probably heard the Mayor was out of town and figured it was OK to drive nuts. - "Hi-dee Hi-dee Hi-dee Hi" -- on the 3rd attempt, Biff finally receives his desired response, "Hi-dee Hi-dee Hi-dee Hi" - Biff telling shoppers on the Toys R Us Ferris Wheel that they are not going anywhere, just around around and around. - Biff tells a jogger to quit the running. "You're going to die, anyway." - Biff asks if he could wear another guy's hat. - Biff finally catching the grape in his mouth. There may have been more but that was most of it. During the short Q and A between Dave and Biff, we learned that Biff just returned from Yankee Spring Training. His visit is penciled in to air sometime next week. Check your local listings. The other day while peering out his window, Dave noticed something being built on the roof of the nearby building. It looked like a roller coaster. No such luck. It's some kind of deadly x-ray radiation-emitting tower. Worse news today - two more went up, now there's three. One of them seems to be aimed directly at Dave. What's Dave to do? I don't know, but I have a feeling he and I may be switching offices. GEORGE CLARKE'S WATER CONSERVATION TIPS: New York City is in a drought emergency so our building engineer George Clarke has decided to launch a new segment on our show about water conservation. We see George by the new guest entrance. He has chocolate powder on his face and he is holding a canister of Swiss Miss Instant Cocoa. George's advice: "I don't need water to enjoy Swiss Miss Cocoa." He then takes a spoonful of the chocolatey powder. That's how George is conserving water. We go back to George, who takes another spoonful. A slight cough spews out a cloud of the Swiss Miss. George exits. TOP TEN: RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE NATIONAL GUARD - And here to present tonight's top ten list, 10 servicemen and women from the New York National Guard. The National Guard is the nation's only community-based defense force, established to support and defend the Constitution of the United States and to provide trained and disciplined forces for domestic emergencies. Those taking part: #10. Staff Sergeant Catherine Noble #9. Staff Sergeant Justin Rubin #8. Specialist Raymond Ramirez #7. Senior Airmen Jennifer Rollins #6. Specialist Jennifer Durkin #5. Specialist David Lee #4. Senior Airmen Lorie Santangelo #3. Tech Sergeant Todd Labrayko #2. Specialist Godfrey Lay #1. Sergeant Keith Meyers. Dave almost skipped #5, Specialist David Lee. This had nothing to do with Mr. Lee's line of "Reading lame comedy lists on second-rate late-night shows." Back from commercial, Dave wishes he had the National Guard with him before the show. ROBIN WILLIAMS: In Death to Smoochy - it opens Friday. He's usually going 90 MPH in a 35 MPH world. He had a few lines I particularly enjoyed. "Ever notice how George Bush doesn't speak so well when Cheney is drinking a glass of water?" And after the pretzel incident, Secret Service could be heard yelling into their lapel, "'Gilligan' is down. 'Gilligan' is down." We see a clip from Death to Smoochy where Robin Williams wrestles a little person, the same little person who once wrestled Cosmo Kramer. Seems like this little person can't get along with others. Have you ever been on a talk show and in need of a good out? Just do what Robin did - tell a story that ends with "What the 'givl'" (to decipher 'givl', use the patent-pending formula used by the Wahoo Gazette - simply look to the left of each letter in "givl' on your keyboard.) SEVENDUST: From their CD, Animosity, Sevendust sang "Angel's Son." And that was our show for Thursday March 28, 2002. Wahoo EXTRA! Milton Berle passed away at the age of 93. I remember spending many nights watching Milton Berle on the TV during my youth. I looked in one of the research department's TV history books to gain some basic casual info on this television legend. I couldn't believe what I found. While I knew Milton was a giant in television in the 1950's, the Milton program I remember watching was The Milton Berle Show that only ran from September 1966 to January 1967! FOUR MONTHS! I always thought this show was on for years when I was a kid. Four months? He hosted a Friday night variety hour on ABC that was canceled in mid-season. The show featured Irving Benson as an off-stage heckler whom I remember quite well. One short I remember was Milton dressed as a cowboy preparing for a gun duel against another cowboy. Milton says, "This town is too small for the both of us." The camera widens to reveal the two standing in a matchbox-sized town. Though Mr. Berle had an illustrious career in television that spanned decades, I'll always remember him most as Louie the Lilac. Saw this sign outside the Madison Square Garden this morning- "April and May - Large room for rent" (ask a sports fan) Could I be wrong? In yesterday's Wahoo Gazette I said it was Boston Red Sox Marty Barrett who was named 1986 World Series MVP during the 9th inning of Game 6. The Award was taken back when the Mets rallied to win that game and then game 7 and Met Ray Knight was crowned the MVP. Two Bosox fans wrote today telling me it was Bruce Hurst who was prematurely proclaimed the MVP and not Marty Barrett. I've always gone on memory with this so I may be wrong but I really don't think so. (Though I'm sure that Red Sox fans know better than I do.) So who was it? Was it Hurst or Barrett? I did very poorly in the NCAA tournament pool, but if we had an NIT tournament pool I would have kicked butt. I have not yet seen the movie Rookie but I know I'll love it. I'm such a sucker for baseball movies, that is, if the actors can actually play the game. And standby, here comes Friday's show: Friday, March 29, 2002 / Show #1779 Andy Dick; and comedian Mike Britt. PLUS: The CBS Mailbag, and a Top Ten List. *CBS MAILBAG* - once again, Biff will be pointing out the cities of origin on a map from where the letters came and points will be awarded for each city he correctly locates. In addition, as a bonus tonight, Biff will be playing for someone. Who will it be tonight? Biff reaches in to a nearby fishbowl and pulls out a name. LETTER #1: from Lee Ann Ellis of Blacksburg, Virginia: "Hi Dave, I think Tony Mendez is one hot dude! Do you think you could get him to take his shirt off?" Just as Tony is about to do the deed, he is interrupted by another well-known Late Show/CBS staffer. LETTER #2: from Mark Carroll of Naples, Florida: "Dear Dave, have you ever thought about getting a tattoo?" Dave says he did get a tattoo not too long ago but is now starting to regret it. LETTER #3: from Paul Papa of Plainfield, Connecticut: "Dear Dave, Who makes more money, Biff or Alan?" Interesting question. I wonder that, too. Both are hard working employees. It's too bad Dave can't say that for everyone on the staff. LETTER #4: from Troy Cunningham of New Salisbury, Indiana: "Hey Dave, What is your best pick-up line?" Dave admits to not being much of a "pick-up line" kind of guy, but our announcer Alan Kalter has had some success with the ladies with his stockpile of pick-up lines. TOP TEN: Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear In A Cab - So good, we did it twice. We revisit this funny videotaped top ten topic in an all-new segment. ANDY DICK: Though flashy and comedic, he doesn't have the 'Bea Arthur pizzazz." Have you ever seen his MTV Andy Dick Show? His description of one episode certainly piqued my interest. After Andy's visit, Dave thinks Andy's brain is hooked up funky. MIKE BRITT - 6 good minutes of comedy. You can also see Mike this May in his very own special on the Comedy Central. And that's it. Enjoy the weekend. Who do I like in the Final Four? Oklahoma, Kansas, Indiana, or Maryland? I like Oklahoma vs. Maryland in the Finals with Maryland taking the crown. But don't go betting your money on what I say. I also liked Gonzaga and Texas Tech in the Final Four. Robin Williams; and Sevendust. PLUS: Dave meets a stranger; George Clarke's Water Conservation Tips; Biff Henderson's Fun With A Bullhorn; and a Top Ten list presented by the New York National Guard. It's a Wahoo doubleheader today. I'm taking Friday off. Dave opens by telling a story of playing with one of the little kids running around his dressing room. No, not an intern - younger - like 5 years old. Dave was eating some Easter cookies in the back room and planned on coming out with a mouthful of the baked goodie. Dave thought the young child would get a kick out of this. The kids love Dave. They often think he's Lenny Schultz. So Dave came through the door with a mouthful of cookie and is face to face with a guy with a camera. Who was the guy? Nobody knows. Somebody said he was looking for the Deegen. BIFF HENDERSON'S FUN WITH A BULLHORN: Biff spent a recent Friday riding a van through the streets of Manhattan yelling things to passersby through a bullhorn. It's always fun and tonight's was no different. - Biff telling a couple of toughs (sarcastically) that they really look cool smoking. - Biff trying to catch grapes in his mouth thrown by a street vending green grocer. - Biff advises pedestrians that since Mayor Bloomberg is out of town, it is OK to jaywalk. The pedestrians take Biff's word for it and almost get ran over by a yellow cab. The driver probably heard the Mayor was out of town and figured it was OK to drive nuts. - "Hi-dee Hi-dee Hi-dee Hi" -- on the 3rd attempt, Biff finally receives his desired response, "Hi-dee Hi-dee Hi-dee Hi" - Biff telling shoppers on the Toys R Us Ferris Wheel that they are not going anywhere, just around around and around. - Biff tells a jogger to quit the running. "You're going to die, anyway." - Biff asks if he could wear another guy's hat. - Biff finally catching the grape in his mouth. There may have been more but that was most of it. During the short Q and A between Dave and Biff, we learned that Biff just returned from Yankee Spring Training. His visit is penciled in to air sometime next week. Check your local listings. The other day while peering out his window, Dave noticed something being built on the roof of the nearby building. It looked like a roller coaster. No such luck. It's some kind of deadly x-ray radiation-emitting tower. Worse news today - two more went up, now there's three. One of them seems to be aimed directly at Dave. What's Dave to do? I don't know, but I have a feeling he and I may be switching offices. GEORGE CLARKE'S WATER CONSERVATION TIPS: New York City is in a drought emergency so our building engineer George Clarke has decided to launch a new segment on our show about water conservation. We see George by the new guest entrance. He has chocolate powder on his face and he is holding a canister of Swiss Miss Instant Cocoa. George's advice: "I don't need water to enjoy Swiss Miss Cocoa." He then takes a spoonful of the chocolatey powder. That's how George is conserving water. We go back to George, who takes another spoonful. A slight cough spews out a cloud of the Swiss Miss. George exits. TOP TEN: RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE NATIONAL GUARD - And here to present tonight's top ten list, 10 servicemen and women from the New York National Guard. The National Guard is the nation's only community-based defense force, established to support and defend the Constitution of the United States and to provide trained and disciplined forces for domestic emergencies. Those taking part: #10. Staff Sergeant Catherine Noble #9. Staff Sergeant Justin Rubin #8. Specialist Raymond Ramirez #7. Senior Airmen Jennifer Rollins #6. Specialist Jennifer Durkin #5. Specialist David Lee #4. Senior Airmen Lorie Santangelo #3. Tech Sergeant Todd Labrayko #2. Specialist Godfrey Lay #1. Sergeant Keith Meyers. Dave almost skipped #5, Specialist David Lee. This had nothing to do with Mr. Lee's line of "Reading lame comedy lists on second-rate late-night shows." Back from commercial, Dave wishes he had the National Guard with him before the show. ROBIN WILLIAMS: In Death to Smoochy - it opens Friday. He's usually going 90 MPH in a 35 MPH world. He had a few lines I particularly enjoyed. "Ever notice how George Bush doesn't speak so well when Cheney is drinking a glass of water?" And after the pretzel incident, Secret Service could be heard yelling into their lapel, "'Gilligan' is down. 'Gilligan' is down." We see a clip from Death to Smoochy where Robin Williams wrestles a little person, the same little person who once wrestled Cosmo Kramer. Seems like this little person can't get along with others. Have you ever been on a talk show and in need of a good out? Just do what Robin did - tell a story that ends with "What the 'givl'" (to decipher 'givl', use the patent-pending formula used by the Wahoo Gazette - simply look to the left of each letter in "givl' on your keyboard.) SEVENDUST: From their CD, Animosity, Sevendust sang "Angel's Son." And that was our show for Thursday March 28, 2002. Wahoo EXTRA! Milton Berle passed away at the age of 93. I remember spending many nights watching Milton Berle on the TV during my youth. I looked in one of the research department's TV history books to gain some basic casual info on this television legend. I couldn't believe what I found. While I knew Milton was a giant in television in the 1950's, the Milton program I remember watching was The Milton Berle Show that only ran from September 1966 to January 1967! FOUR MONTHS! I always thought this show was on for years when I was a kid. Four months? He hosted a Friday night variety hour on ABC that was canceled in mid-season. The show featured Irving Benson as an off-stage heckler whom I remember quite well. One short I remember was Milton dressed as a cowboy preparing for a gun duel against another cowboy. Milton says, "This town is too small for the both of us." The camera widens to reveal the two standing in a matchbox-sized town. Though Mr. Berle had an illustrious career in television that spanned decades, I'll always remember him most as Louie the Lilac. Saw this sign outside the Madison Square Garden this morning- "April and May - Large room for rent" (ask a sports fan) Could I be wrong? In yesterday's Wahoo Gazette I said it was Boston Red Sox Marty Barrett who was named 1986 World Series MVP during the 9th inning of Game 6. The Award was taken back when the Mets rallied to win that game and then game 7 and Met Ray Knight was crowned the MVP. Two Bosox fans wrote today telling me it was Bruce Hurst who was prematurely proclaimed the MVP and not Marty Barrett. I've always gone on memory with this so I may be wrong but I really don't think so. (Though I'm sure that Red Sox fans know better than I do.) So who was it? Was it Hurst or Barrett? I did very poorly in the NCAA tournament pool, but if we had an NIT tournament pool I would have kicked butt. I have not yet seen the movie Rookie but I know I'll love it. I'm such a sucker for baseball movies, that is, if the actors can actually play the game. And standby, here comes Friday's show: Friday, March 29, 2002 / Show #1779 Andy Dick; and comedian Mike Britt. PLUS: The CBS Mailbag, and a Top Ten List. *CBS MAILBAG* - once again, Biff will be pointing out the cities of origin on a map from where the letters came and points will be awarded for each city he correctly locates. In addition, as a bonus tonight, Biff will be playing for someone. Who will it be tonight? Biff reaches in to a nearby fishbowl and pulls out a name. LETTER #1: from Lee Ann Ellis of Blacksburg, Virginia: "Hi Dave, I think Tony Mendez is one hot dude! Do you think you could get him to take his shirt off?" Just as Tony is about to do the deed, he is interrupted by another well-known Late Show/CBS staffer. LETTER #2: from Mark Carroll of Naples, Florida: "Dear Dave, have you ever thought about getting a tattoo?" Dave says he did get a tattoo not too long ago but is now starting to regret it. LETTER #3: from Paul Papa of Plainfield, Connecticut: "Dear Dave, Who makes more money, Biff or Alan?" Interesting question. I wonder that, too. Both are hard working employees. It's too bad Dave can't say that for everyone on the staff. LETTER #4: from Troy Cunningham of New Salisbury, Indiana: "Hey Dave, What is your best pick-up line?" Dave admits to not being much of a "pick-up line" kind of guy, but our announcer Alan Kalter has had some success with the ladies with his stockpile of pick-up lines. TOP TEN: Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear In A Cab - So good, we did it twice. We revisit this funny videotaped top ten topic in an all-new segment. ANDY DICK: Though flashy and comedic, he doesn't have the 'Bea Arthur pizzazz." Have you ever seen his MTV Andy Dick Show? His description of one episode certainly piqued my interest. After Andy's visit, Dave thinks Andy's brain is hooked up funky. MIKE BRITT - 6 good minutes of comedy. You can also see Mike this May in his very own special on the Comedy Central. And that's it. Enjoy the weekend. Who do I like in the Final Four? Oklahoma, Kansas, Indiana, or Maryland? I like Oklahoma vs. Maryland in the Finals with Maryland taking the crown. But don't go betting your money on what I say. I also liked Gonzaga and Texas Tech in the Final Four.


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