DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Geena Davis; and Robert Plant. PLUS:
Know Your Current Events; a top ten list; and a special
visit from Jay Thomas.
It's Tuesday
night and time for America's Fastest Growing Quiz Sensation -
Know Your Current
Events.
Tonight's Categories - 5
big ways to win big. - Know Your Current
Events - Know Your Cuts of
Meat - Know Your "Big Brother 3"
Houseguests - Know Your Weber Gas
Grills - Know Your Short
Presidents
CONTESTANT
#1. Someone from Lawrenceville, Georgia. I missed her
name. She chooses Know Your Cuts of Meat. First meat: What is this cut of meat? Answer: Lamb leg whole. Dave thinks we may have
done this one last week. We didn't. Last week we had a smoked
ham whole. Second meat: What is this cut of
meat? Answer: Beef rump roast boneless.
For her work, our contestant earns a box of meat from
Lobel's. The best dang meat this writer ever cooked for
himself. To learn more about the Lobel's, check out their
website at www.lobels.com. Order some today.
CONTESTANT #2: Jason from Seattle:
Jason is in the drug making business. Says he makes drugs for
rheumatoid arthritis sufferers. (And Maxwell Smart told
family members he was a shoe salesman and worked for a greeting
card company.) He used to be in the beer making business.
6'6" Jason chooses Know Your Short
Presidents. First Short President
Question: Name this President who stood 5 feet, 6
inches. Answer: John Adams.
(Wahoo Presidential Fun Fact: Our 2nd President. A
Federalist. Wife's name: Abigail. John Adams felt his greatest
act as President was preventing a war with France. French
seizures of U.S. merchant ships and demands for payment of
bribes caused many Americans to favor war with France.) Second Short President Question: How tall was our
shortest President, James Madison? Answer:
5 feet, 4 inches. (Wahoo
Presidential Fun Fact: Our 4th President. A Democratic
Republican. Wife's name: Dolly Payne Todd.
TheWar of 1812 is sometimes known as 'Mr. Madison's War.' In
this war there were some stunning U.S. victories on land and sea
against the powerful British. Madison had to flee when British
troops burned Washington D.C.)
CONTESTANT
#3: Jennifer from Scranton, Pennsylvania. Did you
"Play the Dave"? Wahoo readers should
have known what was coming next. Dave asks, "Scranton, is
that by Amish Country?" It's the only thing he knows
about Pennsylvania. Jennifer works for a pharmaceutical firm.
Dave wonders if there is some pharmaceutical convention in town,
as Jason also worked in the "pharmacy" business.
Before the show, Jennifer dined at the ESPN Zone. This
surprised Dave. "You're the first person I ever heard of
that actually ate at the ESPN Zone." Jennifer's category:
Know Your Weber Gas Grills. Weber Gas
Grill #1: Which Weber Gas Grill is
this? Answer: The Summit 450. Weber Gas Grill #2: The lid of the Genesis Silver B
is available in what three colors? Answer: Black,
green, and dark blue.
And that was
KYCE. I have an idea for KYCE if we
do it next week. Watch for the new wrinkle the next time we
play. Remember it came from me.
It's time for
the Annual Late Show Holiday Quarterback
Challenge. We do it every holiday season and it is
always great fun. Dave introduces our old friend Jay
Thomas who will try to knock the top piece off the
Late Show Christmas Tree. Sitting atop the tree:
A pizza pie and a meatball. Jay misses on his first toss but
nails it on his second. The top piece weakly and droopingly
hangs down from the impact. Dave and Jay take turns going for
the kill. Ever the good host, Dave lets Jay Thomas do the
honors. It's fun every time we do it.
TOP TEN: Interesting Facts About Air
Conditioning - The air conditioner was invented 100
years ago by a man named Willis Carrier. Carrier Air
Conditioners is headquartered in the Syracuse, New York area.
My niece Kim interns there. #9. Invented by the same person who invented Hair
Conditioner. #7. Ancient Egyptians employed
a form of primitive air conditioning called,
"Wind." #3. Concept of variable
settings introduced by Ed Low and Jim High.
GEENA DAVIS: Leggy and luscious. Geena gave birth
to her first back in April. Nice rebound. The delivery
was kind of hectic as she was "rushed" through Los
Angeles rush hour to the hospital. Took two hours. A
few years ago Geena was ranked in the top 15 women in the
country for archery and narrowly missed making the 2000 Olympic
team. (Dang! We could have had her bow and arrow the
Christmas tree top piece.) She's hoping to make the 2008
team. Geena also is a member of Mensa, that genius club.
The club consists of the top 2% in terms of intelligence.
After taking the "Are You A Genius" tests as a kid in
the Reader's Digest, Geena decided to take the real
test back in the '80's. She passed and is now known as the
Leggy Archer Genius. I never took those tests. I never got
past "Life In These United States." Geena
stars once again in the mouse movie, Stuart Little
2. It opens on Friday (today). My girls loved the
first one. We'll be going to this one, too.
ACT 5: LATE SHOW VIDEO PERSONALS:
Let's meet eligible Late Show staffer, camera
operator Gary Mintz.
"Hi,
I'm Gary. I enjoy spy novels, body surfing and Montgomery Clift
movies. I collect Buffalo nickels and I have a brown belt in
Kung-Fu. If you're a single female who's been looking for love
in all the wrong places, give me a call and I'll bring your life
in 'focus.'
Hyundai commercial with
Jethro Tull music. Arghh.
ROBERT PLANT: Grammy award-winning singer and a
bona fide Rock and Roll legend. His brand new CD is called,
Dreamland. Robert Plant sings "Darkness,
Darkness."
And that was our show for
Thursday July 18, 2002.
Do Pink Flamingos Cook Their
Shrimp? How can the good
people put their trust in James Traficant to make
good sound judgements when he decides to wear his hair the way
he does?
ABC local news promo - it lasted no
more than 5 seconds. News anchor comes on and says,
"Botox injection disaster. Report at 11."
SNAPPLE UNDER THE CAP FUN FACT OF THE
DAY: #1. A queen bee can lay
800-1500 eggs per day.
A SUTCFFOTD from earlier
in the week: #11. "Flamingos turn pink
from eating shrimp." I then received this from
Tiffany O'Connell of Arvada, Colorado:
"I'm writing you because I had a
thought about the Snapple under the cap fact for today. I too
have heard that flamingo's turn pink because they eat shrimp,
but raw shrimp is grey not pink. Do the flamingos cook of the
shrimp first?"
Here's our
answer: Donna Stec:
"Flamingos turn pink from eating shrimp because of
the beta carotene in the shrimp. Flamingos that don't eat shrimp
are white. Beta carotene is the same stuff that's in carrots so
if we humans ate nothing but carrots our skin would be a nice
shade of orange."
Lee
Cain of Sarasota, FL
"Wild flamingos are pink because they eat
carotene-containing brine shrimps (one species) or blue-green
algae (another species). Lacking such food in zoos, they turn
white unless fed caroteniferous substitutes--carrots, beets, or
red peppers in the old days, or the additive canthaxanthin
today."
Long-winded Bill
Rinehart of Toledo, Ohio chimes in:
"I can tell you that most experts on the Internet
agree that it's the carotene in the shrimp (or other shrimp-like
crustaceans) that turn the Flamingo's feathers pink, just like
the carotene in a diet of only carrots turns humans' skin
orange. Some websites point to the algae in the water, but this
is disputed by the effect of diet on Flamingos in captivity.
When Flamingos in zoos are fed a diet low in carotene, their
feathers become white. The enchantedlearning.com
website also includes the following fascinating tidbit about
Flamingos and their diet:
'The flamingo eats
insects, crustaceans (shrimp-like animals), and tiny plants like
diatoms and algae. The flamingo eats by putting its head
upside-down into the water looking backwards. It takes in water
that is rich in tiny organisms and filters nutrients from the
water with a comb-like organ on its
tongue.'"
And now
my carotene story: My friend Ann tends to be a bit
obsessive. One day she decided to go on a diet and to keep her
mouth busy, she ate nothing but carrots. This went on for
weeks. Her skin began to turn a hint of orange. She became
concerned so she called her friend the nurse. After hearing of
the symptoms and the diet, the nurse went to her nurse book.
She told Ann to check the soles of her feet. The next thing
the nurse heard was a blood-curdling scream from the other end
of the phone. The sole of Ann's feet were a bright pumpkin
orange. Too many carrots was the diagnosis.
Cameo Mention of a
Non-Wahoo Reader It's fast becoming
a favorite among non-Wahoo readers. It's something
I call CAMEO MENTION OF A NON-WAHOO READER. How
do I find these people? It's not easy since there are so few
out there. Doing a google search, I type in a city and then a
last name, any name. Whatever comes up becomes my non-Wahoo
reader of the day. Today I am going to try: City - Houston,
Texas. Name - Alexander.
CAMEO
MENTION OF A NON-WAHOO READER From Houston, Texas
and wide receiver for the University of Colorado Buffaloes, it's
Corey Alexander. This concludes
another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A NON-WAHOO READER
Friday's
Mailbag Where is
Biff? LETTER #1: From
Martin Johansson of Stockholm,
Sweden: "Hi Dave! Sometimes you say '...and
here is a copy of tonight's top ten list.' Where do you store
the original?" LETTER #2: From
Bob Throisinsky of Greenville,
Delaware: "What do you do in your spare
time?" LETTER #3: From
Shawn Hinrichs of Chicago,
Illinois: "Dear Dave, What do you do with the
letters that don't get answered?" LETTER #4: From Len Dawson of Wellanc,
Ontario, Canada: "I'm interested in playing the
stock market. Do you have any tips for me?"
Wahoo
EXTRA! SNAPPLE
UNDER THE CAP FUN FACT OF THE DAY #14. "Camel's milk does not curdle."
I click on the Yankee game
Wednesday night. They are playing the Detroit Tigers. I notice
the stadium in at near capacity. The far reaches of left and
right field in the upper deck are filled. Even the left field
bleachers are filled, and they aren't opened too often. I
don't know why there is such a big crowd. Thursday morning I
find out. 49,116 came out to Yankee Stadium because it was
"Jason Giambi Celebriduck Night." It's
a doll of Jason Giambi with the body of a duck. Good grief.
Geena Davis; and Robert Plant. PLUS:
Know Your Current Events; a top ten list; and a special
visit from Jay Thomas.
It's Tuesday
night and time for America's Fastest Growing Quiz Sensation -
Know Your Current
Events.
Tonight's Categories - 5
big ways to win big. - Know Your Current
Events - Know Your Cuts of
Meat - Know Your "Big Brother 3"
Houseguests - Know Your Weber Gas
Grills - Know Your Short
Presidents
CONTESTANT
#1. Someone from Lawrenceville, Georgia. I missed her
name. She chooses Know Your Cuts of Meat. First meat: What is this cut of meat? Answer: Lamb leg whole. Dave thinks we may have
done this one last week. We didn't. Last week we had a smoked
ham whole. Second meat: What is this cut of
meat? Answer: Beef rump roast boneless.
For her work, our contestant earns a box of meat from
Lobel's. The best dang meat this writer ever cooked for
himself. To learn more about the Lobel's, check out their
website at www.lobels.com. Order some today.
CONTESTANT #2: Jason from Seattle:
Jason is in the drug making business. Says he makes drugs for
rheumatoid arthritis sufferers. (And Maxwell Smart told
family members he was a shoe salesman and worked for a greeting
card company.) He used to be in the beer making business.
6'6" Jason chooses Know Your Short
Presidents. First Short President
Question: Name this President who stood 5 feet, 6
inches. Answer: John Adams.
(Wahoo Presidential Fun Fact: Our 2nd President. A
Federalist. Wife's name: Abigail. John Adams felt his greatest
act as President was preventing a war with France. French
seizures of U.S. merchant ships and demands for payment of
bribes caused many Americans to favor war with France.) Second Short President Question: How tall was our
shortest President, James Madison? Answer:
5 feet, 4 inches. (Wahoo
Presidential Fun Fact: Our 4th President. A Democratic
Republican. Wife's name: Dolly Payne Todd.
TheWar of 1812 is sometimes known as 'Mr. Madison's War.' In
this war there were some stunning U.S. victories on land and sea
against the powerful British. Madison had to flee when British
troops burned Washington D.C.)
CONTESTANT
#3: Jennifer from Scranton, Pennsylvania. Did you
"Play the Dave"? Wahoo readers should
have known what was coming next. Dave asks, "Scranton, is
that by Amish Country?" It's the only thing he knows
about Pennsylvania. Jennifer works for a pharmaceutical firm.
Dave wonders if there is some pharmaceutical convention in town,
as Jason also worked in the "pharmacy" business.
Before the show, Jennifer dined at the ESPN Zone. This
surprised Dave. "You're the first person I ever heard of
that actually ate at the ESPN Zone." Jennifer's category:
Know Your Weber Gas Grills. Weber Gas
Grill #1: Which Weber Gas Grill is
this? Answer: The Summit 450. Weber Gas Grill #2: The lid of the Genesis Silver B
is available in what three colors? Answer: Black,
green, and dark blue.
And that was
KYCE. I have an idea for KYCE if we
do it next week. Watch for the new wrinkle the next time we
play. Remember it came from me.
It's time for
the Annual Late Show Holiday Quarterback
Challenge. We do it every holiday season and it is
always great fun. Dave introduces our old friend Jay
Thomas who will try to knock the top piece off the
Late Show Christmas Tree. Sitting atop the tree:
A pizza pie and a meatball. Jay misses on his first toss but
nails it on his second. The top piece weakly and droopingly
hangs down from the impact. Dave and Jay take turns going for
the kill. Ever the good host, Dave lets Jay Thomas do the
honors. It's fun every time we do it.
TOP TEN: Interesting Facts About Air
Conditioning - The air conditioner was invented 100
years ago by a man named Willis Carrier. Carrier Air
Conditioners is headquartered in the Syracuse, New York area.
My niece Kim interns there. #9. Invented by the same person who invented Hair
Conditioner. #7. Ancient Egyptians employed
a form of primitive air conditioning called,
"Wind." #3. Concept of variable
settings introduced by Ed Low and Jim High.
GEENA DAVIS: Leggy and luscious. Geena gave birth
to her first back in April. Nice rebound. The delivery
was kind of hectic as she was "rushed" through Los
Angeles rush hour to the hospital. Took two hours. A
few years ago Geena was ranked in the top 15 women in the
country for archery and narrowly missed making the 2000 Olympic
team. (Dang! We could have had her bow and arrow the
Christmas tree top piece.) She's hoping to make the 2008
team. Geena also is a member of Mensa, that genius club.
The club consists of the top 2% in terms of intelligence.
After taking the "Are You A Genius" tests as a kid in
the Reader's Digest, Geena decided to take the real
test back in the '80's. She passed and is now known as the
Leggy Archer Genius. I never took those tests. I never got
past "Life In These United States." Geena
stars once again in the mouse movie, Stuart Little
2. It opens on Friday (today). My girls loved the
first one. We'll be going to this one, too.
ACT 5: LATE SHOW VIDEO PERSONALS:
Let's meet eligible Late Show staffer, camera
operator Gary Mintz.
"Hi,
I'm Gary. I enjoy spy novels, body surfing and Montgomery Clift
movies. I collect Buffalo nickels and I have a brown belt in
Kung-Fu. If you're a single female who's been looking for love
in all the wrong places, give me a call and I'll bring your life
in 'focus.'
Hyundai commercial with
Jethro Tull music. Arghh.
ROBERT PLANT: Grammy award-winning singer and a
bona fide Rock and Roll legend. His brand new CD is called,
Dreamland. Robert Plant sings "Darkness,
Darkness."
And that was our show for
Thursday July 18, 2002.
Do Pink Flamingos Cook Their
Shrimp? How can the good
people put their trust in James Traficant to make
good sound judgements when he decides to wear his hair the way
he does?
ABC local news promo - it lasted no
more than 5 seconds. News anchor comes on and says,
"Botox injection disaster. Report at 11."
SNAPPLE UNDER THE CAP FUN FACT OF THE
DAY: #1. A queen bee can lay
800-1500 eggs per day.
A SUTCFFOTD from earlier
in the week: #11. "Flamingos turn pink
from eating shrimp." I then received this from
Tiffany O'Connell of Arvada, Colorado:
"I'm writing you because I had a
thought about the Snapple under the cap fact for today. I too
have heard that flamingo's turn pink because they eat shrimp,
but raw shrimp is grey not pink. Do the flamingos cook of the
shrimp first?"
Here's our
answer: Donna Stec:
"Flamingos turn pink from eating shrimp because of
the beta carotene in the shrimp. Flamingos that don't eat shrimp
are white. Beta carotene is the same stuff that's in carrots so
if we humans ate nothing but carrots our skin would be a nice
shade of orange."
Lee
Cain of Sarasota, FL
"Wild flamingos are pink because they eat
carotene-containing brine shrimps (one species) or blue-green
algae (another species). Lacking such food in zoos, they turn
white unless fed caroteniferous substitutes--carrots, beets, or
red peppers in the old days, or the additive canthaxanthin
today."
Long-winded Bill
Rinehart of Toledo, Ohio chimes in:
"I can tell you that most experts on the Internet
agree that it's the carotene in the shrimp (or other shrimp-like
crustaceans) that turn the Flamingo's feathers pink, just like
the carotene in a diet of only carrots turns humans' skin
orange. Some websites point to the algae in the water, but this
is disputed by the effect of diet on Flamingos in captivity.
When Flamingos in zoos are fed a diet low in carotene, their
feathers become white. The enchantedlearning.com
website also includes the following fascinating tidbit about
Flamingos and their diet:
'The flamingo eats
insects, crustaceans (shrimp-like animals), and tiny plants like
diatoms and algae. The flamingo eats by putting its head
upside-down into the water looking backwards. It takes in water
that is rich in tiny organisms and filters nutrients from the
water with a comb-like organ on its
tongue.'"
And now
my carotene story: My friend Ann tends to be a bit
obsessive. One day she decided to go on a diet and to keep her
mouth busy, she ate nothing but carrots. This went on for
weeks. Her skin began to turn a hint of orange. She became
concerned so she called her friend the nurse. After hearing of
the symptoms and the diet, the nurse went to her nurse book.
She told Ann to check the soles of her feet. The next thing
the nurse heard was a blood-curdling scream from the other end
of the phone. The sole of Ann's feet were a bright pumpkin
orange. Too many carrots was the diagnosis.
Cameo Mention of a
Non-Wahoo Reader It's fast becoming
a favorite among non-Wahoo readers. It's something
I call CAMEO MENTION OF A NON-WAHOO READER. How
do I find these people? It's not easy since there are so few
out there. Doing a google search, I type in a city and then a
last name, any name. Whatever comes up becomes my non-Wahoo
reader of the day. Today I am going to try: City - Houston,
Texas. Name - Alexander.
CAMEO
MENTION OF A NON-WAHOO READER From Houston, Texas
and wide receiver for the University of Colorado Buffaloes, it's
Corey Alexander. This concludes
another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A NON-WAHOO READER
Friday's
Mailbag Where is
Biff? LETTER #1: From
Martin Johansson of Stockholm,
Sweden: "Hi Dave! Sometimes you say '...and
here is a copy of tonight's top ten list.' Where do you store
the original?" LETTER #2: From
Bob Throisinsky of Greenville,
Delaware: "What do you do in your spare
time?" LETTER #3: From
Shawn Hinrichs of Chicago,
Illinois: "Dear Dave, What do you do with the
letters that don't get answered?" LETTER #4: From Len Dawson of Wellanc,
Ontario, Canada: "I'm interested in playing the
stock market. Do you have any tips for me?"
Wahoo
EXTRA! SNAPPLE
UNDER THE CAP FUN FACT OF THE DAY #14. "Camel's milk does not curdle."
I click on the Yankee game
Wednesday night. They are playing the Detroit Tigers. I notice
the stadium in at near capacity. The far reaches of left and
right field in the upper deck are filled. Even the left field
bleachers are filled, and they aren't opened too often. I
don't know why there is such a big crowd. Thursday morning I
find out. 49,116 came out to Yankee Stadium because it was
"Jason Giambi Celebriduck Night." It's
a doll of Jason Giambi with the body of a duck. Good grief.