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			Wednesday, October 30, 2002 Show #1895
			By Michael Z. McIntee	Change Text Color: Black \| White


	Warren Zevon. PLUS: Dr. Phil’s Words of Wisdom; Snickers update; a top ten list; Is This Anything?; and Ways New York City is Cutting Back. Dave revisits his new catch phrase. The old one he borrowed from George Miller: “In My Pants!” Dave’s new one came out of last night’s program: “What is this, Vassar!?” DR. PHIL’S WORDS OF WISDOM: “So I’m telling you now, I’ve had an affair.” SNICKERS UPDATE: Last night Dave promoted the tasty candy bar all night long. He then mentioned, “If Snickers doesn’t send us a truckload of these tomorrow, something’s wrong.” Dave expected to have trouble parking this morning due to all the Snickers bars in the parking lot. What did we get? Zippo. Nothing. Not a call. Nothing from a courier. Dave warns if we don’t get the Snickers soon, he’ll start talking bad about the product. When Dave raved about the M&M’s, the M&M people sent Dave M&M’s. For Dave, there is nothing better than the plain M&M’s. I have to agree. He adds that the peanut M&M’s are OK in a pinch but don’t quite measure up to the Plain. Now M&M’s are expanding their product line. How does Dave like these? “They’re no good.” There are the new crunchy M&M’s. “What makes them crunchy?” Dave wonders. Dave believes they have some new cheese flavored M&M’s, too. Dave wishes they would just stick with the Plain. There is nothing better than the Plain. Dave gives the Snickers people 24 hours to come through with some Snickers. In defense of Snickers, this is a tough time of year to come up with some spare Snickers. Halloween takes a heavy toll on inventory. It’s like looking for roses the night before Valentine’s Day. But a deal’s a deal – free advertising calls for free Snickers. WAYS NEW YORK CITY IS CUTTING BACK: The city is in a financial mess and needs to cut back to make their budget. Here are some ways the city is cutting back. - Times Square watch salesmen are now selling knockoffs of fake Rolexes. - Department of Corrections: slashing food bills by allowing inmates to go home for lunch. - Police Department: horses phases out; mounted police now ride guys in horse costumes. Paul raises an interesting point about the Police Department’s plan. You would think that would be more expensive. - Mike Piazza: He forcing himself to stick to a strict monthly budget. By the way, Mr. Piazza would like to let everyone know that so far this off-season he remains totally not gay. IS THIS ANYTHING: It returns for the first time since July 24. Tonight’s Is This Anything – a guy balancing on a roller with a tray of 6 glasses with a spoon in each. He then flips the 6 spoons and has them land back in the glasses. If it worked it would have been something but since he didn’t get them all, it was not anything. It COULD have been something but it wasn’t. TOP TEN: SIGNS YOU’RE TOO OLD TO BE TRICK-OR-TREATING. #7. Every three houses you need a smoke break. #5. You’re dressed as America’s favorite movie star, Tyrone Power. WARREN ZEVON: His life has changed radically over the past few weeks. He’s been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. His time left with us is short. Warren explains he hasn’t been to a doctor in 20 years, a phobia he explains “that didn’t pay off.” His dentist, Dr. Stan, convinced him he should when Warren complained about a continuous shortness of breath. Friends tried to tell him it was only stress. “Don’t you watch ‘The Sopranos’?” they asked. I guess Tony Soprano had shortness of breath due to stress, so why not Warren? How is Warren feeling now? He explains not as bad as the doctors say I should. How has the news changed him? Warren says it’s made him appreciate everything a little bit more whether it’s eating a sandwich or spending time with his kids. Some of Warren’s album titles seem eerily prophetic. His most recent CD, named prior to the diagnosis, is entitled, My Ride’s Here. Other CD’s include I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead and Life Will Kill You. He says he would bring copies of his albums to his doctors and say to them about his cancer, "This is why I’m not so shocked." Warren sang 3 songs. 1. From his CD, Genius: The Best of Warren Zevon – “Mutineer”. 2. From his most recent CD, My Ride’s Here – “Genius”. 3. And from his Genius CD – “Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner”. I was singing “Roland” the rest of the night. During the commercial breaks, Paul and the band played: 1. “Johnny Strikes Up The Band” 2. “Lawyers, Guns, and Money” 3. “Veracruz” 4. “Searching For A Heart” 5. “Desperadoes Under the Eaves” One of the few things I learned in college was the genius of Warren Zevon. My college chum Jay Hafner of Virginia turned me on to Warren Zevon’s “Excitable Boy.” My favorite part of the album is during “Werewolves of London.” Just after the line, “I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s, his hair was perfect,” Warren lets out a little yelp. It’s that tiny yelp that I always wait for in the song. It never fails to bring a smile to my face and take me back to those days of ‘higher’ learning. Warren is on my short list of favorites. In no particular order, the list includes Springsteen, Cocker, Zevon, Aretha, Ray Charles, Van Morrison, John Fogerty. If I were to consider some of today’s newer groups and performers, the list wouldn’t change a bit. Warren Zevon: best lyrics in music. And that was our show for Wednesday October 30, 2002. Wahoo Sports EXTRA! The Mets named Art Howe their new manager on Monday and he’s all ready come up with a great idea for New York. The Rally Rat. Last Saturday was Silent Soccer in my girls’ soccer league. Silent Soccer is the one game of the year where neither the parents nor the coaches can yell encouragement or instructions to the players. It’s an idea to “give the game back to the players and allows them to be in control of their own play making skills, judgmental capabilities, and on-field communications.” It also acts as a reminder to parents that the game is for the kids and that “unacceptable behavior that some spectators exhibit is unacceptable.” The coaches give out lollipops before the game as a symbolic reminder for silence. I try to keep pretty quiet during the games but when forced into silence, I was made aware of how much I do “try to help” on the sidelines. Silent Soccer – I like it. Contrary to what many may believe, we have never knowingly scheduled a Silent Late Show. SNAPPLE UNDER-THE-CAP FUN FACT OF THE DAY: #91.“There are more telephones than people in Washington, D.C.” And now the humorous comment: “So it’s impossible to get a busy signal?” I was watching the Jet/Brown game last Sunday. Jet receiver Laveranues Coles catches a pass and runs in for a touchdown. Crossing the goal line, he simply jogs through the end zone without a dance, without gyrations, without making a fool of his self. I make a mental note of the Jet receiver, Laveranues Coles. “I like this guy,” I say to myself. Oops. I was too quick in my assessment. Coles runs out of the endzone to the 10-yard line and does a LAME* wiggle and jiggle. (LAME* – “Look At Me Exhibition”) I won’t be home till late on Halloween so I won’t be there to give out the treats. Instead, I’ll leave an empty bowl on the stoop with a sign, “Take One.” Late Show Halloween Costumes Thursday night! Warren Zevon. PLUS: Dr. Phil’s Words of Wisdom; Snickers update; a top ten list; Is This Anything?; and Ways New York City is Cutting Back. Dave revisits his new catch phrase. The old one he borrowed from George Miller: “In My Pants!” Dave’s new one came out of last night’s program: “What is this, Vassar!?” DR. PHIL’S WORDS OF WISDOM: “So I’m telling you now, I’ve had an affair.” SNICKERS UPDATE: Last night Dave promoted the tasty candy bar all night long. He then mentioned, “If Snickers doesn’t send us a truckload of these tomorrow, something’s wrong.” Dave expected to have trouble parking this morning due to all the Snickers bars in the parking lot. What did we get? Zippo. Nothing. Not a call. Nothing from a courier. Dave warns if we don’t get the Snickers soon, he’ll start talking bad about the product. When Dave raved about the M&M’s, the M&M people sent Dave M&M’s. For Dave, there is nothing better than the plain M&M’s. I have to agree. He adds that the peanut M&M’s are OK in a pinch but don’t quite measure up to the Plain. Now M&M’s are expanding their product line. How does Dave like these? “They’re no good.” There are the new crunchy M&M’s. “What makes them crunchy?” Dave wonders. Dave believes they have some new cheese flavored M&M’s, too. Dave wishes they would just stick with the Plain. There is nothing better than the Plain. Dave gives the Snickers people 24 hours to come through with some Snickers. In defense of Snickers, this is a tough time of year to come up with some spare Snickers. Halloween takes a heavy toll on inventory. It’s like looking for roses the night before Valentine’s Day. But a deal’s a deal – free advertising calls for free Snickers. WAYS NEW YORK CITY IS CUTTING BACK: The city is in a financial mess and needs to cut back to make their budget. Here are some ways the city is cutting back. - Times Square watch salesmen are now selling knockoffs of fake Rolexes. - Department of Corrections: slashing food bills by allowing inmates to go home for lunch. - Police Department: horses phases out; mounted police now ride guys in horse costumes. Paul raises an interesting point about the Police Department’s plan. You would think that would be more expensive. - Mike Piazza: He forcing himself to stick to a strict monthly budget. By the way, Mr. Piazza would like to let everyone know that so far this off-season he remains totally not gay. IS THIS ANYTHING: It returns for the first time since July 24. Tonight’s Is This Anything – a guy balancing on a roller with a tray of 6 glasses with a spoon in each. He then flips the 6 spoons and has them land back in the glasses. If it worked it would have been something but since he didn’t get them all, it was not anything. It COULD have been something but it wasn’t. TOP TEN: SIGNS YOU’RE TOO OLD TO BE TRICK-OR-TREATING. #7. Every three houses you need a smoke break. #5. You’re dressed as America’s favorite movie star, Tyrone Power. WARREN ZEVON: His life has changed radically over the past few weeks. He’s been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. His time left with us is short. Warren explains he hasn’t been to a doctor in 20 years, a phobia he explains “that didn’t pay off.” His dentist, Dr. Stan, convinced him he should when Warren complained about a continuous shortness of breath. Friends tried to tell him it was only stress. “Don’t you watch ‘The Sopranos’?” they asked. I guess Tony Soprano had shortness of breath due to stress, so why not Warren? How is Warren feeling now? He explains not as bad as the doctors say I should. How has the news changed him? Warren says it’s made him appreciate everything a little bit more whether it’s eating a sandwich or spending time with his kids. Some of Warren’s album titles seem eerily prophetic. His most recent CD, named prior to the diagnosis, is entitled, My Ride’s Here. Other CD’s include I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead and Life Will Kill You. He says he would bring copies of his albums to his doctors and say to them about his cancer, "This is why I’m not so shocked." Warren sang 3 songs. 1. From his CD, Genius: The Best of Warren Zevon – “Mutineer”. 2. From his most recent CD, My Ride’s Here – “Genius”. 3. And from his Genius CD – “Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner”. I was singing “Roland” the rest of the night. During the commercial breaks, Paul and the band played: 1. “Johnny Strikes Up The Band” 2. “Lawyers, Guns, and Money” 3. “Veracruz” 4. “Searching For A Heart” 5. “Desperadoes Under the Eaves” One of the few things I learned in college was the genius of Warren Zevon. My college chum Jay Hafner of Virginia turned me on to Warren Zevon’s “Excitable Boy.” My favorite part of the album is during “Werewolves of London.” Just after the line, “I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s, his hair was perfect,” Warren lets out a little yelp. It’s that tiny yelp that I always wait for in the song. It never fails to bring a smile to my face and take me back to those days of ‘higher’ learning. Warren is on my short list of favorites. In no particular order, the list includes Springsteen, Cocker, Zevon, Aretha, Ray Charles, Van Morrison, John Fogerty. If I were to consider some of today’s newer groups and performers, the list wouldn’t change a bit. Warren Zevon: best lyrics in music. And that was our show for Wednesday October 30, 2002. Wahoo Sports EXTRA! The Mets named Art Howe their new manager on Monday and he’s all ready come up with a great idea for New York. The Rally Rat. Last Saturday was Silent Soccer in my girls’ soccer league. Silent Soccer is the one game of the year where neither the parents nor the coaches can yell encouragement or instructions to the players. It’s an idea to “give the game back to the players and allows them to be in control of their own play making skills, judgmental capabilities, and on-field communications.” It also acts as a reminder to parents that the game is for the kids and that “unacceptable behavior that some spectators exhibit is unacceptable.” The coaches give out lollipops before the game as a symbolic reminder for silence. I try to keep pretty quiet during the games but when forced into silence, I was made aware of how much I do “try to help” on the sidelines. Silent Soccer – I like it. Contrary to what many may believe, we have never knowingly scheduled a Silent Late Show. SNAPPLE UNDER-THE-CAP FUN FACT OF THE DAY: #91.“There are more telephones than people in Washington, D.C.” And now the humorous comment: “So it’s impossible to get a busy signal?” I was watching the Jet/Brown game last Sunday. Jet receiver Laveranues Coles catches a pass and runs in for a touchdown. Crossing the goal line, he simply jogs through the end zone without a dance, without gyrations, without making a fool of his self. I make a mental note of the Jet receiver, Laveranues Coles. “I like this guy,” I say to myself. Oops. I was too quick in my assessment. Coles runs out of the endzone to the 10-yard line and does a LAME* wiggle and jiggle. (LAME* – “Look At Me Exhibition”) I won’t be home till late on Halloween so I won’t be there to give out the treats. Instead, I’ll leave an empty bowl on the stoop with a sign, “Take One.” Late Show Halloween Costumes Thursday night!


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