Sitting in with the band, Greg Adams. His new CD is entitled, Midnight Morning. On the show tonight is Chef Daniel Boulud. His "Daniel" restaurant was recently voted the #1 restaurant in New York City by the Zagat's Guide to New York City Restaurants. He also has a book, entitled, "Cooking in New York City." Once you try one of his tasty dishes at his restaurant, you can buy the book and try making it at home. Dave adds that you won't have a chance in hell in making it anywhere as good as Chef Boulud. Tonight, Chef Boulud will be making a smoked salmon salad, with potatoes, leeks, and a creamy caviar sauce.

It was mighty cold today in NYC, but that's to be expected during the holidays. Dave wants to take a look to see if it still is chilly and to see examples of the New York City holiday magic it is so famous for. We turn on the external camera to witness a normal day on Broadway. Suddenly the eye steers towards Santa coming around the corner. Santa is carrying a bat. Ol' Saint Nick begins to pound a payphone with the bat and then quickly scooping up the fallen coins. What could make loveable Santa do such a thing? Drugs, probably.

Dave received a Christmas present from a staffer today, one he can actually come in handy. It's the "Trent Lott Apology-A-Day calendar. January 1st has the excuse, "It was a mistake of the head, not of the heart." January 2nd's apology reads, "I was drunk." If each year lasted only two days, the Trent Lott Apology-A-Day calendar would be dandy.

DR. PHIL'S WORDS OF WISDOM: He offered two tonight.
-"Don't you ever talk to my wife that way again."
-"I'm just ready to fight you, buddy."

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH SADDAM HUSSEIN AND HATS?
The guy loves hats, and why not? He can afford them. Dave holds up a series of photos as we inspect the many hats of the crazed dictator. We see him with a:
-beret
-fedora
-rabbit cossack
-milan crease
-the cufia
-a plantation Panama hat
-the aficionado Pamana hat
-and the visor.

If he could only love his own people as much as he loves a hat, the world would be a much nicer place.

And why did the audience applaud after some of the photos? Do hats really deserve applause?

Yes, it was a silly piece but I defy you to ever look at Saddam again without noticing his hat.

Dave reads some of the recipes from Chef Boulud's cookbook. Like Dave said, there ain't a chance in hell you can make any of it as well as Boulud.

WILL IT FLOAT: with the Will It Float Players. Tonight's item: a 10-inch cheese log. It's food; it's fat; therefore it will float, according to Dave and Paul. The girls drop the item into the tank and it...SINKS.
Dave and Paul both are wrong. Hopefully it won't put a gray cloud over the Will It Float post-party.

TOP TEN: Signs There's Something Terribly Wrong at McDonald's
#10. You order the Filet-O-Fish and the cashier makes the sign of the cross.
#5. One of your "French Fries" is wearing a wedding ring.

#5 was greeted with groans which turned to laughter. Yes, that's humor for you. Yesterday's disgusting image is today's comedy fodder.

DENZEL WASHINGTON: What's The Deal With Denzel Washington and Yankee Hats? You can't blame him. The Yankee NY is the best logo in sports. Dave asks Denzel about his family and we learn his offspring are quite the talented group, both in the arts, the smarts, and the sports. And he seems to be the proud papa.
Denzel himself did not start acting until he was a Junior in college. Why so late? "Because I was flunking out in everything else." He took an acting class because he thought he could get a good grade in it. He ended up liking it and he was on his way. I hope to find my calling some day.
Denzel makes his directorial debut in the film, "Antwone Fisher." It opens Friday in selected cities. Denzel won this year's Best Actor Academy Award for his performance in "Training Day." He bested Russell Crowe ("A Beautiful Mind"), Sean Penn ("I Am Sam"), Will Smith ("Ali"), and Tom Wilkinson ("In The Bedroom"). I saw none of these films. The movies I saw last year were "Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius" and "Shrek."

Yes, I know I said about Denzel's offspring being "quite the talented group, BOTH in the arts, the smarts, and the sports. I listed 3 just to see if you were paying attention. Most of you weren't. You just come to the Wahoo Gazette to see if you're the day's cameo mention.

ACT 5: If They Had Trent Lott's Hair
-Dwight D. Eisenhower
-The Dalia Lama
-Shelley Winters
-And Dave Letterman

CHEF DANIEL BOULUD: He prepared the food at the Late Show Christmas party Monday night. Even though it was top-of-the-line all the way, I was slightly disappointed. Why? There were no potato chips. I've never been to a party that had no potato chips. Other than that, the food was out of this world.
Tonight Chef Daniel Boulud made a salad of smoked salmon, potatoes, and leeks, with a creamy caviar sauce. The ingredients included smoked salmon, potatoes, leeks, and a creamy caviar sauce. Add vodka to taste. Dave did just that, taking plenty of pulls from the vodka bottle. After a few slugs, Dave amorously says to Chef Boulud, "You're a beautiful man." After another pull, Dave looks over to Paul and says, "It's hard to believe we used to hate the Ruskies."
At the completion of the dish, Paul is invited over to taste both the salad and the vodka. Paul drinks from the vodka and nearly turns the color of his suit. He stumbles but is able to regain his footing in time to direct the CBS orchestra from center stage to close the ACT. Afterwards when no one was looking, scores of Late Show staffers circled the caviar with a ready spoon.

And that was our show for Wednesday, December 18, 2002. Wahoo EXTRA!

Where was Kobe Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakers? He was supposed to be on tonight! Unfortunately, Kobe took ill during the day and we were lucky enough to get Chef Boulud at the last minute. I thought it would have been easier to simply get Kobe's backup, Kareem Rush.

I was hoping to print the recipe for Chef Boulud's Smoked Salmon Salad but a spare "Cooking in New York City" cookbook could not be found. This usually happens around the holidays.

Darlene Love sings "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" Friday night. When will Paul do his "O Holy Night" is unknown.

McDonald's showed a quarterly loss for the first time in their existence and pressure is being put on its employees to move more product. I went to the McDonalds around the corner to order a burger and coke this morning and the cashier guy said, "Do you want a Big Mac, a Filet-O-Fish, an egg McMuffin, a quarter pounder with cheese, a chocolate shake and fries with that?"

Things are getting so bad, in front of the McDonalds down the street is a Golden Arch.

As hard as it may be to believe, the drinks are loaded down with even more ice.

The Happy Meal is now called The Kinda Glad Meal.

The Hamburglar is now knocking off Wendy's.

Vanilla Ice was laid off.

Ronald McDonald no longer wears the size-23 red Nikes, he now wears the size-23 red Skips.