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Wednesday, March 19, 2003
Show #0
By Michael Z. McIntee Change Text Color:
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GUEST HOST: BONNIE HUNT.
Bonnie’s guests tonight are Carson Daly; Eddie Griffin; Chef Ron Ben-Israel; and music from Fabolous.

“I’m Bonnie Hunt filling in for the vacationing Tom Dreesen.”
“Dave and I never dated, despite what he keeps telling people.”
“People in the balcony, don’t think you can get away with anything just because you have a substitute.”
“It was impossible getting a cab today in the city. Well, sure, all the cab drivers working as Mid-East experts on CNN.
“Big news: They’re eliminating the red carpet entrance from Sunday night’s Oscar telecast. It’s the first thing they’ve eliminated from the Oscars since, well, since Dave.”


Once at the desk, Bonnie says she wants to get to know Paul a little better.
Bonnie: “How long have you been working with Dave?” “21 years,” Paul says.
Paul says “You said you never dated Dave...”
Bonnie quickly adds, “Yes, but we slept together.”
The Academy Awards announced they are doing away with the red carpet entrance due to the war. (Somebody should tell them the war will be over by then.) Paul said he was interviewed on the red carpet at the Grammys by Joan Rivers. Paul says Joan was pretty nice to him, only making slight fun of his long, purple frock.
Paul said he was thinking of saying to Joan: “Nice facelift, they have licensed doctors for that, you know.”
Bonnie: “She has that ‘I’m surprised at my own surprise party’ look”
At the Grammys, Paul introduced Vanessa Carter. Vanessa had told Paul that she was once a waitress and waited on Paul. Paul was concerned and nervous by this but had to ask: “Did I leave a good tip?” Vanessa said, “It was not bad.” A relieved Paul took that as a win.

Bonnie comments on well-dressed CBS Orchestra. Paul explains that after the show, the band is going to the big shin-dig honoring Les Moonves. Bonnie says she knows Les Moonves. “He canceled one of my shows.”

CARSON DALY: Carson is wearing an extra long tie tonight. You know what the say about a guy with a long tie. (It says that he doesn’t know how to tie a tie.)
He also has a smudge on his jacket lapel. I blamed in on the New York City pigeons. Bonnie sees it too and says it’s from her makeup and quickly does a quick lapel clean up. Bonnie thanks Carson for getting dressed in a suit for the show. She likes it when a guest takes the time to pretty himself up. It’s a sign of respect. Says Bonnie, “You look hot!” Returning the volley, Carson says Bonnie “is on fire.”
Carson is a big golf nut. He surprised me with his story that he went to college on a golf scholarship. (Now that I typed that, I have some recollection that Carson may have said that once before on our show.) He recently played at a Celebrity-Pro Golf tourney at the famed Pebble Beach. On the 18th hole in front of a huge crowd and with the television cameras rolling, Carson holed an 80-foot chip shot. We see a clip of the chip. Darn nice shot. I bet he relives that shot quite a bit.
Carson doesn’t do the MTV TRL all that much anymore but you can see him nightly on his Last Call with Carson Daly at 1:35 AM.

EDDIE GRIFFIN: Eddie is wearing loose-fitting warm-up clothes; sweat pants, zippered sweater, sneakers. Bonnie says she likes when a guest decides to dress casual for the show. It’s a sign of openness and a care-free attitude. Eddie Griffin says he likes Bonnie’s school teacher look-thing going on.
Did Eddie celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? Eddie says, “Yeah, I had a lot of green in my pocket.” Eddie adds that the Irish want everyone to wear green and celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. But he doesn’t see anyone getting dressed in black, red, and green celebrating Martin Luther King’s Birthday. Eddie says he had a medical emergency a few years back. During a rehearsal of "Malcolm and Eddie,” Eddie suffered a heart attack. He was only 30 at the time and had no idea what was going on. His high cholesterol count clogged up an artery. Eddie recreates the scene. A guy from payroll came over to a withering Eddie and said, “You don’t look so good.” Eddie mumbles something about a heart attack. The payroll guy says he will go get some help and walks away. Eddie says, “Considering how much I’m paying you, maybe you should run.” Eddie is taken to the ‘amblance’ and once inside notices the EKG machine is showing a flat line. Eddie was dead but his brain was still working. (I know a lot of people with just the opposite problem) He also noticed the two ‘amblance’ workers simply chatting away and not monitoring the EKG machine. Eddie was internally screaming, “Hey! I’m dead over here.” Eventually they get the jumper cables and zap him to get his heart started again.
Thankfully, Eddie survived to make his new film, DysFunKtional Family. It’s a behind-the-scenes documentary film of Eddie, his family, and his stand-up comedy performance. It opens April 4th.

CHEF RON BEN-ISRAEL: “The Cartier of the Pastry Set” – he is the owner of Ron Ben-Israel Cakes. Tonight he’ll be teaching Bonnie Hunt how to ice a cake. We’ll be using Goldie Hawn’s wardrobe from Laugh-In. Bonnie dropped one of the flowers into some powder. Chef Ron called it “Disco Powder.” Oh yeah, I remember the disco powder from back in the 70’s. I used to see it a lot in the disco bathrooms. Chef Ron and Bonnie attempt to decorate the 3-tiered cake but they don’t have much success. Not till time was up did I realize the cake was real. I fully expected it to be before the segment started but it certainly didn’t look real while they were doing the decorating. At the end, Chef Ron and Bonnie sampled the decorated cake. It looked yummy and during the commercial break I discovered it was.

FABOLOUS: From his new CD, Street Dreams, Fabolous and special guest X.O. sang “Damn” and “This Is My Party.” Luckily we had some cake left over for Faboluos’s party. I’m not sure but I think that song was originally done by Vic Damone.

And that was our show for Wednesday March 19, 2003.

Wahoo EXTRA!

Nice job by Bonnie. Good fun between her and Paul to open the show. Funny ad-lib lines throughout. No awkward or uncomfortable lulls. She kept things moving and entertaining, and I guess that’s the job of a talk show host.

Did you see the video clip of Saddam Hussein on the news this morning? Many are saying it wasn’t really him but one of his doubles. I tend to agree. It looked more like former Met manager Bobby Valentine in his dugout disguise.

Don’t worry if you didn’t get that last joke. It was meant for very few.

I’m picking Seton Hall in the college basketball “Not Invited Tournament”, better known as the N.I.T.

Hey, on the bright side of this whole Iraqi mess, Major League Baseball will now open the America’s Pastime season right here in America. Due to the threat of war, the March 25th game between the Oakland A’s and the Seattle Mariner, which was to have been played in Japan, has been canceled.
How many baseball fans in America snapped their fingers and said “Aw, shucks” when they heard the news? How many? I’ll tell you how many. NOT ONE!

From yesterday’s Wahoo Gazette, I queried: One question about the NCAA March Madness. Louisville plays Austin Peay in the first round. Is it Austin “Pay” or Austin “Pee”? I’ve heard it both ways. And how do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky? Is it Loo-ville, or Louie-ville?

First, from James Kosic of Mountain View, quoting the “Sporting News” concerning Austin Peay:
It’s Pee. They have the best chant: "Let's go, Peay," Even better in the days of James "Fly" Williams, when fans used to shout, "The Fly is open; Let's go, Peay."
Meanwhile, I received the following to my question of “How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky? Is it Loo-ville, or Louie-ville?”

Ken Huff said it’s “Lou-a-ville”
Tony Marks said it’s “Loo-uh-vull”
Ron Claver, Jr. said it’s “Louie-ville”
Marietta, Georgia, Dave Murphy said it’s “Loo-ee-ville”
And Kentucky native Steve Hodge says it’s “Loo-uh-vull.”

Sorry, you guys. You’re all wrong. The capital of Kentucky is pronounced “Frank-furt.” HA! YOU’VE BEEN Xed”

I would like to thank Judy Havener, Steve Hayman, Boston Bill, Phil Carter, Tim Kalil, Jack Anderson, Terry Johnston, Bob Thiem, Andrea Gallo, Steve Shoup, Judy Wade, Dan Rooney, Diana Crinnion, “Who da hecka is Bill Lehecka, Mark Nelson, Dough Lynott, Marie Vincent, Adam Skoglund, Beth from Barrington, Rhode Island, Ken Hussar, and Al Alpert for supplying the correct answer.

Uh, I change my mind. Instead of Seton Hall in the N.I.T., I’ve decided to go with St. John’s.

From yesterday’s Wahoo:
“I’m looking through my local ‘Rockland County Journal News’ newspaper this morning. I come across the printed report of the recent Town of Clarkstown Town Board meeting. Halfway down I read the following:
‘Install 10 ‘No Turn On Red’ signs at 7 locations in Nanuet and New City at a cost of $450 per sign.”
Could anyone in the business of town government and finance please tell me how and why putting up one sign would cost $450?

Andrew Parkes of Albuquerque, NM writes:
On your question about the cost of putting up signs, I am a purchasing agent for the State of NM. As some other readers may have told you, a HUGE portion of the cost will be administrative, Putting out a bid, scheduling work to be done etc....
However, another reason might be shown in the example of a joke which is an old one among purchasing people.
Three contractors die and go to heaven. St Peter says in order to get in they each have to give a bid on a project. The first guy, who is from a small town looks at the project, takes out his calculator and tells St. Peter $1000. The next guy, who is from a medium size town looks at the project and says $1500. The last guy, who is from New York doesn't even look at the project and says $2000. St. Peter asks him how he could bid without looking at the project. The guy says "that’s easy, $500 for you, $500 for me and we hire the first guy."
Hmmm. So, much of the “$450 a sign” price goes towards Administrative costs, putting out a bid, scheduling work to be done, etc. But the people who are responsible for administrative costs, putting out a bid, scheduling the work to be done, etc, aren’t they already on the town’s payroll? Isn’t the above part of their job description and part of their daily responsibilities? Why would this cost more money?
I only know a lot about baseball. Everything else in the world is beyond me.

THIS DATE AND SHOW NUMBER IN HISTORY.
Today’s Date: March 19.
Today’s Show Number: GH17.
So what happened on MARCH 19, GH17?
Sorry, but Google has no record of such date.
And that’s how we play THIS DATE AND SHOW NUMBER IN HISTORY.





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