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			Thursday, August 28, 2003 Show #2031
			By Michael Z. McIntee	Change Text Color: Black \| White


	John McEnroe; Tony Hawk; and Rooney. PLUS: CBS Mailbag; our President tells a joke; a gift for Dave from the Crew; and a top ten list. TONY HAWK - Skateboarding legend - he's a 10-time X-Games Gold Medalist - has invented more than 80 skateboard tricks - first skateboarder to land a "900" - Considered the Michael Jordan of skateboarding All night long, Tony Hawk will be performing his skateboarding jumps out on 53rd Street. He will be starting from atop a 30-foot ramp. And if you don't have the time or space to do your own skateboarding down a 30-foot ramp, check out Tony's Acti-vision Video Game, "Tony Hawk's Underground." In honor of Dave's 10 years on the LATE SHOW at CBS, the crew and staff purchased a Lifetime Model 6 Carbon Microphone manufactured in the late 1920's or early 30's by the Lifetime Corporation of Toledo, Ohio. The microphone is an antique, with a handmade "Columbia" heading reproduction. It is a lovely piece of history. GEORGE W. BUSH JOKE THAT'S NOT REALLY A JOKE: Our president is talking about the position of Mayor. He likes to tease Mayors. They've got a tough job. If a pothole isn't filled, they'll hear about it from somebody down at the coffee shop. That doesn't happen to a President much. "And just keep the garbage picked up." CBS MAILBAG: Tonight, Stephanie is dressed as a Scottish bagpiper. Why? Because Dave made her. LETTER #1: From Duane Ott, Columbus, Ohio: "Hey, Dave - Do you enjoy going bowling?" He does, but tennis is more his sport. That's why he's so excited about the U.S. Open. Although Pete Sampras and the Williams sisters are not participating this year, USTA officials are doing everything they can to keep fans interested. They put out a commercial. "It's time once again for tennis' most thrilling event - the U.S. Open. Watch as tennis' best players clash! There's Agassi! A guy who kind of looks like Pete Sampras. Andre Agassi. A woman who uses the same racket as Serena Williams. And the incredible Andre Agassi! - Agassi is unconfirmed - The U.S. Open. Catch it!" LETTER #2: From Phil Golovchenko of London, Ontario, Canada: "Dave, What is your favorite part of summer?" Oddly enough, a lot of people are saying their favorite part of the summer was the big blackout. They say they felt a real community spirit as they tried to help each other out. Our building engineer George Clarke had a memorable experience. George concurs, and thinks back to that day. George was working backstage like any other day. Little did he suspect that the power grid was about to fail. When the lights went out, (screen goes black) George was pleased to say there was no panic. As so many other people discovered that day, the blackout really brought out the best in all of us. Hours later, when the power finally came back on, we knew we'd never forget that time we spent together. The lights come on and we see George chewing on Biff's arm. There is nothing left to Biff's arm but bone. Biff is agitated. "Hey, come on, man! Why'd you eat my arm?" George apologizes, but not before he finishes another bite. LETTER #3: From Renato Luis of Brazil: "Dear Dave, Are you crazy?" Dave says he's not crazy, but thinks all those people in California running for Governor are. Dave saw something today that convinced him that they've completely lost their minds. It was a message from the California Recall Coalition: "The California recall election is an impressive example of what an aroused citizenry can accomplish. But it doesn't have to stop with the Governor's race. Sign the petition to recall Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. A message from the California Recall Coalition." LETTER #4: From Patricia Garilao of Windsor, Ontario, Canada: "Hey Dave, What is your most prized possession/item?" Dave says, "You're looking at it. The show is the most important thing in his life and this week we're celebrating 10 years at CBS. And in honor of the 10th Anniversary, Paul prepared something special. Ladies!" Out dance 4 lovely, high-kicking dancers. They do their kicks and shakes and moves, then make their way over to Paul. At song's end, they kiss Paul and drop a banner which reads, "Happy 10th Anniversary, Paul." Dave, not amused, says, "Of course, anniversaries can also be a time to make some changes." Paul gets the message, and suggests to the girls that this would be a good time to leave. After the last letter, Dave asks Stephanie if there is something she wants to do. Stephanie has nothing in mind. Dave says, "Don't you want to go out and bother some people?" Stephanie thinks it over and says, "I guess." While we think it over what to do with Stephanie, we go back outside to Tony Hawk. He will be performing his first jump, called, "The Mute Tweak." Tony roars down the ramp and up and flies high through the air to another receiving ramp. The Mute Tweak. It's similar to the Tweak, but you can't hear this one. Back from commercial, we are ready for another Tony Hawk jump. Next in the lineup is the Ollie. It's just like the Mute Tweak but it is performed without hands. Tony shoves off and heads down the ramp. Up and over he goes, but loses his board in flight. Tony takes a spill on the other side but I don't think this is the first time this has happened. Tony knows how to fall. He brushes himself off and says that he is OK. TOP TEN: DUMB GUY EXPLANATIONS FOR MARS BEING CLOSE TO EARTH #7. Who cares? I'm gonna go shoot rats at the dump. #6. Mars? Oh, I thought you said Marv. Following the Top Ten, Tony Hawk is ready for his next leap. This time he'll be performing the Indy 360. The 360 tells me there is a full revolution involved. This time Tony hits it perfectly. I give the 360 a 10. JOHN MCENROE: Opinionated and always has something to say. He charges a topic the way he used to charge a tennis ball. Aggressively. John is currently working as commentator for CBS and the USA Network covering the U.S. Open. Dave asks what John thinks about Pete Sampras retiring at the age of 32. McEnroe says he's like Joe Dimaggio leaving at the top of his game, leaving on top. Sampras' last match was at last year's U.S. Open where he won the championship. John says he was talking to Sampras' father the other day and his dad thinks that Pete will take 6 months off and then make a comeback. It's hard for the greats to turn their back on what's been their passion for their whole life. Sugar Ray Leonard came back. Gordie Howe made a comeback. Cher came back. Pete may do the same. Dave has John rank his favorite Grand Slam tournaments. Coming from Queens, McEnroe says he's got to put the U.S. Open on top. Wimbledon is next, with all its tradition. Then the French, and then the Australian Open. McEnroe adds that with grass courts being such a fast tennis surface (Wimbledon), it's easier to play on since the rallies are shorter. With the hard courts, the rallies are longer and the ground is harder, putting a great pounding on the body. Who does McEnroe like in the U.S. Open? He's leaning towards Roddick and Capriati. This is what I like about McEnroe. "Who do you like?" is answered with one person in the mens’ and one person in the womens’. He gives his honest answer. Most wouldn't, ESPECIALLY someone who is covering the match. I fully expected a "Well, since I'm covering the Open, I can't really say who I'm picking. I must remain neutral." They would then name 6 players to keep an eye on. Then I remembered it was John McEnroe and was not at all surprised with his forthright response. Johnny Mac is always good to watch. Tony Hawk is still outside and his next jump is presented by Stephanie high up on the ramp. Stephanie announces that Tony's next jump will be "The Flip." Tony cringes, "Ohh... I never did that before." Once senses he doesn't want to do this maneuver but I'm sensing a real showman here. Tony flies down the ramp and does a flip in midair. He goes one way; his skateboard goes another. Tony lands hard on the other side. He gets up and says, "You know, I don't think I'll be doing that one again." Tony shows a burn he received on his side from the crash landing. While Tony gets himself together, we go to commercial. ACT 5: Tony and Stephanie ride the lift up and down from the ramp. ROONEY: From their debut CD, Rooney, Rooney performed "I'm Shakin'". Rolling Stone magazine named them one of the "10 Artists To Watch." I liked them. To close the show, Tony Hawk joins Dave at the desk. He seems like a real regular guy. Don't forget to get the Acti-Vision Video Game "Tony Hawk's Underground" and be sure to watch for the Boom Boom Huck Jam Tour starting October 2nd and running through mid-November. And that was our show for Thursday August 28, 2003. Wahoo EXTRA! I asked the other day if anyone had advice on how to plant bulbs this fall for blooming in the spring. Now that I’ve mastered the art of the bird feeder, bulbs are my next venture. Thanks to all who wrote in with your ideas. By the way, by a show of hands, how many out there thought you were the only one who wrote in a hilarious joke about planting light bulbs? Thursday night, the Ball State football Cardinals ran its record to 1-0, defeating Indiana State 31-7. And in other MAC football news, the Northern Illinois Huskies defeated the No. 13th ranked Maryland Terrapins 20-13 in OT. MAC Football – the new conference to watch! Why do we have to call the Ten Commandments religious? Can't we just consider it historic? Like, "No, it's not here in front of a government building for religious reasons. It's here for historical reasons." Friday's "Will It Float" item: A gallon jug of Elmer's Glue. Discuss. Also Friday night: A LATE SHOW 10th Anniversary edition of *Know Your Current Events. And a special Top Ten list. John McEnroe; Tony Hawk; and Rooney.* PLUS: CBS Mailbag; our President tells a joke; a gift for Dave from the Crew; and a top ten list. TONY HAWK - Skateboarding legend - he's a 10-time X-Games Gold Medalist - has invented more than 80 skateboard tricks - first skateboarder to land a "900" - Considered the Michael Jordan of skateboarding All night long, Tony Hawk will be performing his skateboarding jumps out on 53rd Street. He will be starting from atop a 30-foot ramp. And if you don't have the time or space to do your own skateboarding down a 30-foot ramp, check out Tony's Acti-vision Video Game, "Tony Hawk's Underground." In honor of Dave's 10 years on the LATE SHOW at CBS, the crew and staff purchased a Lifetime Model 6 Carbon Microphone manufactured in the late 1920's or early 30's by the Lifetime Corporation of Toledo, Ohio. The microphone is an antique, with a handmade "Columbia" heading reproduction. It is a lovely piece of history. GEORGE W. BUSH JOKE THAT'S NOT REALLY A JOKE: Our president is talking about the position of Mayor. He likes to tease Mayors. They've got a tough job. If a pothole isn't filled, they'll hear about it from somebody down at the coffee shop. That doesn't happen to a President much. "And just keep the garbage picked up." CBS MAILBAG: Tonight, Stephanie is dressed as a Scottish bagpiper. Why? Because Dave made her. LETTER #1: From Duane Ott, Columbus, Ohio: "Hey, Dave - Do you enjoy going bowling?" He does, but tennis is more his sport. That's why he's so excited about the U.S. Open. Although Pete Sampras and the Williams sisters are not participating this year, USTA officials are doing everything they can to keep fans interested. They put out a commercial. "It's time once again for tennis' most thrilling event - the U.S. Open. Watch as tennis' best players clash! There's Agassi! A guy who kind of looks like Pete Sampras. Andre Agassi. A woman who uses the same racket as Serena Williams. And the incredible Andre Agassi! - Agassi is unconfirmed - The U.S. Open. Catch it!" LETTER #2: From Phil Golovchenko of London, Ontario, Canada: "Dave, What is your favorite part of summer?" Oddly enough, a lot of people are saying their favorite part of the summer was the big blackout. They say they felt a real community spirit as they tried to help each other out. Our building engineer George Clarke had a memorable experience. George concurs, and thinks back to that day. George was working backstage like any other day. Little did he suspect that the power grid was about to fail. When the lights went out, (screen goes black) George was pleased to say there was no panic. As so many other people discovered that day, the blackout really brought out the best in all of us. Hours later, when the power finally came back on, we knew we'd never forget that time we spent together. The lights come on and we see George chewing on Biff's arm. There is nothing left to Biff's arm but bone. Biff is agitated. "Hey, come on, man! Why'd you eat my arm?" George apologizes, but not before he finishes another bite. LETTER #3: From Renato Luis of Brazil: "Dear Dave, Are you crazy?" Dave says he's not crazy, but thinks all those people in California running for Governor are. Dave saw something today that convinced him that they've completely lost their minds. It was a message from the California Recall Coalition: "The California recall election is an impressive example of what an aroused citizenry can accomplish. But it doesn't have to stop with the Governor's race. Sign the petition to recall Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. A message from the California Recall Coalition." LETTER #4: From Patricia Garilao of Windsor, Ontario, Canada: "Hey Dave, What is your most prized possession/item?" Dave says, "You're looking at it. The show is the most important thing in his life and this week we're celebrating 10 years at CBS. And in honor of the 10th Anniversary, Paul prepared something special. Ladies!" Out dance 4 lovely, high-kicking dancers. They do their kicks and shakes and moves, then make their way over to Paul. At song's end, they kiss Paul and drop a banner which reads, "Happy 10th Anniversary, Paul." Dave, not amused, says, "Of course, anniversaries can also be a time to make some changes." Paul gets the message, and suggests to the girls that this would be a good time to leave. After the last letter, Dave asks Stephanie if there is something she wants to do. Stephanie has nothing in mind. Dave says, "Don't you want to go out and bother some people?" Stephanie thinks it over and says, "I guess." While we think it over what to do with Stephanie, we go back outside to Tony Hawk. He will be performing his first jump, called, "The Mute Tweak." Tony roars down the ramp and up and flies high through the air to another receiving ramp. The Mute Tweak. It's similar to the Tweak, but you can't hear this one. Back from commercial, we are ready for another Tony Hawk jump. Next in the lineup is the Ollie. It's just like the Mute Tweak but it is performed without hands. Tony shoves off and heads down the ramp. Up and over he goes, but loses his board in flight. Tony takes a spill on the other side but I don't think this is the first time this has happened. Tony knows how to fall. He brushes himself off and says that he is OK. TOP TEN: DUMB GUY EXPLANATIONS FOR MARS BEING CLOSE TO EARTH #7. Who cares? I'm gonna go shoot rats at the dump. #6. Mars? Oh, I thought you said Marv. Following the Top Ten, Tony Hawk is ready for his next leap. This time he'll be performing the Indy 360. The 360 tells me there is a full revolution involved. This time Tony hits it perfectly. I give the 360 a 10. JOHN MCENROE: Opinionated and always has something to say. He charges a topic the way he used to charge a tennis ball. Aggressively. John is currently working as commentator for CBS and the USA Network covering the U.S. Open. Dave asks what John thinks about Pete Sampras retiring at the age of 32. McEnroe says he's like Joe Dimaggio leaving at the top of his game, leaving on top. Sampras' last match was at last year's U.S. Open where he won the championship. John says he was talking to Sampras' father the other day and his dad thinks that Pete will take 6 months off and then make a comeback. It's hard for the greats to turn their back on what's been their passion for their whole life. Sugar Ray Leonard came back. Gordie Howe made a comeback. Cher came back. Pete may do the same. Dave has John rank his favorite Grand Slam tournaments. Coming from Queens, McEnroe says he's got to put the U.S. Open on top. Wimbledon is next, with all its tradition. Then the French, and then the Australian Open. McEnroe adds that with grass courts being such a fast tennis surface (Wimbledon), it's easier to play on since the rallies are shorter. With the hard courts, the rallies are longer and the ground is harder, putting a great pounding on the body. Who does McEnroe like in the U.S. Open? He's leaning towards Roddick and Capriati. This is what I like about McEnroe. "Who do you like?" is answered with one person in the mens’ and one person in the womens’. He gives his honest answer. Most wouldn't, ESPECIALLY someone who is covering the match. I fully expected a "Well, since I'm covering the Open, I can't really say who I'm picking. I must remain neutral." They would then name 6 players to keep an eye on. Then I remembered it was John McEnroe and was not at all surprised with his forthright response. Johnny Mac is always good to watch. Tony Hawk is still outside and his next jump is presented by Stephanie high up on the ramp. Stephanie announces that Tony's next jump will be "The Flip." Tony cringes, "Ohh... I never did that before." Once senses he doesn't want to do this maneuver but I'm sensing a real showman here. Tony flies down the ramp and does a flip in midair. He goes one way; his skateboard goes another. Tony lands hard on the other side. He gets up and says, "You know, I don't think I'll be doing that one again." Tony shows a burn he received on his side from the crash landing. While Tony gets himself together, we go to commercial. ACT 5: Tony and Stephanie ride the lift up and down from the ramp. ROONEY: From their debut CD, Rooney, Rooney performed "I'm Shakin'". Rolling Stone magazine named them one of the "10 Artists To Watch." I liked them. To close the show, Tony Hawk joins Dave at the desk. He seems like a real regular guy. Don't forget to get the Acti-Vision Video Game "Tony Hawk's Underground" and be sure to watch for the Boom Boom Huck Jam Tour starting October 2nd and running through mid-November. And that was our show for Thursday August 28, 2003. Wahoo EXTRA! I asked the other day if anyone had advice on how to plant bulbs this fall for blooming in the spring. Now that I’ve mastered the art of the bird feeder, bulbs are my next venture. Thanks to all who wrote in with your ideas. By the way, by a show of hands, how many out there thought you were the only one who wrote in a hilarious joke about planting light bulbs? Thursday night, the Ball State football Cardinals ran its record to 1-0, defeating Indiana State 31-7. And in other MAC football news, the Northern Illinois Huskies defeated the No. 13th ranked Maryland Terrapins 20-13 in OT. MAC Football – the new conference to watch! Why do we have to call the Ten Commandments religious? Can't we just consider it historic? Like, "No, it's not here in front of a government building for religious reasons. It's here for historical reasons." Friday's "Will It Float" item: A gallon jug of Elmer's Glue. Discuss. Also Friday night: A LATE SHOW 10th Anniversary edition of *Know Your Current Events*. And a special Top Ten list.


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