Dave walks on stage. Says, “Last night at 11:58, I became a father.”

He recaps his yesterday.
- At a quarter to 7, Regina and Dave arrive at the hospital. Dave figures, “birth, lunch, and go home.”
- At 11:45 that night, Dave witnessed child birth. He informs us, “Wow! What a biology lesson that is!” He turns to Paul. “Do you know where those babies come from?”
- Dave wonders how women do this. Dave wonders WHY women do this. Dave can’t figure out how it is physically possible.
- Dr. Lou was with Dave the whole day. He arrived at the hospital carrying a stack of menus. Dr. Lou is familiar with these things and was prepared.
- Later in the day around 5:00, Dr. Lou suggests Sushi. Dr. Lou gets Sushi. He’s loaded with the stuff. 8 feet to Dave’s left is a woman screaming in labor and to his right is Dr. Lou with Sushi.
- Daytime turns into night. Dr. Lou says, “How ‘bout Chinese?” Chinese is ordered. At 9:00, Dave, Dr. Lou, and the staff dine on Chinese.
- Dr. Lou takes a walk with Dave to the Post-Partum room. There they find a big tub of chocolate chip cookies. Dr. Lou sits and eats some cookies. He has Dave join in.
- 11:58 – Dave becomes a father. I’m not sure but Paul was probably doing the top ten at this moment.
- Dave describes the moment: “I could never imagine being a part of something that turned out this beautiful.”
- The baby is 9 pounds, 11 ounces; 21 inches long . . . or tall. 21 inches in length.
- Dave says when the baby cries, he looks like Edward G. Robinson. (“Yeah, see.”)
- Dave says to Paul, “Any idea what we named him? . . . . . Saddam. I know it’s controversial.”
- Dave reveals the name of his and Regina’s new born. They named the boy after Dave’s father who died at the age of 57. Dave is 56 and just had his first child. The boy is named Harry Joseph Letterman.

And Dave’s got photos.
1. a shot of Dave and Dr. Lou in scrubs.
2. a shot of Dave (Dave was testing the camera)
3. a photo of Harry Joseph Letterman.
4. a photo of Dave holding his boy.

All very sweet. All very happy for Dave and Regina.

And that wasn’t all. We had more good news. Out on 53rd Street was motorcyclist Indian Larry doing motorcycle stunt tricks all night long. We find Indian Larry on 53rd revving his bike. Dave asks Indian Larry what kind of bike he’s riding. Indian Larry says, “I can hardly hear you.” Dave says to us, “Apparently the bike is a ‘Hardly Hear ya.’” Oh, boy, I enjoyed that.
The first death-defying stunt Indian Larry will perform is the “Lazy-Boy.” Although I looked forward to the “Lazy-Boy,” I found it odd that anything considered death-defying would be called “Lazy-Boy.” Indian Larry rides down 53rd Street on his bike. He leans all the way back and puts his feet up on the handlebars to steer. It’s the Lazy Boy.

We’ll be back with Indian Larry for more later in the show.

We have a George W. Bush Trio.
1. George W. Bush Moment of Confusion
2. George W. Bush Tough-Guy Lip Curl
3. George W. Bush Bad Prediction

My thoughts: I wish I had the “Hail to the Chief” royalties.

Back to Indian Larry for another stunt. This one is called Bike Surfing. Dave asks, “Shouldn’t you be wearing a helmet, Larry?” Larry succinctly answers, “No.”
Larry storms down 53rd Street. He gets up and stands vertical on the seat as he surfs the byway.

Back from commercial, Dave says, “Every year on the boy’s birthday, we’ll have on Indian Larry.”

TOP TEN: Reasons I’m Excited To Be A Father.
#7. Only the most cold-hearted state trooper would ticket a guy with an adorable baby.
#4. Great new excuse for not hanging out with Regis.
#2. Two words: Swedish Nanny.

REGIS PHILBIN: Ah, Regis. Always the perfect guest. He wants to know if Dave was emotional at the moment of birth. Dave says all day long, in between meals, he was thinking, “Oh, man, you really done it this time, Dave.” But the second little Harry was put in his arms, a switch was turned and it was the best thing ever.
Regis continues, “Did you cut the cord?” Dave admits, “I cut something . . . all the lights went out.”
Regis loved the photos Dave showed, exclaiming he had Dave’s red hair. Dave vehemently denies he has red hair. Regis quickly responds, “OK, sandy. You have sandy hair. Red hair, sandy hair, same thing.” Dave isn’t finished. “Sandy is not red. When is the last time you saw a red beach?” Regis has to agree with Dave.
Dave asks Regis about his show. It seems Regis and Kelly had a bet which Regis lost and so had to baby-sit Kelly’s kids. Regis admits to dropping Joaquin while changing a diaper. Pull-ups, I imagine. Behaving like your typical babysitter, Regis quickly pleaded with the child, “Don’t tell your parents.” Probably slipped him a couple extra snacks as well. Regis doesn’t think the bump on the head will result in any permanent damage, so the story had a happy ending.
And how is Kelly’s new show? Regis says he makes an appearance in this Friday’s Faith and Hope. Regis plays a car salesman and Kelly, a soap opera star, comes in to buy a car. Regis wants to make a deal. She can have a car if she agrees to make a commercial for “Happy Hal’s” or “Happy Hal’s.” Dave sums it up: “So she comes in to your dealership and you dicker.” Regis is flabbergasted. He can’t believe Dave said that. Half laughing, half stunned, Regis looks left and right for help. Dave explains it a little better when he repeats, “She comes in and you dicker over a price.” Regis regains his composure and says, “Yes, we dicker.” He then adds, “I didn’t get that at first. That was a good one.” It was a very funny exchange.
Before saying goodbye, Regis says all of America is happy for Dave and congratulates him and Regina.

INDIAN LARRY – we go out to 53rd Street once again. This time Indian Larry will attempt the Triple Fire Wall. While Indian dresses in his fire-protection clothing, we see the triple wall of fire being put aflame. The dampness, the drizzle, and the evaporated combustible fluid made the wall of fire more of a flicker. When it finally became somewhat ablaze, Indian Larry raced through the triple wall of lattice, risking his life to entertain America.
We come back to Dave who sarcastically exclaims, “What a conflagration.” I quickly searched for a dictionary to look up “conflagration.” Conflagration means . . . . No, if I looked it up, you can too. You’ll remember it better that way.

AMY BRENNEMAN: She’s the Amy in Judging Amy. Earlier tonight, the CBS hit Judging Amy celebrated their 100th episode. It’s in its 5th season. Congratulations, Amy and the gang.
Amy spent Sunday at the CBS at 75 celebration. Being a mom, she was hoping for a two-hour gig to get in and out and back home to the family. No such luck. She had to be there for the 4:30 red carpet arrival. Then there was the cocktail hour, followed by a 2-hour meal, then the 3-hour show. This was followed by the 11:15 PM CBS ‘historic photo.’ I know what Amy was thinking. When you go out, the baby-sitter clock is continually ticking. Every hour out is another $7.50 to the baby-sitter, or whatever it is we pay.
It wasn’t all bad for Amy, though. She met Mrs. Walton and Bonnie Franklin.
Judging Amy – Tuesday nights at 10:00 on CBS.

And that was our show for < B>Tuesday, November 4, 2003. Before the close, Dave says goodnight to Harry. Wahoo EXTRA!

The thing about fatherhood: You can’t believe you can be so important in a person’s life.

Are you like me? Do you only go to vote in the local elections for the Volunteer Fire Department Ladies Auxiliary bake sale?

I found this amusing. Earlier today on the LATE SHOW, “Trader Jack” McKeon was traded for Regis Philbin.

The Yankees hired Don Mattingly as their new hitting coach. He replaces the fired Rick Downs who was their World Series swinging coach.
Yankee 2nd baseman Alfonso Soriano struck out 26 times in this year’s post season. He had 71 At Bats.
In the entire 1941 season, Joe Dimaggio had 541 at bats, 30 home runs, and struck out 13 times for the year.
In 1952, free-swinging Yogi Berra came to bat 534 times, hit 30 home runs, and struck out 24 times.

I made it through Halloween Eve with only my car getting egged. From where I’m from, we called the night before Halloween “Gate Night.” I never heard anyone else refer to it as Gate Night. I’ve heard of “Hell Night” and “Mischief Night,” but other than my area, never Gate Night. What did you call the night before Halloween when you egged houses and soaped up car windows?

From the October 30, 2003 Wahoo Gazette:

RE: Know Your Current Events:
WAHOO BONUS: What was the 3rd Halloween Candy question not asked?
3. In a Reese’s Nutrageous Candy Bar, what do peanuts, caramel, peanut butter, and chocolate come together to form?
The first with the answer will get a beaming mention in a future "Wahoo Gazette."

And the winner is, with the first to write in with the correct answer, . . . . . . . . . BOB HOUSE!
Bob clocked in at 6:23:17 PM EST on October 31st, beating Mr. Cronin by an hour and a half. And what do we have for BOB HOUSE? Alan?
“Right you are, Mike. Bob House, you have won a BRAND NEW CAR!”

Dang it! Yesterday’s show number was GH-25. It was supposed to be #2068. I had show labels printed up till December and now the show #’s and dates don’t correspond. I’ll have to do it over. I hate the double work. And I can’t begin to tell you how this screws up the Wahoo Gazette’s DAVE4000 contest.