Dave admits to spending too much time watching those motorcycle guys on the Discovery Channel. He can't get enough of the trials and tribulations they go through constructing the bikes. He sits back and mimes riding one of the big bikes, arms held high up to the handlebars. Dave suggests that he and Paul join up and ride cross country or into Mexico. Paul likes the idea but said he won't be able to join Dave on the trip. Why not? "I can't reach the handlebars."

Hey! Good news! Late Show cameraman Dave Dorsett became a grandfather for the 2nd time earlier today upon the birth of his new granddaughter Hanna. Hanna joins her sister Holly and mom Sandy and daddy David in the happy Dorsett family.
Dave Dorsett learned of the news during rehearsal. The phone call was put through and the proud grandpappy shared this moment of joy with those around him. Very nice.
Dave the host wants to add Dorsett to the trip to Mexico, making the trio Dave, Dave, and Paul. Dave Letterman says "Are there 3 more Bad Ass guys then us?"

The United States pulled a fast one this morning, turning over the keys to Iraq to an interim Iraqi government 2 days before we promised. And the Iraqis were elated and celebratory. We showed footage from CNN of the dancing in the streets by the Iraqi citizens. Uhhh, I'm not sure the footage we saw was of Iraq. I think it was from the New York Gay Pride Parade. The joy and pride were comparable. It was the attire that gave it away.

GEORGE W. BUSH SLY WINK: During an award presentation, the President looks over at one of the recipients and gives a friendly wink. Dave pointed out to watch for the President's right eye. He did wink using his right eye. I then did my own wink and discovered I am a left eye blinker. Then I wondered if GW Bush was right-handed or left-handed. I was working on a theory, based on a population of 2, that lefthanders blink with their right eye and right-handers blink with their left eye. My theory suffered a big hit when I discovered it was George 41 who was left-handed while George 43 was right-handed. So in that case, never mind.

TWO WORDS NEVER BEFORE SPOKEN BY A PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES - We see a clip of George W. Bush. He says, "James Garner." Yes, very silly, but funny. Then my continuity and factual side took over and I did a quick Google check of Ronald Reagan and James Garner. Not wanting to find anything, I was successful in not finding anything, though if I pressed on I bet I could have.

IRAQI HANDOVER TIMELINE
Before starting this piece, Dave muses once again about being one of a trio of bikers riding cross country, much like Kid Rock and Jesse James did a while back.

Iraq now belongs to Iraq, two days earlier than promised. If the United States were your local cable company, the handover would have occurred on June 30, sometime between 9:00 AM and 5:00 PM. And then when they showed to hand it over, you would be in the shower.

9:00 AM - President Bush congratulates "Iraqi President what's-his-name and Prime Minister Blah-blah-blah."
9:30 AM - Paul Bremer explains the reason the transfer took place two days early - "I have Yankee tickets."
10:00 AM - Iraqi officials inspect damage, refuse to return United States' security deposit.
10:30 AM - New tourist slogan announced: "Iraq - why the hell would you want to come here?"
11:00 AM - Inspired by President Bush, interim Prime Minister Ayad Allawi leaves for a month-long vacation.
11:30 AM - In its first official act, interim Iraqi government sends congratulatory note to newly engaged Britney Spears
Noon - Dedication of the Sean Penn Turnpike
12:15 PM - Every member of the government automatically goes on Halliburton payroll.
12:30 PM - President Bush asks President Ghazi Al-Yawer to change his name to something easier to pronounce like "Jeb."
2:00 PM - Interim Prime Minister Ayad Allawi makes a pass at his first intern.
3:00 PM - Bush goes to see "Fahrenheit 9/11." Enjoys a good laugh at what a dolt he is.
4:00 PM - Donald Rumsfeld provides United States ground commanders with plans to invade and conquer the new Iraq.
6:00 PM - President Bush begins process of handing over control of the United States to John Kerr.

PIEDMONT BIRD CALLERS - They are the winners of Piedmont, California's 39th Annual High School Bird-Calling Competition.
1. Addison Duke and Jon Edmonds - third place finishers - Dave asks if bird calling is a neat way to meet chicks. The boys smile and laugh. Jon says he will be a life guard in the summer. Dave says about being a lifeguard: "If not a good way to meet chicks, at least you get to hang around them."
Their call is that of a Limpkin. A limpkin is found in Florida, grows to be 25 inches tall, and lives on apple snails. The call went something like this: Kree-ow, kra-ow."
I was interested in this bird because in college, I knew a girl named Stephanie Limpkin.

2. Chloe Fineman and Claire Newman. Second place finishers - Why did they take up bird calling? Says one with a shrug, "I felt the inner bird." You could see about 100 jokes fly through Dave's brain filter. Would he say one or not? At first I thought no, then I thought I saw him change his mind and was about to say something, then he reeled it back in and tossed out a simple, "I never felt my inner bird." I believe Dave considered the age of the young female bird callers and decided to keep it nice. Their bird call: The Peafowl. The peafowl is a generalization of the peacock (male) and the peahen (female). The call is sometimes mistaken for a woman crying out in distress.
Their call sounded something like, well, ummm, it sounded like a woman crying out in distress.
Dave characterized it as very dramatic.

3. Lacy Halliwell, Brandon Paris, and Bunny Rutherford. The first place team - Lacy will be attending Diablo Valley College in the fall, Brandon hopes to be a walk-on for the UCLA football team, and Bunny will be attending the University of Vermont. Brandon's dad is an ex-football player in the NFL for the San Francisco 49ers. What position? Brandon was not sure, guessing someplace on the line. Their call is the Arctic Loon. It lives around the Arctic Circle. How far south does it migrate? Do any live in the United States? What more can they tell us about the Arctic Loon? Like taking an essay test in June of your senior year in high school, the trio didn't really study and fudged their answers the best they could. Dave admits he's barely interested as well.
Their call sounded like "caw wow." It is obvious why they came in first place.

Bubba Paris: Played offensive tackle for 9 years in the NFL, 8 with the San Francisco 49ers and 1 with the Indianapolis Colts.

KIRSTEN DUNST: She's in the "Spider-Man 2" and today's reviews rave about the sequel. The first one made about $800,000,000 with little trickle down to Kirsten (pronounced "Keersten") What has Kirsten been up to? She recently bought a house in California and it's the first time she's lived away from home, missing out on the college experience. She had an alarm system put in and had to think of her own personal code. The number she punched in happened to be the code for a Hold Up in progress. Police quickly arrived and the copters appeared over head. Kirsten couldn't believe her code was the same as the Hold Up in progress code. So what did Kirsten Dunst change her secret code to? Answer: 43082.

Relax. I have no idea if that is her secret code. That is her birth date, though.

She also recently bought one of those hybrid cars; half electric, half combustible engine. Celebrities love to buy the hybrid cars so the citizenry can witness their environmental sensitivity. What we don't see is their 4,000 square-foot home for one being air conditioned while they vacation in Europe. Dave has many questions about the hybrid, curious as to how it works and when the electric part takes over for the combustible engine part, and vice versa. Kirsten can offer no insight. She probably bought it for the cool color. It seems Kirsten knows as much about cars as I do. "Spider-Man 2" opens Wednesday. We show a clip. Much to my surprise, and Kirsten's, we see some Shecky footage from an old black and white giant spider movie. The spider is killed, or at least wounded, by the frightened explorers by shooting it with a pistol.
We then see an actual clip from the "Spider-Man 2" movie. Just as Peter Parker and the Kirsten character are about to kiss while dining at an over-priced coffee shoppe, Peter Parker's spidey-sense senses a car about to crash into them. Parker lunges and pushes them both to safety. With the great success of the first movie, there was more money to go around for bigger and better special effects. This clip showed a sample of that. Very cool.

ACT 5:
ALAN V.O.: "It's time for Late Show Costume Designer Susan Hum's Movie Reviews. Tonight, Susan will be reviewing the new comedy, 'White Chicks.'"
SUSAN: "I didn't get to see 'White Chicks.' I thought it was playing at the theater near me, but it turns out it was playing at another theater, so I stayed home and watched that channel that shows the surgery."
ALAN V.O.: "Nice going, Susan. Sounds like a winner. This has been Late Show Costume Designer Susan Hum's Movie Reviews. Tell your friends."

CHRIS ROBINSON AND THE NEW EARTH MUD: From their new CD, "This Magnificent Distance," Chris and the band performed a good rocking "40 Days." A good hard-driving, rock and roll song.
Afterwards, Dave adds Chris Robinson into his motorcycle gang of Dave, Dave, and Paul. Dave tags the trip to Mexico as The Mexican Thunder Road Trip. He's itching to get it going.

And that was our show for Monday, June 28, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

Did you see the President speak about the handover of Iraq? Who will ever forget those already famous words that will surely live forever: "No backs!"

On Sunday, the San Jose SaberCats defeated the Arizona Rattlers 69-62 in the 18th Arena Football League Championship game. The most surprising thing about this game? That there were 17 championship games prior to this one.

Sunday night a group of us went to see the fireworks at the local college. I'm not usually a fan of the fireworks, feeling it is not worth the effort. It's usually too crowded, the fireworks too short, and the time it takes to leave the parking lot way too long. Much to my surprise, my first two concerns were not met. It was not too crowded, as everyone was spread out far and wide. The seating and picnicking area was vast. And the fireworks seemed to last a good while. So far, so good. But exiting the parking lot was, again, way too long. Next year I'll bring toys and games and stuff and remain on the grounds an hour following the fireworks. Then I'll convince everyone to stay another half hour. Only then will I begin to walk to the car. Leaving the parking lot will be less excruciating that way.
My feeling is the time it takes to leave an event should not be longer than the event itself.

READER FEEDBACK:
In Thursday's Wahoo I mentioned how much I missed the side vent windows in today's cars. I received many testimonials from readers who also pine for those days of the vent windows. I didn't ask their age but I imagine most to be in their 40s.

From David Shilman:

"My father used to call those little windows 'no-drafts', as in 'David, would you please open the no-draft'."

"Edinburgh does have the h at the end and is pronounced Ed-in-bur or sometimes Ed-in-bruh (short u) but never with the emphasis on the last o like Ed-in-boro. Only Amercians says it that way."

"Mike:
Ever wonder what the phrase, 'You're such a dork,' means?
- Richard."
No, I haven't, Dick.

"My name is Dr. John Fish, and I work in the International operation department in a Local Bank here in South Africa. On a routine inspection I discovered a dormant domiciliary account with a balance of 36,000,000 (Thirty Six Million USD). On further discreet investigation, I also discovered that the account holder has long since passed away (dead) leaving no beneficiary to the account. The bank will approve this money to any foreigner because the former operator of the a/c is a foreigner and from Iraq in particular and I am certainly sure that he is dead, and nobody will come again for the claim of this money. A foreigner can only claim this money with legal claims to the account Holder, Therefore I need your cooperation in this transaction."