CBS | Late Show with David Letterman :

This Week's Show Recap:


			Thursday, June 29, 2006 Show #2583
			By Michael Z. McIntee	Change Text Color: Black \| White


	Kate Bosworth; Musical Group Broken Social Scene; and a Spectacular Soda Eruption on 53rd Street. PLUS: Family Feud; Spanish Talk Shows Are Better; a Happily Angry Lottery Winner; Alan Kalter Expresses His Love; a Top Ten List; and Andy Kindler Goes to the Sisters Rodeo. As Dave is about to take a seat, he says, “Show me ‘Christmas!’” We cut to a shot of the Family Feud board and . . . . Christmas is a match! Out on 53rd Street we have two guys from Maine who will perform a Diet Coke and Mentos Experiment. It is believed that mixing Diet Coke with a Mentos mint candy will create a soda explosion. Fritz Grobe and Stephen Voltz will detonate 122 2-liter bottles using 646 Mentos mint candies. Dave demonstrates on a small scale what we can expect. He has a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke and drops one Mentos tablet into the bottle. After a beat, FIZZ! The carbonated beverage shoots up about two feet. He tries it again with a new 2-liter bottle and 2 Mentos. We get a bit more height this time, though Dave is still not sold on the results. He is advised that he is wasting too much time between opening the bottle and dropping the Mentos. Dave tries it one more time with 3 Mentos. Better results, but still leaving something to be desired. Dave says, “Now imagine that multiplied 122 times! Show me . . . ‘nice cars!’ DING! Dave was going through the TV channels the other day and stopped on a strange program on the Telemundo. It was the inspiration for this new segment, “Spanish Talk Shows are Better.” We see a scene from “Cotorreando’. The gals are learning the belly dance. Dios mio! Back to Dave, who is suddenly interrupted by a guy at center-stage. The guy is holding a winning Pick 6 lottery ticket. He holds it up to show Dave and with joy and anger in his heart, the man bellows, “You see this? You know what this is? It’s a winning Pick 6 lottery ticket for 41 grand! That’s right. I’m out of this ‘djoy’-hole.” The guy looks towards Paul and give him a two-fisted middle finger and yells, “’Givl’ you!” He turns to Alan and does the same, “’Givl’ you!” And then he turns to Dave and with real gusto, screams, “Giiiiiiiiiiivl Youuuuuu!” He then exits with a delirious laugh. Dave scratches his head and asks, “Paul, do you know who that was?” Paul: “I’ve never seen him before in my life.” (to decipher “givl” and “djoy”, simply look to the left on our keyboard of each letter in “givl” and “djoy.”) Talk about luck. On Tuesday this same guy won $63,000 I the lottery. Show me . . . toast! BUZZ! Oh, darn. How about . . . show me . . . Burt Reynolds! BUZZ! Dave is a bit nervous now. He’s got only one more chance. Show me . . . . ‘elevator!’ DING! The audience groans and applauds on the Buzzes and Dings. I laugh. Have you seen the new Superman movie yet? Well, if not, you’re in luck because Dave taped a scene when he was watching the Premiere at the local Bijou. We see the clip. A ne’erdowell just robbed a Danish shop. Superman demands, “STOP!” The criminal looks at Superman and aims his gun. “Don’t mess with me, Superman!” he cries. Superman responds with confidence, “I’m afraid you’ll need more than that. You forget I’m bullet . . .” The guy shoots. Superman is shot in the chest. Superman falls to the sidewalk. He is hurt bad. I guess they make better bullets these days. Let’s say hello to our friend Andy Kindler. We sent Andy to Sisters, Oregon to the Sisters Rodeo, “The Biggest Little Show in the World!” People in Sisters love their rodeo. Andy brought back some footage of his visit and we take a look. It looked like a lot of fun but there was a tad too much neighing for Andy’s taste. He meets a little boy named John who isn’t impressed with TV or Andy’s comedic genius. We meet rodeo clown CrAsh Cooper. And we meet a huge Oregonian. Standing next to the Sister citizen, Andy says, “OK, America, you decide . . . which of us two is the Jew.” The guy off to the side really enjoyed that one. Andy challenges the rodeo clown: “OK, Rodeo Clown, make me laugh.” CrAsh Cooper things a moment and then looks down at Andy and scoffs, “What a dick.” That got a good laugh out of Andy. Andy then tries out the tagline, “… if you know what I mean.” Say anything and tag that on at the end and it will sound dirty. At the end, we see Andy Kindler dance into the sunset. It looked like a scene from “Brokeback Mountain: The Musical.” You can see Andy Kindler at the Montreal “Just For Laughs” festival on July 21st and 22nd. While Dave is billboarding the show, a slowed down Alan Kalter interrupts; “Hey, Mulenuts. I just don’t feel it tonight. I’m gonna go.” Alan slowly gets up and exits. Dave is angry at Alan for leaving the show in the middle of a performance. It’s not professional. We see an art card which reads: “Later That Night. . .” We find Alan in his apartment. His thoughts are elsewhere . . . and we soon find out why. He is missing a certain girl. We see him gazing at the photos of the very pretty girl. Oh how he misses her. Suddenly, Alan becomes inspired. He leaves his apartment at a very slow sprint. He picks up flowers. He is a man with new life. He arrives at an apartment and runs to the elevator. Too impatient, Alan runs up the steps to the girl of his dreams. He knocks upon her door. The very pretty gal answers. Alan extends the flowers and says, “It occurs to me there’s something I never told you . . . . I love you.” She looks at Alan with confusion. “Uhhh, who are you?” she asks. Alan shows his camera under his coat and says, “I live in the apartment building directly across from you.” From the apartment we see a burly fellow rush to the door. He’s heard what Alan has said. He grabs Alan by the lapel and administers a beating. As he is being beaten, Alan unknowingly snaps a photo. It is now hanging in the woman’s apartment. TOP TEN: Signs the Supreme Court Doesn’t Give A Damn – they started their 3-month vacation tonight. Nice gig. #9. Tough to concentrate with Ruth Bader Ginsburg trying on bikinis. #8. Spent last two days hearing arguments between Barbara Walters and Star Jones. #3. Upheld gay marriage, but only for really hot babes. KATE BOSWORTH: She’s in the Superman Returns. (And when I am done with this, I am on vacation.) Kate is Lois Lane in the movie. I don’t recall Lois ever looking quite like Kate. Makes a guy want to become a mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper. She’s 23 and just bought a house. She doesn’t remind me of me at all. Hey, why is she rubbing her knee? She says, “There’s something about you, Dave.” Oh, man, that would be so cool to even pretend to be true. We see a clip from the Superman Returns movie. Uh oh, wrong clip. It’s something found on the Internet on the Ballywood channel. We then see the actual clip. Superman Returns – in theaters now, in case you didn’t know. THE DIET COKE AND MENTOS EXPERIMENT – We are ready. The boys of Eepybird, Fritz and Stephen, perform their sloppy but oddly interesting exhibition. Very nicely done out on 53rd Street. With nuzzling, they are able to get the spray of Diet Coke to reach 22 feet. It was nicely choreographed. And by Monday morning, I predict thousands of parents will be screaming at their kids for conducting the same experiment in their basement. I would like to see the sales reports of Mentos tomorrow. To see more fun from these guys, check out their website at www.Eepybird.com. ACT 5: It’s more of the Diet Coke and Mentos Experiment, in slow motion. BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE: From their self-titled CD, the very crowded Broken Social Scene performed “Fire Eye’d Boy.” And that was our show for Thursday, June 29, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA! I joined a gym. So far it’s making my wallet skinnier. June 29th is the 42nd Anniversary of the Television remote control. When I got up this morning I wanted to throw a party with my remote. . . . but I couldn’t find the damn thing. It’s been 25 years since the marriage of Luke and Laura. Laura has signed on to appear in some “All My Children” episodes in November. Hey, ABC, are you listening? You got to make the 25th Wedding Anniversary show a prime time special! Here’s something I don’t get. Former NYPD Police Commissioner Bernie Kerik was fined $200,000 the other day for receiving $200,000 worth of renovations on his Bronx apartment. He only paid $17,000 for the work. So wouldn’t that make the fine $17,000? And if the renovation work was a $200,000 estimate, we all know it would be twice that figure by the time the work was completed. He was also accused of not reporting a personal “loan.” My daily-wear sneakers are getting a bit old so I decided not to change them when I cut the lawn the other day. Naturally, the green from the grass stained my white sneaks. When I got to work the next day, more than one person pointed out my green grass-stained sneakers with a laugh. Is this really a fashion/social faux pas? OK, so I cut the grass with my old white sneakers on. Who really cares? A lot of people, apparently. And speaking of cutting the grass, doesn’t anybody do their own anymore? It seems no one cuts their own grass. Everybody’s got a guy. In my neighborhood of about 30 houses, about 10 got sod put in. And of course with sod, you gotta get a guy for the upkeep of the lawn. Another 5 have a guy to do their lawn, so half the neighborhood has a guy, the other half do it themselves. I of course am of the latter. My goal is to have a better lawn than those with a guy. My immediate neighbor has sod and a guy. For a while, my lawn was greener than his but no longer. I must have taken it easy last year because my lawn came in choppy and weedy this spring. I’ve been busy every weekend trying to catch up. I’ve rebounded pretty nicely but there’s still a long way to go. I had a spreader that spread out the fertilizer but that broke. I found a drop-spreader that doesn’t shoot out the fertilizer but simply drops it straight down. You have to be careful with this because if you miss a spot it will show later. I learned this the hard way. I was running low on fertilizer when it was time to do the front yard. I tried my best to get the whole front buy I missed quite a bit. It now looks like my lawn has zebra stripes. I wave to the dads as they drive by, knowing they are giggling as they look. The men are getting together tonight for drinks. I’m sure I’ll hear about it. My 10-year-old Dominique got us kicked of the AOL the other day. Apparently she tried to start an advice column and advertised it on one of the AOL kid chat rooms. That’s not allowed. So AOL kicked us off. It’s a minor inconvenience and pretty simple to get back on. (Simple for me since it’s Denise who does the work) It’s AOL’s way of informing the parents of what’s happening. I have no problem with that, in fact I applaud them. It’s a good policy. So I checked out Dominique’s advice column. One 12-year-old girl wrote in asking for the best way to break up with her boyfriend. Dominique responded, “You’re too young to have a boyfriend.” And now Dominique is into being a playwright. She wrote her first play, 14 pages, entitled “Poems and Enlightenment.” I read it. It covers murder, crystal meth, and a dance contest. Yeesh. It looks like she’s fast becoming a tweener. Kate Bosworth; Musical Group Broken Social Scene; and a Spectacular Soda Eruption on 53rd Street. PLUS: Family Feud; Spanish Talk Shows Are Better; a Happily Angry Lottery Winner; Alan Kalter Expresses His Love; a Top Ten List; and Andy Kindler Goes to the Sisters Rodeo. As Dave is about to take a seat, he says, “Show me ‘Christmas!’” We cut to a shot of the Family Feud board and . . . . Christmas is a match! Out on 53rd Street we have two guys from Maine who will perform a Diet Coke and Mentos Experiment. It is believed that mixing Diet Coke with a Mentos mint candy will create a soda explosion. Fritz Grobe and Stephen Voltz will detonate 122 2-liter bottles using 646 Mentos mint candies. Dave demonstrates on a small scale what we can expect. He has a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke and drops one Mentos tablet into the bottle. After a beat, FIZZ! The carbonated beverage shoots up about two feet. He tries it again with a new 2-liter bottle and 2 Mentos. We get a bit more height this time, though Dave is still not sold on the results. He is advised that he is wasting too much time between opening the bottle and dropping the Mentos. Dave tries it one more time with 3 Mentos. Better results, but still leaving something to be desired. Dave says, “Now imagine that multiplied 122 times! Show me . . . ‘nice cars!’ DING! Dave was going through the TV channels the other day and stopped on a strange program on the Telemundo. It was the inspiration for this new segment, “Spanish Talk Shows are Better.” We see a scene from “Cotorreando’. The gals are learning the belly dance. Dios mio! Back to Dave, who is suddenly interrupted by a guy at center-stage. The guy is holding a winning Pick 6 lottery ticket. He holds it up to show Dave and with joy and anger in his heart, the man bellows, “You see this? You know what this is? It’s a winning Pick 6 lottery ticket for 41 grand! That’s right. I’m out of this ‘djoy’-hole.” The guy looks towards Paul and give him a two-fisted middle finger and yells, “’Givl’ you!” He turns to Alan and does the same, “’Givl’ you!” And then he turns to Dave and with real gusto, screams, “Giiiiiiiiiiivl Youuuuuu!” He then exits with a delirious laugh. Dave scratches his head and asks, “Paul, do you know who that was?” Paul: “I’ve never seen him before in my life.” (to decipher “givl” and “djoy”, simply look to the left on our keyboard of each letter in “givl” and “djoy.”) Talk about luck. On Tuesday this same guy won $63,000 I the lottery. Show me . . . toast! BUZZ! Oh, darn. How about . . . show me . . . Burt Reynolds! BUZZ! Dave is a bit nervous now. He’s got only one more chance. Show me . . . . ‘elevator!’ DING! The audience groans and applauds on the Buzzes and Dings. I laugh. Have you seen the new Superman movie yet? Well, if not, you’re in luck because Dave taped a scene when he was watching the Premiere at the local Bijou. We see the clip. A ne’erdowell just robbed a Danish shop. Superman demands, “STOP!” The criminal looks at Superman and aims his gun. “Don’t mess with me, Superman!” he cries. Superman responds with confidence, “I’m afraid you’ll need more than that. You forget I’m bullet . . .” The guy shoots. Superman is shot in the chest. Superman falls to the sidewalk. He is hurt bad. I guess they make better bullets these days. Let’s say hello to our friend Andy Kindler. We sent Andy to Sisters, Oregon to the Sisters Rodeo, “The Biggest Little Show in the World!” People in Sisters love their rodeo. Andy brought back some footage of his visit and we take a look. It looked like a lot of fun but there was a tad too much neighing for Andy’s taste. He meets a little boy named John who isn’t impressed with TV or Andy’s comedic genius. We meet rodeo clown CrAsh Cooper. And we meet a huge Oregonian. Standing next to the Sister citizen, Andy says, “OK, America, you decide . . . which of us two is the Jew.” The guy off to the side really enjoyed that one. Andy challenges the rodeo clown: “OK, Rodeo Clown, make me laugh.” CrAsh Cooper things a moment and then looks down at Andy and scoffs, “What a dick.” That got a good laugh out of Andy. Andy then tries out the tagline, “… if you know what I mean.” Say anything and tag that on at the end and it will sound dirty. At the end, we see Andy Kindler dance into the sunset. It looked like a scene from “Brokeback Mountain: The Musical.” You can see Andy Kindler at the Montreal “Just For Laughs” festival on July 21st and 22nd. While Dave is billboarding the show, a slowed down Alan Kalter interrupts; “Hey, Mulenuts. I just don’t feel it tonight. I’m gonna go.” Alan slowly gets up and exits. Dave is angry at Alan for leaving the show in the middle of a performance. It’s not professional. We see an art card which reads: “Later That Night. . .” We find Alan in his apartment. His thoughts are elsewhere . . . and we soon find out why. He is missing a certain girl. We see him gazing at the photos of the very pretty girl. Oh how he misses her. Suddenly, Alan becomes inspired. He leaves his apartment at a very slow sprint. He picks up flowers. He is a man with new life. He arrives at an apartment and runs to the elevator. Too impatient, Alan runs up the steps to the girl of his dreams. He knocks upon her door. The very pretty gal answers. Alan extends the flowers and says, “It occurs to me there’s something I never told you . . . . I love you.” She looks at Alan with confusion. “Uhhh, who are you?” she asks. Alan shows his camera under his coat and says, “I live in the apartment building directly across from you.” From the apartment we see a burly fellow rush to the door. He’s heard what Alan has said. He grabs Alan by the lapel and administers a beating. As he is being beaten, Alan unknowingly snaps a photo. It is now hanging in the woman’s apartment. TOP TEN: Signs the Supreme Court Doesn’t Give A Damn – they started their 3-month vacation tonight. Nice gig. #9. Tough to concentrate with Ruth Bader Ginsburg trying on bikinis. #8. Spent last two days hearing arguments between Barbara Walters and Star Jones. #3. Upheld gay marriage, but only for really hot babes. KATE BOSWORTH: She’s in the Superman Returns. (And when I am done with this, I am on vacation.) Kate is Lois Lane in the movie. I don’t recall Lois ever looking quite like Kate. Makes a guy want to become a mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper. She’s 23 and just bought a house. She doesn’t remind me of me at all. Hey, why is she rubbing her knee? She says, “There’s something about you, Dave.” Oh, man, that would be so cool to even pretend to be true. We see a clip from the Superman Returns movie. Uh oh, wrong clip. It’s something found on the Internet on the Ballywood channel. We then see the actual clip. Superman Returns – in theaters now, in case you didn’t know. THE DIET COKE AND MENTOS EXPERIMENT – We are ready. The boys of Eepybird, Fritz and Stephen, perform their sloppy but oddly interesting exhibition. Very nicely done out on 53rd Street. With nuzzling, they are able to get the spray of Diet Coke to reach 22 feet. It was nicely choreographed. And by Monday morning, I predict thousands of parents will be screaming at their kids for conducting the same experiment in their basement. I would like to see the sales reports of Mentos tomorrow. To see more fun from these guys, check out their website at www.Eepybird.com. ACT 5: It’s more of the Diet Coke and Mentos Experiment, in slow motion. BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE: From their self-titled CD, the very crowded Broken Social Scene performed “Fire Eye’d Boy.” And that was our show for Thursday, June 29, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA! I joined a gym. So far it’s making my wallet skinnier. June 29th is the 42nd Anniversary of the Television remote control. When I got up this morning I wanted to throw a party with my remote. . . . but I couldn’t find the damn thing. It’s been 25 years since the marriage of Luke and Laura. Laura has signed on to appear in some “All My Children” episodes in November. Hey, ABC, are you listening? You got to make the 25th Wedding Anniversary show a prime time special! Here’s something I don’t get. Former NYPD Police Commissioner Bernie Kerik was fined $200,000 the other day for receiving $200,000 worth of renovations on his Bronx apartment. He only paid $17,000 for the work. So wouldn’t that make the fine $17,000? And if the renovation work was a $200,000 estimate, we all know it would be twice that figure by the time the work was completed. He was also accused of not reporting a personal “loan.” My daily-wear sneakers are getting a bit old so I decided not to change them when I cut the lawn the other day. Naturally, the green from the grass stained my white sneaks. When I got to work the next day, more than one person pointed out my green grass-stained sneakers with a laugh. Is this really a fashion/social faux pas? OK, so I cut the grass with my old white sneakers on. Who really cares? A lot of people, apparently. And speaking of cutting the grass, doesn’t anybody do their own anymore? It seems no one cuts their own grass. Everybody’s got a guy. In my neighborhood of about 30 houses, about 10 got sod put in. And of course with sod, you gotta get a guy for the upkeep of the lawn. Another 5 have a guy to do their lawn, so half the neighborhood has a guy, the other half do it themselves. I of course am of the latter. My goal is to have a better lawn than those with a guy. My immediate neighbor has sod and a guy. For a while, my lawn was greener than his but no longer. I must have taken it easy last year because my lawn came in choppy and weedy this spring. I’ve been busy every weekend trying to catch up. I’ve rebounded pretty nicely but there’s still a long way to go. I had a spreader that spread out the fertilizer but that broke. I found a drop-spreader that doesn’t shoot out the fertilizer but simply drops it straight down. You have to be careful with this because if you miss a spot it will show later. I learned this the hard way. I was running low on fertilizer when it was time to do the front yard. I tried my best to get the whole front buy I missed quite a bit. It now looks like my lawn has zebra stripes. I wave to the dads as they drive by, knowing they are giggling as they look. The men are getting together tonight for drinks. I’m sure I’ll hear about it. My 10-year-old Dominique got us kicked of the AOL the other day. Apparently she tried to start an advice column and advertised it on one of the AOL kid chat rooms. That’s not allowed. So AOL kicked us off. It’s a minor inconvenience and pretty simple to get back on. (Simple for me since it’s Denise who does the work) It’s AOL’s way of informing the parents of what’s happening. I have no problem with that, in fact I applaud them. It’s a good policy. So I checked out Dominique’s advice column. One 12-year-old girl wrote in asking for the best way to break up with her boyfriend. Dominique responded, “You’re too young to have a boyfriend.” And now Dominique is into being a playwright. She wrote her first play, 14 pages, entitled “Poems and Enlightenment.” I read it. It covers murder, crystal meth, and a dance contest. Yeesh. It looks like she’s fast becoming a tweener.