This is gonna be quick. When I finish this, I go home to Thanksgiving dinner.

Tonight, we will be visiting Dave's mom in Indiana who has baked two pies. Using mother-to-son telepathy, Dave will try to guess which two pies his mom had prepared.

And here during the day at the show, we enjoyed out annual Thanksgiving dinner. Some of the festive footage included:
1. Staffer Kathy and her daughters, Thalia and Anna
2. Nancy Agostini and Chris Galletta
3. Sheila Rogers and her son, Arlo.
4. Harry!
5. And we see Dave serving the turkey
6. A CBS exec helping himself to leftovers
7. we let the staff call loved ones --- while Delace keeps a stop watch to keep the calls under 10 seconds.
8. Oh, there's Paul. We see Paul walking down the hall. He knocks into a staffer's dinner plate and blames the staffer: "Watch what you're doing, you 'givl'!"
9. Biff wishes Dave a Happy Thanksgiving - Biff is well into the vino, telling Dave he's never been funny and people watch only to see Biff.
10. a CBS exec licking the turkey
11. and when carving the turkey, remember, safety first. We see the carver sever his hand as blood gushes in all directions.

Great Moments in Presidential Speeches: FDR, JFK, Bush: "He didn't like how the cotton shirts absorbed . . . the bodily fluids."

Some pies mom has baked in the past for the show:
Cherry (5 times)
Chocolate Chiffon with Graham Cracker Crust (one)
Coconut Butterscotch pecan (once, and she was just showing off)
Hickory Nut (1)
Lemon chiffon (1)
Pecan (1)
Pumpkin (10)

The 80th Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
First balloon - Felix the Cat

More pies:
Butterscotch
Blueberry
Strawberry
Chuck Berry
Halle Berry

THANKSGIVING PARADE QUIZ
-you know what, there was footage, followed by questions, followed by 3 choices. The correct answer to all of them was C. I really want to leave. The stuffing at home won't last.

More pies:
Peach
Key Lime Pie
Boston Creme

DAVE'S MOM: LIVE via satellite from Indianapolis, Indiana. Dave tells mom it was raining so hard here in New York that they held the parade indoors at the Jacob Javits Center. They had a hell of a time getting the balloons through the revolving doors. Dave is about to go into a trance to get the vibrations of the mother-to-son non-verbal communications. Can mom feel the vibration? "Oh, I feel them" she says.
Dave deep into his trance: "Pumpkin" Is one of the pies Pumpkin? YES!
Pie number 2: Pecan? No, it's not pecan, but she thought of doing pecan.
Dave thinks some more. Is it apple? Ding ding ding ding!
The 2006 Late Show Thanksgiving Pies baked by Dave's mom are:
1. Pumpkin
2. Apple

This was also the pie combination in the year 2000.
And what is in the fridge? Dave's mom opens the refrigerator to reveal it's full of White Castle!
And what is she doing after the show? "Two words, David . . . Old Milwaukee."

TOP TEN: Things Overheard at the Late Show Thanksgiving Dinner
#10. "I heard the turkey was a stupid pet trick that didn't work out."
#6. "This is more awkward than Kramer's apology."
#4. "Anyone who ate the creamed peas please report to the Late Show health officer"

I can almost see the end of the Wahoo.

And the winner in the 5th Annual Late Show Thanksgiving Pie Pool was intern John Reed. He had Pumpkin and Apple and wins $100. Congratulations, John. They'll be partying in intern alley tonight!

EUGENE LEVY: In the film, "For Your Consideration." He also wrote it. Eugene is from Canada and points out that Canadians already celebrated their Thanksgiving last month. I, like most of us, was waiting for, "because of the early harvest." No. According to Eugene, Canadians celebrate their Thanksgiving in October simply because they want to be first. How do they celebrate? By watching a CFL football doubleheader, which means half the league is involved.
More funny talk about the CFL - 2 teams named the RoughRiders, and something about the Hamilton Tiger Cats. Hockey in Canada was also discussed. Levy says learning to skate comes before walking in Canada . . . except for Jewish men. The ankles of Jewish men were not meant to be on skates. . . they were meant to walk on hot desert sand.
"For Your Consideration" - in theaters now. It looks like a lot of fun. It's on my list.

ALAN KALTER MAKES YOUR PRODUCT SOUND SEXY - Dave throws to Alan.
Alan: "Thanks, D-Love. Hey, friends. Not a day goes by when the old man behind the desk over there doesn't stop me in the hall and say, 'Big Red, how do you get those dime-piece shorties with the bangin' booties to go hog-wild over you? That's easy." Turns to another camera; lights lower; soft music)
"I turn to the rich, savory taste of Heinz Home-style gravy. Heinz gravies are a delicious and convenient way to add flavor to your meals and they're available in three varieties: beef, chicken, and mushroom. And if you're feeling extra randy this holiday season, show that lucky lady in your life how that hearty gravy also brings out the robust flavors in meat of a thicker, throbbin, pulsating nature."
Alan opens a jar of gravy and pours it on himself.
"Ooohhhh, and for an added bonus, you can even get it in the can!" Freeze.
Announce: "If you want Alan Kalter to make your product sound sexy, send a sample to: Alan Kalter Makes Your Product Sound Sexy
1697 Broadway
New York, New York 10019
Back to you, Dave!"

ACT 5: "And now a Late Show Recall Alert. Attention viewers, does your turkey look like this? (shot of regular looking turkey) If so, immediately dial the poison control hotline or report to your local hospital. This has been a Late Show Recall Alert. Happy Thanksgiving to one and all.

JOHN MAYER: From his CD, "Continuum," John Mayer performed "I'm Gonna Find Another You." Sounded a bit like Otis Redding. And if I could sing and play the guitar like John Mayer, everyone could just kiss my ass.

And that was our show for Thursday, November 23, 2006.



Did you listen to Alice's Restaurant today?

You won't want to miss Friday night's big TV news story: "Wow. It's the busiest shopping day of the year. Let's go to the local department store and check in with some of the shoppers."

Earlier this week, the weather forecast for Thanksgiving day in New York City was to be a nice cool autumn day with light breeze. Waking up Thursday we found it rainy and windy and chilly. I probably mentioned this ten years ago and did nothing about it, but then I'm an idea guy . . . I'm not a doer . . . sort of like a consultant . . . .but my idea was to check out our accurate the 5th day was in your typical 5-day forecast. Take a month of checking the 5th day, and when that 5th day comes around, mark down just how accurate the forecast was. Do this the entire month. I think it would make for a great high school science project. I would imagine the accuracy would not be that high . . . except for San Diego which . . . oh, let me guess . . . next Wednesday will be 78 and sunny. Let me know how close I am. But with that being said, I think the local news weather report should get rid of all the maps and explanations and jabber and just show us a 5-day forecast. The weather on the news should be no longer than 30 seconds. Show us the 5-day and be gone. I know, I know, the 5-day forecast is probably not all that accurate but it's all I want. I don't care about occluded fronts.

I'm sorry, but that's it. I am out of here. Happy Thanksgiving to all.