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THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Lucy Liu; Alex Roy; and MGMT. PLUS:America Reacts to Dave’s Shaven Beard; CHiPs on the Phone; McCain’s Attack Ad; a Writer Leaves for the Wayne Brady Show; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; a Top Ten List; Striking Writers go to Jamba Juice; and Sitting in with the Band, the Legendary Bill Medley of the Righteous Brothers.
ACT 1:
Sitting in with the band tonight is the legendary Bill Medley. Sad to say, I didn’t know who Bill Medley was before the show. Someone had to tell me he was a Righteous Brother. He gave us great music all night long. Bill Medley’s new CD is entitled, “Damn Near Righteous.”
Good news. Happy news. Our head writer Eric Stangel and his wife Elizabeth are the proud parents of their first child, Eva. Congratulations, Eric and Elizabeth, and welcome to the world, Eva, born December 18th.
Dave’s beard has been in the news a lot these past few days. Monday, he finally shaved it off. And Dave saw an announcement about his shaving on the TV this morning. Very odd. Announce: “Last night, bowing to the requests of millions, David Letterman finally shaved his beard. This was a welcome development as people didn’t like seeing Dave’s face hidden behind all that hair. However, now that Dave’s entire face is once again visible, we would like to say . . . . grow the beard back, Dave!
Paid for by everyone.”
Dave looks down at a blue card on his desk. He then looks over to Barbara, our executive producer. “Am I supposed to do this?” She says for him to pick up the phone. Dave is bewildered, wondering why he would be getting a phone call on a fake phone. Dave picks up the phone and we pickup the transmission of a traffic report from the California Highway Patrol. It was very confusing. It made no sense.
Paul chimes, “You don’t see that stuff on shows without writers . . . only shows WITH writers. Dave laughs at Paul’s observation.
Senator John McCain and Mitt Romney have been at each other’s throats lately. In fact, during Sunday’s Meet The Press, Tim Russert questioned Senator McCain about his latest attack commercial. We see a clip from Meet The Press. RUSSERT, to McCain: “Let me show you an ad that, and our viewers, that you have on the web about Mitt Romney. Let’s watch.”
We see a McCain campaign ad. It’s a photo of Mitt Romney. After a beat, we hear “Mitt Romney is a jackass.” Cut to a shot of John McCain: “ I’m John McCain and I approve this message.”
Back to “Meet the Press.” A smiling John McCain says to Tim Russert, “Pretty good, huh?”
Dave is then interrupted by a gentleman on stage. “Excuse me . . . Excuse me!” Dave addresses the man. The guy then holds up a piece of paper for all to see. GUY: “You see this? (holds up piece of paper) You know what this is? It’s an interim agreement from the Writers Guild of America. And it’s binding. Do you know what that means? It means I can go back to work at the Wayne Brady Show and I don’t have to spend another second in this ‘djoy’-hole.
(to Alan Kalter, giving the finger) So, ‘givl’ you!”
(to Paul, giving the finger) “And ‘GIVL’ you!
(to Dave, giving both fingers) “And ‘GIIIIIIIIVL’ YOU!”
The guy exits.
Paul doesn’t quite understand the need for an interim agreement to work on a show that’s been off the air for three years.
What? Another phone call on the phony phone? Dave picks it up and we hear another report from the California Highway Police. I’m not sure how we’re picking up their radio signals.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES:
We see JFK.
We see Ronald Reagan.
We see George W. Bush: “I doubt I’d be standing here if I hadn’t quit drinking whiskey. And beer. And wine and all that.”
Another phone call? Dave picks up the phone to hear another report from the CHIPS.
During the break, Bill Medley sings “Justine.”
ACT 2:
Dave asks, “Ever try the Jamba Juice?” Ahh, the Jamba Juice, now that’s some delicious stuff. It’s the perfect thing to have on a hot balmy day in early January. So tonight we’re going to play, “How Many Striking Writers Can We Get Into A Jamba Juice?” Paul and the band, with vocals from Bill Medley, perform an opening song. Dave, a bit embarrassed, says to the great Bill Medley, “Bill, you’re a huge star. You don’t have to play along with us.”
We have a camera set up on the Jamba Juice directly across the street from the Ed Sullivan Theater o Broadway. Before sending in the strikers, Dave and Paul enjoy a Jamba Juice. Dave loves the Jamba but always makes the mistake of having two when one is perfect. 15 minutes after having the second one and you’ll feel sick. Dave recommends one Jamba Juice. Dave didn’t offer but here’s some Jamba Juice Fun Facts.
- founded in California in 1990
- 700 stores nationwide.
- Each year, Jamba Juice uses over 1 billion oranges in their juice drinks and 20 million pounds of strawberries.
OK, let’s send some striking writers into Jamba Juice. Dave calls for the first striker. In walks a striking writer with his picket sign. He takes his position inside the store by the big window. In goes another, and then another striking writer. Dave calls for 3 more, and then 5 more. And then he calls for an even dozen.
Did you notice the mathematical error by Dave? Dave called for 5 strikers to enter. He then said, “Let’s double that, plus one. Send in 12 more.” WRONG.
Doubling 5 gives you 10. Plus one gives you 11. Dave should have said, “Let’s add one and double it.” That would give you 12. The way Dave said it would give you 11. I believe that has something to do with the Commutative Law.
The Jamba Juice is now loaded with 23 striking writers with 22 picket signs. One must have forgotten his. Dave then sends in a Spider-Man. And then Moses. And then a bear. And that’s how many striking writers we can get into a Jamba Juice. Spider-Man, Moses, and the bear were Late Show staffers. The striking writers were actually striking writers.
During the break, Bill Medley sang “Bring Back That Loving Feeling.”
ACT 3:
Dave recalls where he was the first time he heard that song, “That Loving Feeling.” He remembers it being in the back seat of a car trying to unhook a bra.
Another phone call from the California Highway Patrol. I’m surprised it wasn’t a report of a man in the back of a car trying to unhook a bra.
TOP TEN: Signs You’re Watching Bad Election Coverage. #8. Exit polling question: “Did you have trouble finding the exit?”
LUCY LIU: From ABC’s new show, Cashmere Mafia. It premiered Tuesday night but it airs regularly on Wednesday at 10:00.
Lucy is from New York and spent time with her family over the holidays. Her family likes to use that time to . . . organize. It’s not unusual for them to clean out their closets on Christmas day. (In my family over the holidays, we like to clean out my wallet.)
What does Lucy like to do in the city on the beautiful day like we had today? She likes to exercise and ride her bike, and she’s started taking rides in those pedicabs so common now in the city. The pedicab is like a rickshaw where the passenger sits in a little carriage while he/she is bicycled around by a pedaller in front. Dave is familiar with the pedicabs and calls them a “litigation nightmare.” Yippee! I can’t agree more. I have no idea what insurance the pedicab drivers have and they have no respect for any traffic laws. They ride in and out of traffic, never stopping at lights, never signaling, never looking. I can’t believe the city lets them get away with that, and I can’t believe one of those pedicabs haven’t been flattened by an equally traffic law-breaking cab driver. And shouldn’t kids be required to wear a helmet when riding in the back of one of those?
Lucy knows quite a few languages, and names Mandarin, Italian, Japanese and English. Mandarin is the most common dialect in China; Cantonese the most common in Hong Kong. She tries to teach Dave some Mandarin, explaining the different meanings of “Mah.” It sounded confusing to me, but Lucy swore it was all quite simple.
I’ll stick to my fractured English.
To finish up, we see a clip from Lucy’s new program, Cashmere Mafia. This caught me by surprise since we usually don’t show clips from television programs. But before we saw the clip, I yelled out “Shecky footage!” I was right. We saw an old black and white clip of a women involved in a stickup. “Do what they say; they have guns!” exclaimed the frightened and intimidated husband.
ACT 4:
Dave gets another phone call from the California Highway Patrol. Traffic must be crazy out there.
ACT 5:
It’s the striking writers in the Jamba Juice hanging out. I think they’ve gained the support of the Jamba crowd.
ACT 6:ALEX ROY – 7-time Road Rally champion and author of “Driver: My Dangerous Pursuit of Speed and Truth in the Outlaw Racing World.”
Outlaw racing? Yeah, illegal racing, like The Cannonball Run, racing across the country. The record was 32 hours and 7 minutes, from New York to San Diego. Alex wanted to break the record. This race sort of died out in the 80s because it had gotten too dangerous. But it was a record Alex dreamed of breaking. A lot is involved in setting out to break the record. You need a co-pilot who will keep watch for the police, animals, other cars and anything that might get in the way. Alex hired a guy to fly along above to scout any police officers waiting up ahead. And there was lots of planning. The route was mapped out; what gas stations he would hit; bathroom breaks plotted; and where to pick up a quick snake. He then took two practice runs.
He was ready for the Cannonball Run. He waited till Columbus Day weekend. Starting in Manhattan, Alex drove through the Holland Tunnel and made it to the Pennsylvania border in an hour. He was in St. Louis in 9 hours. He hits speeds of 160 mph in the desert. He flew past a cop while going 80 mph with one headlight in Santa Monica. He made it cross country in a record 31 hours, 4 minutes. 31 HOURS, 4 MINUTES!!!! Wow! It’s taken me that long to commute into work!
ACT 7: MGMT: From their CD, “Oracular Spectacular,” MGMT performed “Time To Pretend.” Hey, I liked it. Any band that uses a Moog is OK by me. I liked the “Heroes” by Bowie undertones feel to it.
And that was our show for Tuesday January 8, 2008.
Pioneers of Television (late night) tonight at 8:00 PM on PBS. There’s a full-page ad in today’s New York Times with a split-photo of Johnny Carson and Joey Bishop. Hmmm, I’ll have to watch.
Now Hillary is the charm of the Democratic Party again. Following Iowa, she was on the brink of dropping out. Now after New Hampshire, she’s the comeback kid and the front runner . . . at least that’s what the media would have us believe. John Edwards . . . he’s done. After campaigning for a year, he’s done in less than a week. At least that’s what I’m hearing on the talk shows.
I figure any major candidate should at least wait a few weeks for Super Tuesday to make such a drastic decision on whether to drop out or not.
But now, let Cynical Mike takes a look at the political process. As always, I need to preface this with the familiar “I Know Nothing About Politics.” Here goes.
Let’s say John Edwards has built up a large treasure chest of money to run for President. If he continues through Super Tuesday, a big amount of that cache will be lost. If he drops out now, where does that money go? Does it go into his pocket, or does it go back to the DNC? Where does it go? Maybe . . . and here’s where I’ll probably sound like a political dolt . . . maybe the reason some candidates drop out so soon is so they don’t deplete their campaign fund before it goes into their pocket. And maybe some candidates run for President simply to get a pile of dough to fatten their wallet down the road.
I’m almost 50. You’d think I’d know stuff like this by now.
And Ron Paul, who had no place on the Republican Forum the other night on FOX, finished 1% point behind Rudolph Giuliani. Fred Thompson, who also was deemed worthy to be on the FOX Republican Forum, received 1% of the vote. I was right behind Thompson with 0%.
I’m no Ron Paul supporter, but if the media makes such a big deal out of Iowa and New Hampshire, why are they ignoring Ron Paul?
The Indianapolis Colts were losing 7-0 to the Chicago Bears 10 seconds into the game in last year’s Super Bowl. If the Colts were running for President, they would have dropped out of the game.
It’s 10:30 AM Wednesday. I see that Senator John McCain is campaigning in Michigan. I’m sure the other candidates are there, too. Yikes. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with the campaign. I can’t imagine being involved with one. Is it really worth it? I can’t help but think: “Anyone who wants to be President, shouldn’t be.
I’ve given up waiting for the networks to do the right thing, to do the decent thing, and stop showing football players dancing and prancing after every little thing they do. You would think the networks would know better than to celebrate poor sportsmanship. But they don’t. They don’t know the right thing to do. So let me try this approach. If my team is losing and the opposing team is taunting and rubbing it in our face, it is likely I will eventually turn off the TV in frustration. I don’t like to be taunted. By the networks showing this LAME (“Look At Me, Everybody”) stuff, they will lose viewers like me who are rooting for the losing team. Therefore, showing taunts is bad for ratings.
Look at it that way, CBS, FOX, NBC, ABC, and ESPN.
And another thing, as a rule TV avoids showing unruly fans running onto a baseball field and interrupting the game. They believe by showing the unruly fans running onto the field, they will only encourage the next fan to do the same thing. I think they are right. By the same token, showing a tight end celebrating with a cartwheel after catching a 4-yard pass will only encourage the next tight end to do the same. Stop showing it!
Oh, I like these Shockey-less Giants a lot. And I hate to say it because I don’t want to jinx them, but I like the Giants this week against . . . nope . . . I’m not gonna say it. Not gonna say it.
This morning’s traffic jam on the George Washington Bridge was brought to you by. . . . a female jogger. Yup, a female was jogging along the bicycle lane/walkway on the south side of the George Washington Bridge. Every male driver had to slow down to gape, hoping to see the jogger’s breasts bounce up and down. It caused a backup of about a mile. Men can be so stupid. How pathetic.
Hey, Bazooka Joe, the tiny print in your comics is killing me. Put it back to the size it used to be when I was a kid.
This summer I plan to send away for plans to build my own Nativity scene for Christmas and display it on my front lawn for the holiday. I hope to make it so good that someone comes along and steals Jesus. You know you have a good Nativity scene when someone steals your Jesus.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Not able to tell the difference between what I say and what Dave says, it’s Scott Isaacs.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee – also known as “The Guy”
mikemack@aol.com
Lucy Liu; Alex Roy; and MGMT. PLUS:America Reacts to Dave’s Shaven Beard; CHiPs on the Phone; McCain’s Attack Ad; a Writer Leaves for the Wayne Brady Show; Great Moments in Presidential Speeches; a Top Ten List; Striking Writers go to Jamba Juice; and Sitting in with the Band, the Legendary Bill Medley of the Righteous Brothers.
ACT 1:
Sitting in with the band tonight is the legendary Bill Medley. Sad to say, I didn’t know who Bill Medley was before the show. Someone had to tell me he was a Righteous Brother. He gave us great music all night long. Bill Medley’s new CD is entitled, “Damn Near Righteous.”
Good news. Happy news. Our head writer Eric Stangel and his wife Elizabeth are the proud parents of their first child, Eva. Congratulations, Eric and Elizabeth, and welcome to the world, Eva, born December 18th.
Dave’s beard has been in the news a lot these past few days. Monday, he finally shaved it off. And Dave saw an announcement about his shaving on the TV this morning. Very odd. Announce: “Last night, bowing to the requests of millions, David Letterman finally shaved his beard. This was a welcome development as people didn’t like seeing Dave’s face hidden behind all that hair. However, now that Dave’s entire face is once again visible, we would like to say . . . . grow the beard back, Dave!
Paid for by everyone.”
Dave looks down at a blue card on his desk. He then looks over to Barbara, our executive producer. “Am I supposed to do this?” She says for him to pick up the phone. Dave is bewildered, wondering why he would be getting a phone call on a fake phone. Dave picks up the phone and we pickup the transmission of a traffic report from the California Highway Patrol. It was very confusing. It made no sense.
Paul chimes, “You don’t see that stuff on shows without writers . . . only shows WITH writers. Dave laughs at Paul’s observation.
Senator John McCain and Mitt Romney have been at each other’s throats lately. In fact, during Sunday’s Meet The Press, Tim Russert questioned Senator McCain about his latest attack commercial. We see a clip from Meet The Press. RUSSERT, to McCain: “Let me show you an ad that, and our viewers, that you have on the web about Mitt Romney. Let’s watch.”
We see a McCain campaign ad. It’s a photo of Mitt Romney. After a beat, we hear “Mitt Romney is a jackass.” Cut to a shot of John McCain: “ I’m John McCain and I approve this message.”
Back to “Meet the Press.” A smiling John McCain says to Tim Russert, “Pretty good, huh?”
Dave is then interrupted by a gentleman on stage. “Excuse me . . . Excuse me!” Dave addresses the man. The guy then holds up a piece of paper for all to see. GUY: “You see this? (holds up piece of paper) You know what this is? It’s an interim agreement from the Writers Guild of America. And it’s binding. Do you know what that means? It means I can go back to work at the Wayne Brady Show and I don’t have to spend another second in this ‘djoy’-hole.
(to Alan Kalter, giving the finger) So, ‘givl’ you!”
(to Paul, giving the finger) “And ‘GIVL’ you!
(to Dave, giving both fingers) “And ‘GIIIIIIIIVL’ YOU!”
The guy exits.
Paul doesn’t quite understand the need for an interim agreement to work on a show that’s been off the air for three years.
What? Another phone call on the phony phone? Dave picks it up and we hear another report from the California Highway Police. I’m not sure how we’re picking up their radio signals.
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES:
We see JFK.
We see Ronald Reagan.
We see George W. Bush: “I doubt I’d be standing here if I hadn’t quit drinking whiskey. And beer. And wine and all that.”
Another phone call? Dave picks up the phone to hear another report from the CHIPS.
During the break, Bill Medley sings “Justine.”
ACT 2:
Dave asks, “Ever try the Jamba Juice?” Ahh, the Jamba Juice, now that’s some delicious stuff. It’s the perfect thing to have on a hot balmy day in early January. So tonight we’re going to play, “How Many Striking Writers Can We Get Into A Jamba Juice?” Paul and the band, with vocals from Bill Medley, perform an opening song. Dave, a bit embarrassed, says to the great Bill Medley, “Bill, you’re a huge star. You don’t have to play along with us.”
We have a camera set up on the Jamba Juice directly across the street from the Ed Sullivan Theater o Broadway. Before sending in the strikers, Dave and Paul enjoy a Jamba Juice. Dave loves the Jamba but always makes the mistake of having two when one is perfect. 15 minutes after having the second one and you’ll feel sick. Dave recommends one Jamba Juice. Dave didn’t offer but here’s some Jamba Juice Fun Facts.
- founded in California in 1990
- 700 stores nationwide.
- Each year, Jamba Juice uses over 1 billion oranges in their juice drinks and 20 million pounds of strawberries.
OK, let’s send some striking writers into Jamba Juice. Dave calls for the first striker. In walks a striking writer with his picket sign. He takes his position inside the store by the big window. In goes another, and then another striking writer. Dave calls for 3 more, and then 5 more. And then he calls for an even dozen.
Did you notice the mathematical error by Dave? Dave called for 5 strikers to enter. He then said, “Let’s double that, plus one. Send in 12 more.” WRONG.
Doubling 5 gives you 10. Plus one gives you 11. Dave should have said, “Let’s add one and double it.” That would give you 12. The way Dave said it would give you 11. I believe that has something to do with the Commutative Law.
The Jamba Juice is now loaded with 23 striking writers with 22 picket signs. One must have forgotten his. Dave then sends in a Spider-Man. And then Moses. And then a bear. And that’s how many striking writers we can get into a Jamba Juice. Spider-Man, Moses, and the bear were Late Show staffers. The striking writers were actually striking writers.
During the break, Bill Medley sang “Bring Back That Loving Feeling.”
ACT 3:
Dave recalls where he was the first time he heard that song, “That Loving Feeling.” He remembers it being in the back seat of a car trying to unhook a bra.
Another phone call from the California Highway Patrol. I’m surprised it wasn’t a report of a man in the back of a car trying to unhook a bra.
TOP TEN: Signs You’re Watching Bad Election Coverage. #8. Exit polling question: “Did you have trouble finding the exit?”
LUCY LIU: From ABC’s new show, Cashmere Mafia. It premiered Tuesday night but it airs regularly on Wednesday at 10:00.
Lucy is from New York and spent time with her family over the holidays. Her family likes to use that time to . . . organize. It’s not unusual for them to clean out their closets on Christmas day. (In my family over the holidays, we like to clean out my wallet.)
What does Lucy like to do in the city on the beautiful day like we had today? She likes to exercise and ride her bike, and she’s started taking rides in those pedicabs so common now in the city. The pedicab is like a rickshaw where the passenger sits in a little carriage while he/she is bicycled around by a pedaller in front. Dave is familiar with the pedicabs and calls them a “litigation nightmare.” Yippee! I can’t agree more. I have no idea what insurance the pedicab drivers have and they have no respect for any traffic laws. They ride in and out of traffic, never stopping at lights, never signaling, never looking. I can’t believe the city lets them get away with that, and I can’t believe one of those pedicabs haven’t been flattened by an equally traffic law-breaking cab driver. And shouldn’t kids be required to wear a helmet when riding in the back of one of those?
Lucy knows quite a few languages, and names Mandarin, Italian, Japanese and English. Mandarin is the most common dialect in China; Cantonese the most common in Hong Kong. She tries to teach Dave some Mandarin, explaining the different meanings of “Mah.” It sounded confusing to me, but Lucy swore it was all quite simple.
I’ll stick to my fractured English.
To finish up, we see a clip from Lucy’s new program, Cashmere Mafia. This caught me by surprise since we usually don’t show clips from television programs. But before we saw the clip, I yelled out “Shecky footage!” I was right. We saw an old black and white clip of a women involved in a stickup. “Do what they say; they have guns!” exclaimed the frightened and intimidated husband.
ACT 4:
Dave gets another phone call from the California Highway Patrol. Traffic must be crazy out there.
ACT 5:
It’s the striking writers in the Jamba Juice hanging out. I think they’ve gained the support of the Jamba crowd.
ACT 6:ALEX ROY – 7-time Road Rally champion and author of “Driver: My Dangerous Pursuit of Speed and Truth in the Outlaw Racing World.”
Outlaw racing? Yeah, illegal racing, like The Cannonball Run, racing across the country. The record was 32 hours and 7 minutes, from New York to San Diego. Alex wanted to break the record. This race sort of died out in the 80s because it had gotten too dangerous. But it was a record Alex dreamed of breaking. A lot is involved in setting out to break the record. You need a co-pilot who will keep watch for the police, animals, other cars and anything that might get in the way. Alex hired a guy to fly along above to scout any police officers waiting up ahead. And there was lots of planning. The route was mapped out; what gas stations he would hit; bathroom breaks plotted; and where to pick up a quick snake. He then took two practice runs.
He was ready for the Cannonball Run. He waited till Columbus Day weekend. Starting in Manhattan, Alex drove through the Holland Tunnel and made it to the Pennsylvania border in an hour. He was in St. Louis in 9 hours. He hits speeds of 160 mph in the desert. He flew past a cop while going 80 mph with one headlight in Santa Monica. He made it cross country in a record 31 hours, 4 minutes. 31 HOURS, 4 MINUTES!!!! Wow! It’s taken me that long to commute into work!
ACT 7: MGMT: From their CD, “Oracular Spectacular,” MGMT performed “Time To Pretend.” Hey, I liked it. Any band that uses a Moog is OK by me. I liked the “Heroes” by Bowie undertones feel to it.
And that was our show for Tuesday January 8, 2008.
Pioneers of Television (late night) tonight at 8:00 PM on PBS. There’s a full-page ad in today’s New York Times with a split-photo of Johnny Carson and Joey Bishop. Hmmm, I’ll have to watch.
Now Hillary is the charm of the Democratic Party again. Following Iowa, she was on the brink of dropping out. Now after New Hampshire, she’s the comeback kid and the front runner . . . at least that’s what the media would have us believe. John Edwards . . . he’s done. After campaigning for a year, he’s done in less than a week. At least that’s what I’m hearing on the talk shows.
I figure any major candidate should at least wait a few weeks for Super Tuesday to make such a drastic decision on whether to drop out or not.
But now, let Cynical Mike takes a look at the political process. As always, I need to preface this with the familiar “I Know Nothing About Politics.” Here goes.
Let’s say John Edwards has built up a large treasure chest of money to run for President. If he continues through Super Tuesday, a big amount of that cache will be lost. If he drops out now, where does that money go? Does it go into his pocket, or does it go back to the DNC? Where does it go? Maybe . . . and here’s where I’ll probably sound like a political dolt . . . maybe the reason some candidates drop out so soon is so they don’t deplete their campaign fund before it goes into their pocket. And maybe some candidates run for President simply to get a pile of dough to fatten their wallet down the road.
I’m almost 50. You’d think I’d know stuff like this by now.
And Ron Paul, who had no place on the Republican Forum the other night on FOX, finished 1% point behind Rudolph Giuliani. Fred Thompson, who also was deemed worthy to be on the FOX Republican Forum, received 1% of the vote. I was right behind Thompson with 0%.
I’m no Ron Paul supporter, but if the media makes such a big deal out of Iowa and New Hampshire, why are they ignoring Ron Paul?
The Indianapolis Colts were losing 7-0 to the Chicago Bears 10 seconds into the game in last year’s Super Bowl. If the Colts were running for President, they would have dropped out of the game.
It’s 10:30 AM Wednesday. I see that Senator John McCain is campaigning in Michigan. I’m sure the other candidates are there, too. Yikes. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with the campaign. I can’t imagine being involved with one. Is it really worth it? I can’t help but think: “Anyone who wants to be President, shouldn’t be.
I’ve given up waiting for the networks to do the right thing, to do the decent thing, and stop showing football players dancing and prancing after every little thing they do. You would think the networks would know better than to celebrate poor sportsmanship. But they don’t. They don’t know the right thing to do. So let me try this approach. If my team is losing and the opposing team is taunting and rubbing it in our face, it is likely I will eventually turn off the TV in frustration. I don’t like to be taunted. By the networks showing this LAME (“Look At Me, Everybody”) stuff, they will lose viewers like me who are rooting for the losing team. Therefore, showing taunts is bad for ratings.
Look at it that way, CBS, FOX, NBC, ABC, and ESPN.
And another thing, as a rule TV avoids showing unruly fans running onto a baseball field and interrupting the game. They believe by showing the unruly fans running onto the field, they will only encourage the next fan to do the same thing. I think they are right. By the same token, showing a tight end celebrating with a cartwheel after catching a 4-yard pass will only encourage the next tight end to do the same. Stop showing it!
Oh, I like these Shockey-less Giants a lot. And I hate to say it because I don’t want to jinx them, but I like the Giants this week against . . . nope . . . I’m not gonna say it. Not gonna say it.
This morning’s traffic jam on the George Washington Bridge was brought to you by. . . . a female jogger. Yup, a female was jogging along the bicycle lane/walkway on the south side of the George Washington Bridge. Every male driver had to slow down to gape, hoping to see the jogger’s breasts bounce up and down. It caused a backup of about a mile. Men can be so stupid. How pathetic.
Hey, Bazooka Joe, the tiny print in your comics is killing me. Put it back to the size it used to be when I was a kid.
This summer I plan to send away for plans to build my own Nativity scene for Christmas and display it on my front lawn for the holiday. I hope to make it so good that someone comes along and steals Jesus. You know you have a good Nativity scene when someone steals your Jesus.
CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Not able to tell the difference between what I say and what Dave says, it’s Scott Isaacs.
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Michael Z. McIntee – also known as “The Guy”
mikemack@aol.com
ACT 1 • Show Open • Dave's Monologue Watch now • Grow the Beard Back, Dave • Mysterious Phone Call • Senator John McCain on "Meet The Press" • The F.U. Guy • Mysterious Phone Call • Great Moments in Presidential Speeches • Mysterious Phone Call
ACT 2 • How Many Striking Writers Can Fit Into a Jamba Juice
ACT 3 • Top Ten Signs You're Watching Bad Election Coverage Read now
