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Last Night's Top Ten

Top Ten Excuses For Not Having Sex

Thursday, July 24, 2014

10. "Tried it once, not for me"

9. "I would, but I find you physically repulsive"

8. "My employer won't let me get birth control"

7. "Barometric pressure eerily unsteady"

6. "Haven't been in the mood since my horse exploded"

5. "Uh -- polar vortex?"

4. "You don't own the Los Angeles Clippers anymore"

3. "Ewww"

2. "What's in it for me?"

1. "I'm saving myself for my next marriage"