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Wednesday, November 7, 2012 After a long campaign, Dave's sons take a final bow.
Show #3755
Brian Williams, and Ne-Yo.
PLUS: a glum FoxNews; goodbye to Mitt; Dave's boys; Tweets from the prominent; a Top Ten list; and Brian Williams hurries to work.

" . . . and now, the projected winner of Florida . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE

-"Obama won the Electoral and Popular Vote. Mitt won the unpopular vote."
-"Earlier today, Obama turned over his college records to Donald Trump . . . . the Electoral College."

There was a lot of celebrating at the networks last night, but not so much at FOX. We take a look at how they reacted when the election was called for Obama. FOX ANNOUNCER: (morose and with great sadness and exhaustion) "With Ohio in his corner, we can now project that . . . Barack Obama . . . has been re-elected president of the United States. Fox News will . . . ahh, something something . . . who cares? Leave me alone."

The presidential race has come to an end and so we must now put to rest the many Mitt Romney references we've grown so accustomed to over the past year. We take a look at this Mitt montage, In Memoriam. Over sad mood music, we watch our Best of Mitt.
-Mitt unbuttoning his shirt
-Singing backwards
-Being hit by a wrecking ball
-Dancing Gingnam Style
-Putting a college graduate in a headlock
-His dressage horse
-His dog on the roof of his car
-Mitt in mustache.
-Mitt exiting the Late Show stage

Good bye, Mitt.

ACT 2:
Dave waited three hours to vote. He later learned he was on a line for gas.

Dave misses the big clunky voting machines. I'm with him on this. I really don't like the new fangled.

There's been with him through thick and thin. It's been a very exhausting ordeal and they've been there to support Dave every step of the way. Dave calls for them to come out and take a bow. It's Dave's boys. A team of Dave sons in khakis and light blue shirts enter behind Dave. There's Borg, Mott, Blip, Joe, Plonk, and Glub. They wave to the appreciative audience and nod to the proud dad. They then exit.

Boy, talk about disappointment! If Romney had won, these guys would have been making an appearance for the next four years. Wow, what an easy pay day gone kaput!

Last night's election was the highest tweeted event ever. Before the twitter, people would have to keep their thoughts to themselves. I kind of like that time better. Dave takes a moment to take a look at some of the tweets from our most prominent twitterers in something we call, "2012 Election Twitter Round-Up."
ANNOUNCE: "Speaker of the House John Boehner: 'Thank you to Mitt, Paul & their families for carrying the banner of our party and principles w/ strength, grace, & courage.'
United Kingdom Prime Minister David Cameron: 'Warm congratulations to my friend Barack Obama. Look forward to continuing to work together.'
Donald Trump: 'Richard Belzer is a stone cold loser with no talent - why did they ever put him on 'Law & Order'?
This has been '2012 Election Twitter Round-Up'"

TOP TEN: SIGNS YOU WERE WATCHING BAD ELECTION COVERAGE
6. Too much attention paid to exit polls in Canada and Mexico
2. When Colorado passed Amendment 64, news anchor lit up a joint.

Shouldn't the Colorado marijuana proposition been called "Amendment 420"?

ACT 3:
BRIAN WILLIAMS

Mr. Williams he will forever be impressed and proud at America's national election and "The peaceful transfer of power." I was perusing my daughter's American history book and just read the origin of that phrase, "The peaceful transfer of power." It goes back to the election of Thomas Jefferson, a Republican-Democrat, who defeated the Federalist John Adams. It was a transfer of power from one political party to another.
Having children makes you dumber for about ten years because you shut down from the rest of world while you try to keep up with your running rug-rats. And then when you have to start helping them with their homework, they make you smarter again because you learn stuff you were supposed to have learned when you were their age.
What did Brian Williams think of the election? He uses a baseball movie analogy. You know, this is why I like Brian Williams so much. He probably agrees with me that everything in life can be explained with baseball. He likens the 2008 election of Barack Obama to the inspirational, the spine-tingling, the right-to-the-heart baseball movie, "The Natural."
This election was more like "Moneyball." Obama's team was very calculating, very mathematical, very smart, and very directed in what they felt needed to be done to win the election. They analyzed specific groups in the important swing states and prepared months ahead of time to get the independent, undecided voter to their side. It was a tremendously organized and well-thought out plan of attack.
Dave tries to egg the non-biased Brian Williams into saying something snarky about Karl Rove. Dave feels he tried to sway voters through lies and fear. All Mr. Williams will say is that Karl Rove's people had a bad night. Dave then does an impersonation of Karl Rove . . . or maybe it was of Charlie Callas.

Brian says he signed off the election coverage at NBC at 3:00 AM . . . just as the winds of a nor'easter was picking up. Right now as he sat with Dave, there was a blizzard outside. It was a terrible insult to injury to what so many have gone through in these parts in New York and New Jersey. A blizzard on the heels of a hurricane . . . it makes you wonder . . it makes you realize the weather in the northeast is changing. Williams wonders, "How will we live in the future?" He adds that when you have no power, it gets cold very quickly. And then you think of those who are without power because they have no home. It's tragic. Brian is a New Jerseyan and like many in these parts, spent wonderful summers at the Jersey Shore. We see a photo of a very young Brian Williams on the beach of Seaside Heights. Everyone in these parts has the same photo of themselves. Such great family memories of carefree summers down at the Jersey Shore. It was where you would go to escape the reality of . . . . . reality. And now it is like Hurricane Sandy came and critically harmed our place of refuge, a kick in the stomach to our innocence. At the Jersey Shore you are forever young. It hurts to see it so hurting.

Dave mentions how Republican New Jersey Governor Chris Christie embraced and lauded the work of President Obama in response to Hurricane Sandy. And for that, Christie received a lot of grief and criticism from his fellow Republicans . . . but not from the people! The people involved had no problem with a Republican applauding a Democrat. It's the way things are supposed to work. A politician's first priority is to the people they serve. Unfortunately, today's political machine has their priorities backwards. No matter the party, the priorities of a politician are:
To themselves
To the Party
To the people

Brian Williams - the anchor and managing editor of the NBC Nightly News and the host of "30 Rock with Brian Williams," Thursday nights at 10:00 PM on the NBC.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Get back here tomorrow for Dave and his guests Robin Williams, Lianne La Havas, and a special Top Ten presented by Homer Simpson. The Mayor's Fund to Advance New York City is providing relief to city residents affected by Hurricane Sandy. You can help. Visit NYC.gov/fund to make a donation. Thank you."

ACT 6:
We tape from 4:30 to 5:30. Brian Williams has his news show at 6:00 PM. When he visits the Late Show, he has to hurry back to Rockefeller Plaza 6 blocks away. We like to watch his quick exit whenever he is here. We take a look.
We see him stopped by a fan of his news asking for an autograph. Even though he is in a hurry, he makes time to fulfill this fan's dream. He signs . . . and then he steals her umbrella. Hey, it's raining and snowing out and Brian is going on the air in just a few minutes. He needs the umbrella more than the woman.

ACT 7:
NE-YO
: From his new album, "R.E.D." Ne-Yo performs "Let Me Love You." "R.E.D." is pronounced "Red." It stands for "Realizing Every Dream."

And that was our show for Wednesday, November 7, 2012. Well, that was disappointing. I was hoping for a Game 7 with extra innings. Instead we get an election that was like a World Series decided in 5 games. No drama, no last second heroics. I had my soda pop and chips ready for a long night of premature and faulty projections . . . . but it was over before it barely started. Where was the fun in that? I was hoping to see a big eyeball in a magnifying glass like in 2000.

Mitt Romney: Like father, like son.

This just in: Boehner crying!

Mitt's not discouraged. He said this campaign was actually an early start for 2016.

My daughters' are taking an AP American History course. I'm finding it harder and harder to B.S. my way through political conversation around the house.

I went to bed with Romney ahead of Obama in the popular vote by less than 400 votes. Yikes. Millions had voted and Romney was ahead by only 400. I tried to explain to my girls about the Electoral College and why Obama was already declared the winner, but they ended up explaining it to me.

I was watching the local/local news during the election coverage. Being interviewed was one of the local politicians placing his ballot into the computer thing. He had his ballot face up. With today's high-def TV and the pause button, I imagine someone could see who the politician voted for if they so wanted.

I really don't like the voting "booths" at my polling station. No curtain, no crank, no privacy. But I do love the bake sale at my polling place at the local firehouse. I bought two brownies and two homemade twinkies for $3. It's really the only reason I vote.

Do today's computer voting machines make you nervous? Computers are great, but when we lose touch of the input information . . . when the information input goes from the user to wherever it goes and then comes out the other end, I'm always concerned something can "happen" to our input information. I'm afraid when we lose contact with our vote, somebody can come in and futz with it before it comes back out . . . tampering, some kind of virus, or identity/vote theft kind of thing. You always hear how a computer has been hacked or infiltrated. I'm afraid the same can be done to the vote. I predict a big mess down the road. The old machines were clunkier and slow, but I have more faith in them than I do with these new-fangled computers. That's what I think . . . and stop calling me "Grandpa"

Politicians will say and do anything to get elected. But what would you promise if you needed to beg for a job every two or four years? I guess I would say anything my boss wanted to hear, too.

Is it too early to start the campaign for Christie vs. Hillary 2016? Christie is promising a chocolate cake in every pot.

The problem with the Republican Party is they make it too easy to vote against them.

Colorado and Washington: Spoken and Smokin'

Poor Mitt . . . first Rafalca, now this.

I'll have what Diane Sawyer's having.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
He's Double Nickels! From Cazenovia, New York via Burnt Hills, it's SUNY Cortland Soccer's Hall of Famer, the husband of the lovely Carri Holl, and it's his birthday today . . . it's Neale Moore.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

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