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Thursday, June 20, 2013 Yours truly making some extra money on the side.
Show #3869

John Travolta, Chris Distefano, and Japandroids.
PLUS: Protection from the Sun; Putin Putting Away the Silver; a Top Ten List; and Is the Limo Driver for Dave?

" . . . and now, forever in seersucker . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:
MONOLOGUE:
- "Celebrity birthday this week: Meryl Streep. Meryl is a great actress. When she opens a birthday present, you really believe that she likes it."

Summer has arrived. You sun will be extra hot this year and you need to use caution, but this may be a little too much. Dave saw this odd commercial today.
ANNOUNCE: "The sun's rays can be harmful. Protect the sensitive skin of your hot dogs with French's SPF 45 Mustard. It's . . . ."
Hard cut to graphic: "Joke's Over."

Wow! I didn't know we had that "Joke's Over" graphic. We can really use that!

President Obama met with Russian president Vladimir Putin recently. We take a look at the two at their meeting. Looks like neither wants to be there. Dave says it looks like Thanksgiving with the relatives. And there's nothing for them to talk about. They already know everything from tapping each other's phone.

You heard that Putin is accused of stealing the Super Bowl ring of New England Patriots team owner Rob Kraft. Well, check out what happened the other day when Putin met with President Obama in Northern Ireland. We take a look.
There we see Obama sitting with Putin. A snack table rests between them. On the table is a setting of sliver. Putin quietly, quickly, slyly takes the silver setting piece by piece and slips it under his jacket. No one was the wiser.
Commie!

ACT 2:
TOP TEN: SIGNS YOU HAVE A BAD SUMMER JOB
Following the opening animation, we see a limo driver in the skyline behind Dave holding a sign, "Letterman," you often see at an airport. The driver says nothing. Dave finally notices.
DAVE: "Oh, what? What is. . . . oh, hi, I'm Dave Letterman, but I didn't call a car."
LIMO DRIVER: (puzzled) "Oh, no no. This isn't for a car. The network was just worried that people didn't know who you were."
DAVE: " . . . oh, uh huh. Yeah, well, that's nice. OK, I think you can go now."
Dave goes back to his business of the Top Ten but notices the limo driver isn't going anywhere. He looks back at the driver in a bit of confusion. The limo driver subtly motions with his hand, a universal sign of he's expecting something.
DAVE: "Oh, for the love of . . . . " Dave gets up and hands the limo driver a tip. The driver tips his cap just a smidge and says "Very good, sir." He exits.

It was a five.

TOP TEN: SIGNS YOU HAVE A BAD SUMMER JOB
9. You spend ten hours a day digging for Jimmy Hoffa.
8. They make you share a whistle
5. A big part of your day involved dodging Federales
3. To go home at the end of the day, you have to escape.

ACT 3:
JOHN TRAVOLTA
Dave is always interested in John's piloting the big planes. John has 11 jet licenses with over 8,500 flying hours. He flew to Indianapolis for the Super Bowl and was amazed at how huge the name David Letterman is in the area. It carries big-time weight. "David Letterman walks on water in Indianapolis." Dave counters, "It says less about me and more about the water in Indianapolis."
We see a photo of John with a bride and groom. Who are they? John isn't quite sure but he met them the night before their wedding. He was in Georgia staying at a hotel where there was going to be a wedding the next day. The next morning, John was running very late to a meeting and was stopped by the bride and groom. They asked if John would pose for a picture with them. John said he was in a terrible hurry and couldn't delay. He apologized. And then he saw the faces of the entire wedding party drop down to the floor. How could he say 'no'? So John posed with the bride and groom, and then with the entire wedding party for some photos. He became a hero to them all. Yup, and that's all it takes. Some people have to save an elderly woman from a burning building to be considered a hero. A celebrity just has to pose for some pictures.
Dave can't get over that John has a huge jet plane in his driveway. It almost seems like John uses his plane like we would use our car. "Need a loaf of bread? OK, I'll pick up a loaf . . . in Nebraska. Be right back." John puts his pilot's license to good use, traveling the world with family and friends. Dave tries to lasso a trip to New Zealand out of John. Being the hero that he is, John gladly accepts the challenge of spending 17 hours on a plane with Dave. Me? I'm small minded and intimidated by big stars. The most I would do would be to ask John for a plane ride to the airport.
Travolta's new film, "Killing Season," starring alongside the great Robert Deniro, opens July 12th.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Do whatever's necessary to join Dave tomorrow as he welcomes Steve Martin, Jenna Fischer, and music from Steve Martin and Edie Brickell. Special Promotion! For tonight only, the Late Show is waiving the usual shipping and handling fees. Look for the credit on next month's bill."

ACT 6:
CHRIS DISTEFANO
Very funny! Great job by Chris, especially for a network television debut. If you're from these parts, you know someone who comes from a family exactly like the Distefano's. Chris's dad was involved in . . . . well, if you're from here, you know what "involved" means. Chris never knew what his dad did for a living. He never had a job but always had money. And everything was bought with cash. My favorite part was how Chris would describe the businesses of his dad's friends. No matter what they did, they controlled all the sales and distribution "up and down the east coast." I laughed because nearly everyone I knew in college was soon in charge of whatever, blah blah blah blah, whatever whatever "of the entire east coast." It always left me wondering what I was doing wrong. At the next reunion these same guys were a junior vice president of something.
Chris Distefano (deh-STEFF-enno) - he'll be performing at Caroline's on Broadway right here in New York City on June 30th.

ACT 7:
JAPANDROIDS
From their sophomore album, "Celebration Rock," the Canadian duo performed "Adrenaline Nightshift."
That's a lot of sound from two guys!
The two guys: Dave Prowse on drums; Brian King on guitar.

And that was our show for Thursday, June 20, 2013

I missed most of the beginning of the show as I was backstage getting ready for my limo appearance.

During my limo bit, (I was the limo driver behind Dave) I kept looking into a monitor off to the side trying to keep my "Letterman" sign straight. I probably didn't need to be so concerned. After I did my lines, I was instructed to cough/clear my throat to get Dave's attention once again. I was expecting a tip. Dave catches on and reluctantly gives me a fin. It wasn't scripted for me to do so, but I sort of twitched my hand and motioned with my fingers to signal what I was waiting for. After it was over, I was afraid I made my intentions too obvious. I wished I had halved my hand signal, and wondered if I should have motioned at all. I expressed my concerns to some staffers who assured me I didn't overdo it, but friends tend to lie in such cases. I won't know until I watch at home . . . if I watch at home. I don't really like watching myself.

Oh, and that was me as Vladimir Putin's body-double stealing the silver setting. Before taping the piece, I went through the motions at least 15 times. I wanted it to look effortless with little fumble, little stumble. I took the items in different order, put them in different areas under my jacket, repositioned the items on the tray, etc. By the time we were ready, I had my plan of attack all set. After the first take, I was told to go just a bit slower. (I was too good! Yeah, that's what I thought). The second take was more what was wanted. And then we did a third take which included my taking the silver tray as well. We went with #2. And that's how an actor prepares.

As soon as you finish re-reading the Wahoo for the third time, check out Dave on Jerry Seinfeld's "Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee" on the internets.

I was out on the back porch Wednesday night. Cool evening, clear sky, bright moon, Miller High Life in my hand, Beethoven on the CD player. Through the window I watched the Boston Bruins/Chicago Blackhawks Stanley Cup Game 4 on the TV. Great game, and found that Beethoven and Stanley Cup playoff hockey really go great together. Tremendous energy, both. Try it.

I always thought a good non-quarterback position for Tim Tebow would be tight end. It's what I thought the Patriots were thinking when they picked him up. He could be a backup backup quarterback and a sometimes tight end. And then what do we hear about New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez? He may be involved in a little thing called murder. It took place in February but is just now hitting the public. My guess is when it looked like Hernandez may be deeply involved, the Pats decided they could use another tight end. Hello, Tebow.

Here's what I'm looking at, sports fans.
- 2012 World Series champion San Fran Giants - back from the dead - beat the Reds and the Cardinals in the playoffs, warding off 6 elimination games.
- 2013 Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens - - back from the dead - a last-second Hail Mary pass against the Denver Broncos spring boards them onward. Never should have won that playoff game.
- 2013 NBA champion . . . Miami Heat back from the dead? If the Spurs made that one foul shot late in the 4th quarter, the Heat would have been done. They should never have won Game 6.
- 2013 Stanley Cup . . . . the Boston Bruins back from the dead? Down by 2 goals with less than a minute-and-a-half to play vs. the Toronto Maple Leafs in the first round of the playoffs. Never should have won.

A face-off, a foul shot, a wild pitch, a Hail Mary . . . . made all the difference. The outcomes could . . .probably should . . . . have been just the opposite.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
It's Wagner College alum, Happy Birthday Dana Marano-Connery
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
mikemack@aol.com
Twitter: @WahooMike

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