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Friday, November 22, 2013 Dave and Howard Stern dance and make up.
SHOW #3942
Howard Stern, and Adrienne Iapalucci.
PLUS: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford; Rob Ford; Mayor Rob Ford; the Gettysburg Address; and a Top Ten list.

" . . . and now, your host of the daytime nightclub . . . . . . . David Letterman!"

ACT 1:

-"The Stock Market hit 16,000. I called my broker and I said, ‘How does it look for retirement?' He said, ‘Pretty good. How about yours?'"
-"Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is rebuffing all demands to step down . . . like me."

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford says he's been working out two hours each day. Hard to believe, but we have footage released from this office of his working out. We take a look.
It's the VT of the walrus doing sit-ups. BOING!

We've all seen the footage of Rob Ford knocking over that councilwoman at the Toronto council meeting, but what we don't know is why he was charging like an enraged bull. Where was he going? We were able to get a more complete version of the footage which may explain what was happening.
We see Rob Ford at the Toronto city council meeting. He appears calm. An announcement is heard: "Ladies and gentlemen, complimentary crack is now being served in the lobby."
We immediately see Rob Ford break out into a sprint to get to the lobby. The councilwoman got in his way. My guess is she wasn't as eager for the crack.

ACT 2:
Making dreams come true, Dave gives an anniversary couple dinner-for-two to "21." It's the last time he'll do this . . . I guess without proof of a marriage license.

In honor of the 150th anniversary of the Gettysburg Address, Ken Burns got some well-known Americans to recite the historic speech. We take a look.
OBAMA: "Four score and seven years ago . . . ."
CARTER: ". . . our fathers brought forth on this continent . . ."
GW BUSH: " . . . a new nation, conceived in liberty . . . "
CLINTON: ". . . . and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal."
WOLF BLITZER: "Now we are engaged in a great civil war . . ."
ROBIN ROBERTS: " . . . testing whether that nation . . . "
MARTHA STEWART: " . . . or any nation so conceived and . . . "
TRACY MORGAN: " . . . you got yourself one tasty bowl of Tuscan mother-‘givl'ing bean dip."

TOP TEN: THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM A HARDWARE STORE EMPLOYEE – Dave loves to hang in a hardware store. I think it may be the potential you find inside. Everything you need to fix anything, to make new again, can be found in a hardware store. And the smell . . . . a hardware store's smell is beautiful.

We sent a guy . . . stage manager Eddie Valk . . . . to work at an Ace Hardware store on West 3rd Street.
10. "Let me guess, you need some lumber to build a girlfriend."
5. "Hey, wanna have a hammer fight?"
3. "Guess where I hid the lug nut."

Check out Eddie's performance on the Late Show website. While you're there, be sure to read the Wahoo Gazette. It's a wry delight.

ACT 3:

Wow! It's a dapper and mature Howard Stern. Mr. Stern is very nicely dressed . . . like an adult! Howard says he's been watching the show the past few weeks to catch up on things and to prepare for his visit. He noticed that Dave was not dressed as sharply as he's been in the past. Howard says Dave looked like a little shlubby, as if he needed a nap. Dave quips, "Oh, I'll get my nap, now."
One thing you can say about Howard is he is very self-aware. He knows when he comes on the show that there is probably 50% of the audience who are disgusted that he is here. He imagines a couple flying in from the Midwest in hopes of seeing Angelina Jolie on the show, but instead gets Howard Stern. He can understand their disappointment. But then there is the other 50% who are happy to see him. The audience applauds . . . or at least 50% of the audience applauds.
Howard takes a left turn in his stream of consciousness and asks about Steve Martin. Howard says Steve Martin must be the most powerful, the most important guest on the guest docket because he comes on and chats for a while, and then Dave has to let him play the banjo. Howard hates the banjo. Dave tries his best to defend the merits of the great American instrument but Howard doesn't believe it for a minute. Could anybody else pull that off? . . . . coming on Dave's show and playing the banjo? Howard doesn't think so.
Does Howard play an instrument? Howard says he took 5 years of piano lessons and was awful at it. Howard hating playing; the teacher hated teaching him. So bad was Howard's piano playing that the instructor ended up killing himself. Howard says it made both of them a lot happier.
Dave asks how his mom is doing. Howard's parents would often have his mom and dad on his radio show. Dave enlightens that the idea of Dave having his mom on the show came from Howard having his mom on the show. I remember Dave mentioning he learned how to deal with Richard Simmons on the show came from listening to how Howard did it, so that's two ta-da's for Howard. And then Dave and Howard talked about their mothers. It was like we were listening in on one of their "sessions." Much similarity between the two media giants.

Back in the day when Dave was at NBC, Dave and Howard work out of the same NBC building. The staffs would interact and mix, and it came a time where Dave and Howard would speak quite a bit on the phone. They saw that they both shared the joys and curses of being a celebrity. But then Howard would reveal much of their conversations on the radio the next day. Dave considered these chats to be private between two who treasured their privacy. Howard now realizes that was a terrible mistake and has since apologized. But he explains that it came in a time in his life when his radio show was the most important thing in his life. Nothing else came even close. If it meant having to risk a friendship, so be it. The radio show was first and foremost. His radio show soared while friendships soured.

Conversation then turns to who Howard hangs out with. He names a bigwig movie executive. Dave winces. Dave can't understand hanging out with such weasels; a guy of that level. A guy that high up the ladder isn't a blue collar guy; he's not getting it done. He has someone else to get it done, then accepts the plaudits. Howard defends his "friend," then demands to know what this guy ever did to Dave. Dave quickly responds, "Nothing! I never met him!" It wasn't the person that bothered Dave, but the position the guy held.

Dave and Howard then dance check-to-check. I don't get celebrities sometimes.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Get back here Monday for Dave and Josh Hutcherson, and Sky Ferreira. When we come back, our home repair guru shows you how to fix those broken light bulbs you've been saving."

ACT 6:

She made her late night television debut with us tonight and did a great job. The very funny Adrienne will be performing this Saturday night at "The Stand" comedy club right here in New York City.
We learn that more women have given birth to two children than have ever finished an entire chapstick, and if illegal immigrants are taking our jobs, where is the one who will take hers? She's waiting!

And that was our show for Friday, November 22, 2013.

I was in kindergarten in 1963 the day JFK was assassinated. 50 years ago. I remember little. What I do remember was a moment of silence in the kindergarten class. I have to admit it didn't mean much to me. Some in the class nervously giggled since the class had never been that quiet for that long. I do remember teachers, neighbors, and relatives crying some.
I think I was shielded from the TV for a week. I don't remember seeing anything about it. My friend says he remembers seeing Oswald getting shot LIVE on the TV. He still vividly remembers that "WHOA!" moment.

NYC Mayor Bloomberg has raised the age to purchase cigarettes to 21. Help me out, here. Is 18 an adult or not an adult? We deem 18-year-olds mature enough to vote, but not mature enough to buy a cigarette. We deem them mature enough to decide to join the military, but not mature enough to buy a drink. We deem them mature enough to get married, but not mature enough to buy a cigarette or a drink.
Hey! 18 year olds! You're old enough to vote. Do something! Jimminy, organize the 18-20 year old vote and you can have anything you want! They stopped a war that way back in the 70s.

Howard Stern --- not everybody's cup of tea. I like him. I used to listen to him every morning on my drive in to work. I have the Sirius at home but I don't like him as much now. I found him more fun when he had limits to what he could say and do. I liked to see how far he could go and still stay on the safe side. I found his conversation with Dave very interesting and enlightening. Say and think what you want about him but you probably will not find anyone else in the business who was as driven, hard-working, determined, and loyal to his art as Howard Stern was and still is on the way up. He admits that he placed his radio show and ratings about everything else, even friendship. He knows now that was a probably a mistake, but it's easy to say that now. (It's like me and the Wahoo, except it's not . . . Huh?)

Howard reminds me a bit of what New York Jets great wide receiver Don Maynard once said about Joe Namath. Maynard was a quiet, straight-laced, no-nonsense Texan. Namath was the brash, loud, flamboyant quarterback of the New York Jets known as much for his play off the field as his play on. Said Maynard about Namath: "Whenever you read about Joe's football ability, you have to multiply it to get a true picture. And what you read about his nightlife, you have to divide." The greatness came with incredible hard work. Flamboyance can also include an intense work ethic.

Man! It happened again the other night. Final Jeopardy.
A) 1st place guy has $8,700;
B) 2nd place has $8,300.
C) 3rd place has $4,900.
The last place person bet it all.
The 2nd place person bet it all.
1st place bet it all except $500. They all got Final Jeopardy wrong. The guy who was in 1st place won with $500.
These are smart people who don't know how to bet in Final Jeopardy. It's not that hard.
The only way 2nd place can win is if 1st place gets it wrong. 3rd place can win only if 1st AND 2nd gets it wrong.
"A" with 8700 --- has to bet enough if "B", with 8300, bets it all.
-"A" has to bet at least 7901 to cover "B" betting it all.
"B" knows this. The only way "B" wins is if "A" gets it wrong. "A" is betting at least 7901, so "A" is down to 799 if he gets it wrong. "B" has to only bet enough to cover "C" – 4900 - betting it all. Therefore, "B" has to bet at least 1601.
"C" knows this. "C" should bet 1800, since B will be betting at least 1601. And there you have it. It's just that simple! I think.

The worst part of all this Alex Rodriguez-talk on the radio is it keeps me from the fun of listening to all the dismal New York Knicks-talk.
Shortly after the assassination, journalist Mary McGrory sadly said to Daniel Patrick Moynihan, "We will never laugh again." Moynihan, who had worked with John F. Kennedy responded, "Mary, we will laugh again. But we will never be young again."

Time now for This Date in CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER History
November 22, 2000: From New York City, it's Amanda White. Thanks for reminding me of the piano joke.
This concludes another installment of This Date in CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER History

Telling us which way the wind is blowing, from FOX CT News, it's meteorologist Matt Scott.
This concludes another installment CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
Twitter: @WahooMike

Wahoo Gazette Archive

Monday, May 18
Hovering! with Tom Hanks
Saturday, May 16
Oprah and Dave indulge in a selfie.
Thursday, May 14
Tom Waits, Dave and what's-his-name.
Wednesday, May 13
Julia and Dave squeeze in one last hug.
Tuesday, May 12
Adam Sandler performs a musical ode to Dave.