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Diary Archive
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November 12, 2004
Tonight’s the night! Our first real date! We will definitely claim the title of World’s Cutest Most Adorable Couple. But why am I so nervous? My palms are so sweaty that when I high-fived Grace she was disgusted. If only I knew where Adam’s taking me. Judith’s still holding out on me. Before the day’s through, I’ll get her to crack. I know it. She can only distract me with this juggling crap for so long.
November 13, 2004
Last night Judith was stabbed to death. While Adam and I were on our date, she went out with some of her idiot friends and they tried to buy some X and she was stabbed to death. Judith was stabbed to death. It’s weird to say it. Doesn’t seem real. People you know aren’t supposed to get stabbed to death. It’s just something you hear about. I feel like I’m gonna throw up, but I never do. Last night I woke up, and the pain in my heart…it hurt so bad…I just wanted to scream and cry. I wanted to rip my heart out to make it stop. But I just curl into a ball and lay there. I don’t know what else to do.
November 15, 2004
I have to stay strong for Judith. But she’s not here. She’d want me to be strong. I miss her so much. I’m not that strong. I have to be, though, have to keep going, have to keep living. For Judith. Where are you Judith? Why’d you leave me? There’s no Joanith without you. Just Joan. Just me. Alone.
November 16, 2004
“You Know Who” says it’s about juggling choices. Good choices. Bad choices. But this feels like juggling chain saws. I don’t know if I can do this…How could you let this happen? I know you hear me. HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?
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