The first time I played SURVIVOR, I was going balls-out, trying to be the strongest person I could be, not too in control of my emotions. I don't have a lot of patience for people and stupidity, so I let a lot of things get to me. This time around, I bit my tongue a lot more, I walked away a lot more, kept my mouth quiet, listened more than I spoke, and eased back in the Challenges a lot so that I didn't look like such a threat. Some people may have liked that, some people may have not, but it got me six days further into this game than it did the first time. Instead of being the first member on the Jury, I am now the third member on the Jury. As long as I placed better than I did the first time, I'm perfectly happy with that. I have no qualms.
The reason why I wanted to do SURVIVOR: ALL-STARS? Quite honestly, I didn't really say to myself, "I want to do SURVIVOR: ALL-STARS." I had to question myself; I wasn't sure if I wanted to come back and play this game again, because the first time was an amazing experience, and I'd like to preserve that. Maybe the second time around would not be so great for me. But on the flipside of that, I had to think, how would I feel if I pass up the opportunity to play the game again? I think that's something I may have regretted for the rest of my life: that I had the opportunity to try again, and I didn't. That pretty much made the decision for me. I don't want to regret anything in my life. So, I decided, "What the hell? Let's give it another go; let's try this one more time."
You know what? I walk away from this experience knowing that this is something I could do, knowing that I can put myself to the ultimate test, knowing that I can put a goal in my head and I can achieve it, that I can bring myself there, that I can do what I have to do and focus on that to get myself where I want to be. Of course, I would have wanted to win the million dollars, but I did better than I did the first time. I learned from the mistakes I made in Australia, and I brought them here to Panama, and I played the game the way I thought I should play it, according to the mistakes that I made the first time, so that I don't reenact those again. So I learned from those mistakes, and I did play better. I totally feel I played better this time, so the end results are good ones. There are no problems there.
I now get to sit on the Jury; this game is far from over for me. I am going to be listening in to everything that happens, and I get to have a hand in deciding who wins the million dollars. That decision is not going to be made without my input, and believe me, I'm going to give it. That's one thing I think people here know about me, that I shoot from the hip. I'm not fake, and I say what I feel, unless I walk away. If I'm quiet, that means I don't want to say anything. So I think they need to know now, the people I had an alliance with, that I am going to be deciding their fate, and I am not going to make it easy for them.
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