Week 10
Ivette

hey big brother fans....finally i got hoh!!! its been fabulous. i've been waiting so long to make a move in this game and guarantee my safety that, this victory couldn't have come at a better time. oh wait, maybe it could have...last week when my beau was still here. losing beau was a very big and sad loss. i miss him like crazy. however, we spoke before his eviction and we are content with our many accomplishments. specially being the last pair standing. so about my hoh room...i am so blessed to have a wonderful girlfriend and family back at home. my maggie, "tush", sent me her rosary and my bunny from home and my "worm" (mom), sent me a little pillow that i once gave her which reads "i love you, mom." i also got my favorite, orangina, frosted flakes, jello, chapstick, floss, and a lot of other goodies. however, the most important gift of all...my pictures of my tush and my mom. i miss them like you guys can't imagine. enough about that...about the week...there hasn't been much. the girl scout troop is still strong, jani and her beefcake howie will no longer be together. i'm sorry to the fans who love them, but i can't break my promise to the girls.

i'm sure a lot of you probably don't agree with the way i'm playing the game, however, i feel as if i play it with my original intentions of honesty and get to the end...then the game can be played without backstabbing and deceit. at this point if i did take up janelle and howies' offer of teaming up with them...i would have no votes at the end. its better for me to stay true to myself and take the honest gamble. this game has taught me alot about the important things in life, morals, odds, weakness, strengths, being an underdog, and diversity amongst other things. i'm not sure if i'll be so blessed to be in the final two, but i have to say that i've been blessed to make it this far. yet beyond this game, i was blessed even before coming here, and thats everything i left back at home to take part in this experience. i think i'm too passionate, sensitive, honest, and outspoken for this game. would i change who i am? not for "a hot second." i hope some of you can understand where i'm coming from and realize that this is "just" a game. some are willing to do anything for the game while others are not. you share with us a sliver of what truly goes on in this chaotic house. remember this is a show. the game completely changed for me when eric left and till this day my strength is for him. i made a promise to myself that i wanted to see everyone leave who took part in his eviction, and up to now...there's only one left.

so with that said...none of it probably makes any sense...but i don't even make sense to myself anymore...for my tush...i love you more than words can ever describe. i think about you every second of the day and can't wait to look into your beautiful eyes. know that you are it for me and i'm still fallen...plus 9...thank you for waiting and believing in me. happy anniversary. for my family...what would i be without you guys. you are all my inspiration and reason for being in this craziness. i think about you always and my hoh win was for all of you. mami...i love you soooooooo much. thank you for making me the woman i am today. papi, steven, and frankie...you are my men and strength in this game. thank you for teaching me not to be a coward and for always loving me no matter what. i hope you guys are proud of me. may god bless us....i miss u like crazy....capi and all the guys at station 1...we love u all!... and to all the fans....THANK YOU....for everything!

all my love, ivette.